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LOVENLAUGHTER
LIF Infant
Member since 5/08 214 total posts
Name:
Jen
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Has anyone had issues with the church regarding godparents?
I am having an issue with my catholic church regarding picking god parents who do not attend church weekly. They told me that maybe I should pick someone else!!!! I told the lady that I honestly do not know anyone that goes to church regularly anymore and I am not going to pick someone just because they go to church. Maybe I should have lied and said that they do attend????  Or maybe if I put a large enough donation in the envelope it would be ok?
We understand that being a god parent is not about raising your child if something happens to you. In this day and age with all that goes on in these churches and the "mandatory" donations they ask for it is very frustrating. We are trying to do the right thing but they are not making it easy for us.
Has anyone else had any issues??
Sorry I should have added that my brother and sister in law are both Catholic. My SIL has not received her confirmation but is a god mother to 2 others one of which is in the same church as me and they did not have this issue.
Message edited 12/15/2009 9:23:55 AM.
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Posted 12/15/09 9:06 AM  |
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Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
Mommy2Boys
My Boys!!!!
Member since 6/06 14437 total posts
Name:
C
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Re: Has anyone had issues with the church regarding godparents?
They never asked if they attend church. My church required at least one godparent be Catholic and I had to provide something showing they received all their sacraments. That is ridiculous!
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| Posted 12/15/09 9:09 AM |
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babyfever08
Love my babies!
Member since 11/08 3938 total posts
Name:
Antonella
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Re: Has anyone had issues with the church regarding godparents?
Nope. I only had one Godparent for DS, and the Church was fine with it. They didn't ask if my sister attends regulary- she did need to get a letter signed from her parish.
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| Posted 12/15/09 9:09 AM |
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mtnmama
Member since 5/06 4794 total posts
Name:
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Re: Has anyone had issues with the church regarding godparents?
I don't see anything wrong with what they said. Sorry you don't know anyone who is a regular church goer, but I don't think the request is ridiculous. I hope it all works out, Good luck.
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| Posted 12/15/09 9:12 AM |
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LI2VA
Love my life!!
Member since 11/05 3125 total posts
Name:
Melissa
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Re: Has anyone had issues with the church regarding godparents?
Hi J 
I have never had any of these problems with either Katia or Rocco. The only thing that they ever asked me was if they were catholic or not. I did not have to show them proof of it either.
I agree, very frustrating!! 
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| Posted 12/15/09 9:14 AM |
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Bops
My 3 wishes
Member since 12/07 13625 total posts
Name:
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Re: Has anyone had issues with the church regarding godparents?
Heres my post from almost a year ago 
http://www.lifamilies.com/chat/topic.aspx?ID=387174&Highlight=godparents
In the end, my DH spoke to the pastor and he said that if my BIL promises to make his confirmation in the future
( which was one of the issues) that he would let him proceeed with being the god-father...
Personally I feel, that you do not need to go to church to act as a good catholic- Its more of a way of life, than it is an "event" such as attending church...Hope it all works out for you !
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| Posted 12/15/09 9:18 AM |
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dpli
Daylight savings :)
Member since 5/05 13973 total posts
Name:
D
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Re: Has anyone had issues with the church regarding godparents?
If you look at the requirements for a godparent, it says that they should be a Catholic in good standing. The Church consideres a Catholic in good standing someone who attends weekly mass.
Having said that, what the Church "requires" varies from parish to parish. All godparents should have the requirements, but not all parishes check them carefully.
When I was a godparent, I had to get a letter from my parish's pastor stating that I was a Catholic in good standing. He knew me, so I didn't have a problem. I assume some pastors just give out the letter, some probably want to talk to you before they will give it to you.
When i had my DS baptized, I wasn't asked for proof of anything (different parish).
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| Posted 12/15/09 9:18 AM |
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HeathKernandez
Our Ron is an awesome Ron
Member since 4/07 9091 total posts
Name:
baby fish mouth
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Re: Has anyone had issues with the church regarding godparents?
In a traditional Catholic Church, the God parents SHOULD be active parishioners...
I don't think the request is too outlandish... It depends on how 'liberal' your church is, KWIM?
But it wouldn't surprise me that some churches feel this way... I don't remember whether or not my church asked me this but both of my son's God parents were confirmed etc...I also had him baptized in Greenwich Village, so I'm sure it was more on the liberal side.
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| Posted 12/15/09 9:18 AM |
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LOVENLAUGHTER
LIF Infant
Member since 5/08 214 total posts
Name:
Jen
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Re: Has anyone had issues with the church regarding godparents?
I just want to put it out there that this post was not meant to offend anyone. I personally do not attend church. I know I probably should. For those who do not attend and the god parents do not attend what are we supposed to do not have a christening?
By the way my husband is 1/2 jewish, was baptized and did not receive his confirmation - this same church allowed us to get married there.
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| Posted 12/15/09 9:35 AM |
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annoyedTTCer
LIF Adult
Member since 4/09 3272 total posts
Name:
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Re: Has anyone had issues with the church regarding godparents?
I would tell the priest that some of the people that attend the church the most are the least Christian people out there.
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| Posted 12/15/09 9:39 AM |
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dpli
Daylight savings :)
Member since 5/05 13973 total posts
Name:
D
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Re: Has anyone had issues with the church regarding godparents?
Posted by LOVENLAUGHTER
I just want to put it out there that this post was not meant to offend anyone. I personally do not attend church. I know I probably should. For those who do not attend and the god parents do not attend what are we supposed to do not have a christening?
By the way my husband is 1/2 jewish, was baptized and did not receive his confirmation - this same church allowed us to get married there.
I wasn't offended, just trying to answer your question.  To address what a couple of other people have said, whatever your feelings/issues/whatever are with the Church, baptism is a sacrament, and IMO the requirements for making a sacrament shouldn't be dismissed so easily. I realize that many people have their children baptized for cultural/family reasons and are not that religious themselves, but you can't fault the Church for upholding the traditions the way they are meant to be upheld. I do find it interesting that they didn't have a problem with your DH not being confirmed if they are being so strict with the Baptism.
Getting off my soapbox now.....What I would do in your situation is ask the people who you want to be the godparents to get a letter stating that they are a Catholic in good standing so that he/she can be a godparent. Their parishes may not give them any problem and you might not have an issue at all. If they can't get a letter, and you still want them as the godparents, perhaps another parish would be willing to accommodate you.
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| Posted 12/15/09 9:46 AM |
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KateDevine
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Member since 6/06 24950 total posts
Name:
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Re: Has anyone had issues with the church regarding godparents?
Posted by annoyedTTCer
I would tell the priest that some of the people that attend the church the most are the least Christian people out there.
Somehow I don't think this would help her case.
To the OP, unfortunately, they may have gotten stricter since you got married, and it is within their rights to do so.
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| Posted 12/15/09 9:47 AM |
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annoyedTTCer
LIF Adult
Member since 4/09 3272 total posts
Name:
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Re: Has anyone had issues with the church regarding godparents?
Posted by KateDevine
Posted by annoyedTTCer
I would tell the priest that some of the people that attend the church the most are the least Christian people out there.
Somehow I don't think this would help her case.
To the OP, unfortunately, they may have gotten stricter since you got married, and it is within their rights to do so.
Might not but it is 100% the truth.
And not for nothing but the catholic church has no right to judge anyone else these days. if anything they should be going out of their way to try to attract folks back to the flock.
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| Posted 12/15/09 9:50 AM |
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Re: Has anyone had issues with the church regarding godparents?
Oh man, we went through h*ll and back trying to appease our church. They too wanted the Godparents to be active members of the church and they wanted a letter from their churches!! BIL got this no problem since his family donates money to the church regularly but my close friend doesn't go to church frequently because she works 24hr shifts as a PA at a CATHOLIC hospital.
Long story short, my church gave us a "pardon" and let us baptize DD without the letter.
All I can say is hang in there! They can easily make exceptions and if your church doesn't want to accept a new Catholic in to their community then I'm sure there is another church that will.
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| Posted 12/15/09 10:03 AM |
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pinkandblue
Our family is complete, maybe
Member since 9/05 32436 total posts
Name:
Stephanie
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Re: Has anyone had issues with the church regarding godparents?
don't even get me started on this topic...let's just say that the church makes it less than easy to baptise your child....I found a church that did not require written proof from my godparents church and that is where I did the ceremony
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| Posted 12/15/09 10:05 AM |
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pinkandblue
Our family is complete, maybe
Member since 9/05 32436 total posts
Name:
Stephanie
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Re: Has anyone had issues with the church regarding godparents?
Posted by annoyedTTCer
Posted by KateDevine
Posted by annoyedTTCer
I would tell the priest that some of the people that attend the church the most are the least Christian people out there.
Somehow I don't think this would help her case.
To the OP, unfortunately, they may have gotten stricter since you got married, and it is within their rights to do so.
Might not but it is 100% the truth.
And not for nothing but the catholic church has no right to judge anyone else these days. if anything they should be going out of their way to try to attract folks back to the flock.
I agree 100%
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| Posted 12/15/09 10:06 AM |
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MrsList
Sweet cheeks
Member since 4/09 1696 total posts
Name:
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Re: Has anyone had issues with the church regarding godparents?
Maybe try a different church if you don't like the restrictions at yours. My aunt and uncle are having my cousin baptized at Assumption, which is I think in the Smithtown/Lake Grove area. They didn't ask for proof of anything at all for the godparents. They're apparently VERY liberal.
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| Posted 12/15/09 11:21 AM |
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Salason
♥
Member since 6/05 9878 total posts
Name:
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Re: Has anyone had issues with the church regarding godparents?
I didn't have any issues but I also really wanted godparents who went to church because I thought that was kind of the point. I wound up picking my SIL (who does) and brother (who does not) because it would have been heartbreaking to my bro if I didnt but at least I have one godparent who can guide him in his faith which is really the point not just honoring someone close to you (although admittedly I did that in my other choice). My brother was an altar boy and attended catholic schools his whole life though so i figured he's not totally devoid of his faith
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| Posted 12/15/09 11:38 AM |
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