Great, now my kid is being bullied

DS told us over the weekend that some older boys on the bus have really been giving him a hard time and calling him gay! He got in trouble on the bus in December for pushing a boy who had hit him first. And now he feels like he can't even defend himself. We told him to use his words first and tell the boys to leave him alone, or even to shut up. We also told him that if anyone puts their hands on him that he has every right to defend himself and that DH and I will back him up with school. I've also put in a call to the vice-principal, but she hasn't called back yet.
What else are we supposed to do?! I don't think he should have to simply ignore being tormented. But he has already been shown by the school that he will get in trouble for defending himself. So what's the alternative? I could drive him, but to be perfectly honest, I don't want to be that parent who swoops in and fixes everything for him. I want him to learn coping skills and how to handle tough situations. But it's like the school backs you against a wall.
I'm open to suggestions.

Re: Great, now my kid is being bullied

It sounds like the Principal needs to be on that bus for a week, or they need an aide, especially given that your son was hit previously on it, and I think I remember an incident that happened in the past as well? (girl accusing him of something?) At the very minimum those kids should be removed from the bus for a period of time, because no matter how you slice and dice it, it's bullying. I would call the VP again, if you don't get a return call, call the Principal. If you don't get a call back, call the Superintendent. Good luck! and to your son

Great, now my kid is being bullied

Can you have him sit in the first row - right behind the driver or across the aisle? Maybe if the driver saw/heard what was going on, he/she would intervene. I know my son's bus driver doesn't stand for anything like that on her bus, but if it happens in the back she might not know about it. I would also e-mail the prinicipal and vice-prinicipal so you have a record of your complaint.

Re: Great, now my kid is being bullied

I called again and left a verbal/written message for her. She is out of the school until the afternoon, so I left my cell number so we can speak today. I want to talk about seat assignments. But I feel like the older boys should be the ones to be assigned to sit up front to avoid them doing this to anyone else. They are the ones mistreating a child much younger, there should be repercussions to their actions to make them understand what they are doing is wrong. Simply moving my son may help, but its not going to teach the older boys anything. They are the ones who need to ave their privileges revoked.

Re: Great, now my kid is being bullied

Great, now my kid is being bullied

My good friend is a guidence counselor at an elem school-
she sold me on never letting my kids get on a school bus.
she said there is just no controlling what goes on-what they learn-it is a mix of ages, unattended to do whatever.
it is the biggest pain in the ass to bring him and pick him up-but i just don't need bus issues in my life.

Re: Great, now my kid is being bullied

I could drive him every morning if I needed to, but pick up is trickier since I work in the afternoon, so he would still need to be on the bus.

Re: Great, now my kid is being bullied

I would suggest emailing the principal your concerns. That way it's documented.

Tell them that you are concerned about the comments that were made on the bus, say what they were & then reference the Dignity for All Students Act.http://www.p12.nysed.gov/dignityact/

Re: Great, now my kid is being bullied

Message edited 1/14/2013 5:13:44 PM.

Re: Great, now my kid is being bullied

I put in two calls and got no return call. Tomorrow the emails begin.

Re: Great, now my kid is being bullied

The VP called me this morning. She said she is going to talk to the boys involved, she's going to reiterate where the kids are supposed to sit (it turns out my DS doesn't sit near these kids, but as the bus empties out, those boys move up) and also talk to all of the kids on the bus reiterating that they can not tease or bully. Hopefully things will end here. She said if anything continues that the boys will face more serious consequences.