Had a bad night with my son...(sorry but this is long) UPDATE

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Had a bad night with my son...(sorry but this is long) UPDATE - this is UNREAL

Just to give a little history..my son is 16 years old and currently has a girlfriend who is 14. I don't have a problem with it..but what I do have a problem with is the fact that he is neglecting all of his responsibilities to be on the phone for hours with this girl. It's almost like he eats, sh**s, breathes her. I had to take his cell phone away because I got a bill for $300 for one month because they just don't stop calling each other. I thought that would help..but it hasn't. He recently told me since his phone was taken away she calls all of his friends to "check" on him while they are in school?? I don't agree with that. While he thinks it's cute, I think it's stalkerish and she should not be concerned with what he is doing in school, because they BOTH should be learning. He goes to an all boys school, and her all girls..so I really don't see the point in calling while in school or calling his friends cell phones at that. I asked him to talk to her, because she has no business calling their phone at all.

So..we had it out last night because I've noticed when he comes home from school sometimes he'll say hello, or sometimes he doesn't. He'll just come in go to his room drop his book bag off, come back out grab the phone and go back in. I have to call him 2 or 3 times for dinner and he will hang up the phone, come eat (sometimes) and then go back in the room with the phone. I have to remind him to walk the dog, do his chores, clean his room and sometimes he is on the phone passed 11 or even hides it in his room. I've missed important phone calls because of this as well. He also has been copping an attitude with DH (who is his stepfather) for no reason, and never wants to talk to me in front of him which I don't agree with at all. We are a family, and if he needs/wants to tell me something he can tell me in front of him as well. BUT..he thinks/feels it's none of his business and that pisses me off. He has never expressed that he doesn't like DH, if anything it's always been the complete opposite, but lately, I just don't know what is up with him disrespecting the both of us the way he does.

While I completely understand what it is/was to be a teenager in that "puppy love" state, I don't like the fact that this girl ..well both of them are so clingy with each other. It's over the top and ridiculous!

I also am having a hard time with the fact that she is 14 years old and expressing things that are hinting towards having "sex". While I do not think my son is 100% innocent, I can't help but feel like she is pushing the subject WAY too much and it scares me because she's only 14. I've seen letters she's written to him (which he showed me) and was quite shocked at what I was reading. She's invited him to her house when her parents aren't home..and I don't agree with that at all. I know kids will be kids...BUT the main reason I have a problem with this is because last July my son was talking with a girl he liked, and she invited him and a friend over to watch a movie in the middle of the night. He had spent the night in his friends house and they thought it would be fun. To make a long story short... they were only watching a movie, the father ended up coming down and yelling at his daughter, and my son was in the bathroom and decided to be quiet so he wouldn't know he was there. End result...his friend ran home, and my son stood in the bathroom and heard fighting..and the next thing you know..someone got shot. This girl shot herself in front of her father..and died. Thank god nothing happened to my son, but he heard when she did it and didn't realize what had happened. It took a LONG time for him and us and the family to adjust to what had happened. By no means was it my sons fault...but I still have that etched in my head..had he not gone over..maybe it wouldn't have happened. I know it may have happened with someone else, but at least it wouldn't have affected us directly the way this did. I loved this girl...but she obviously had issues, and the last thing I want right now is to have him go through something like that again..hence why I don't want him in anyone's house when the parents are not home, especially a girl!

To make this REALLY long story short..the conversation/argument ended with both of us in tears..and him not understanding why I was/am so upset.

What to do??

**UPDATE*** To top it off..I just got a phone call from his teacher who says he has not been bringing in his homework and when the teacher told him he would have to stay after school, he told him he was NOT going to. WHY?? Because he picks up this F***IN girl from school!!!!!!!!! The teacher even went so far as to say that he thinks he's been bitten by the love bug...because he sees him with a girl outside all the time. Chat Icon

Message edited 5/9/2007 10:14:26 AM.

Posted 5/9/07 10:02 AM