KSJ1210
LIF Infant
Member since 7/05 259 total posts
Name:
shannon
|
Got this email today! I thought I was having a PMS moment then I realized no it wasn't I am just a MOM!! thought I would share..
We are sitting at lunch one day when my daughter casually mentions that she and her husband arethinking of "starting a family." "We're taking a
survey," she says half-joking. "Do you think I shouldhave a baby?" "It will change your life," I say,carefully keeping my tone neutral. "I know," she says, "no more sleeping in on weekends, no more spontaneous
vacations."
But that is not what I meant at all. I look at mydaughter, trying to decide what to tell her. I want
her to know what she will never learn in childbirthclasses.
I want to tell her that the physical wounds of childbearing will heal, but becoming a mother will leave her with an emotional wound so raw that she will
be vulnerable. I consider warning her that she
will never again read a newspaper without asking,
"What if that had been MY child?"
That every plane crash, every house fire will haunt
her. That when she sees pictures of starving children, she will wonder if anything could be worse than
watching your child die.
I look at her carefully manicured nails and stylishsuit and think that no matter how sophisticated sheis, becoming a mother will reduce her to the primitive
level of a bear protecting her cub. That an urgentcall of "Mom!" will cause her to drop a soufflé or her best crystal
I feel that I should warn her that no matter how many years she has invested in her career, she will be
professionally derailed by motherhood. She might arrange for childcare, but one day she will be going into an important business meeting and she will think of her baby's sweet smell. She will have to use every ounce of discipline to keep from running home, just to make sure her baby is all right.
I want my daughter to know that will no longer be routine. That a five year old boy's desire to go to the men's room rather than the women's
at McDonald's will become a major dilemma. That right there, in the midst of clattering trays and screaming
children, issues of independence and gender identity
will be weighed against the prospect that a childmolester may be lurking in that restroom.
However decisive she may be at the office, she will
second-guess herself constantly as a mother. Looking at my attractive daughter, I want to assure her that
eventually she will shed the pounds of pregnancy, butshe will never feel the same about herself. That her
life, now so important, will be of less value to her once she has a child. That she would give herself up
in a moment to save her offspring, but will also begin
to hope for more years, not to accomplish her owndreams, but to watch her child accomplish theirs.
I want her to know that a cesarean scar or shiny stretch marks will become badges of honor. My daughter's relationship with her husband will change, and not in the way she thinks. I wish she could understand how much more you can love a man who is
careful to powder the baby or who never hesitates to play with his child. I think she should know that shewill fall in love with him again for reasons she would now find very unromantic. I wish my daughter could sense the bond she will feel with women throughout history who have tried to stop war, prejudice and drunk driving.
I want to describe to my daughter the exhilaration of seeing your child learn to ride a bike. I want to capture for her the belly laugh of a baby who is
touching the soft fur of a dog or cat for the first time.
I want her to taste the joy that is so actually hurts.
My daughter's quizzical look makes me realize that tears have formed in my eyes. "You'll never regret it," I finally say. Then I reached across the table,
squeezed my daughter's hand and offered a silent prayer for her, and for me, and for all the meremortal women who stumble their way into this most
wonderful of callings.
Please share this with a Mom that you know or all of your girlfriends who may
May you always have in your arms the one who is in your heart.
|
