Have you told anyone about infertility issues?

Of course besides your DH?
I have this secret name on here because I wanted TTC to just be between DH and I but now that I have been diagnosed with PCOS and have to take meds, DH thinks I should talk to my mom about it, and for some reason I just can't seem to come up with a good time to briing it up. I have always told my mom everything but I am hesitant on this for some reason.

Re: Have you told anyone about infertility issues?

I have talked to a friend who went through all of this already, and I told my sister but no, my mom doesnt know. She has so much going on right now that I dont want her to worry.

Re: Have you told anyone about infertility issues?

most of our family and close freinds knew because they knew we were trying and unsuccessful.

Re: Have you told anyone about infertility issues?

Many of my friends and my immediate family know about my IF issues. I haven't told extended family. I actually recently told my boss because firstly, I had a miscarriage and had to be out for a D&C. And secondly, I'm going to be doing IVF and I will be having to come and go a lot during working hours.

You need to do what's best for you. Sometimes its nice to have the suport and understanding of your family, but its also hard when everyone asks you what's happening in your cycles...especially if you're getting BFNs.

Re: Have you told anyone about infertility issues?

No really. I told my boss so that she would understand leaving early/coming in late, and also my bff.

I don't want every cycle to be anaylzed and I don't want to answer questions every time I go to the dr. or have a procedure done.

Re: Have you told anyone about infertility issues?

I didn't tell anyone till after I was pregnant, and past the first trimester that it was difficult for us.

I did tell my boss just so i would have time to go to the Dr.

Re: Have you told anyone about infertility issues?

We told our immediate families and I told some of my close friends. It helps me to deal with everything by talking to people about it.

Re: Have you told anyone about infertility issues?

I did -- I got lots of support and found out a lot of people had been through similar sitations and I never knew it (for example my cousin) and it brought us closer together.

I told my mom, and the only thing I would say is your mother may have some information or past history that me be helpful in figuring out what's going on with YOU.

Re: Have you told anyone about infertility issues?

We had already told people we were pregnant and than we miscarried so everyone knew about that and then with our other ones we told immediate family & friends..it helps to have people to talk to about it and I have learned alot about others experiences as well but it does make it hard sometimes when I feel like after a dr appt people are waiting to hear how things go etc..so I think there are good and bads to everything.

Re: Have you told anyone about infertility issues?

We haven't told anyone. My LIF friends know but other than that, no one else knows we're having trouble.

Re: Have you told anyone about infertility issues?

Yes, pretty much all our family and friends and anyone who is nosy enough to ask me when are we going to have kids.

I have had amazing support from all my family & friends (except one) and it is surprising how quiet the nosy people become once you tell them

Re: Have you told anyone about infertility issues?

I've told my mom and a couple of close friends. DH also told his mom and his best friend. I find that it is important to talk to someone other than DH about these issues. It helps a great deal.

Re: Have you told anyone about infertility issues?

No family knows at all. I told a few close friends and my team at work knows.

Re: Have you told anyone about infertility issues?

My family and DH's family know. My family knew before hand but once I had to have surgery under a general anesthetic, I felt DH's family had the right to know so they could support their son and daughter in law. And they did. They do not ask any imposing questions. It all depends on an individual's level of comfort.

ETA:
Select friends know, but I imagine more people are guessing since I am an old fart with no kids yet.

Message edited 6/4/2007 7:26:52 PM.

Re: Have you told anyone about infertility issues?

Only very very very close friends who have NO TIES at all to DH's family or my family.
No need for them to worry, plus we have some people on both sides of the family who would probably try to beat us to the punch...as if this is a da*n race!!! It's disgusting...

Re: Have you told anyone about infertility issues?

No, we haven't. Nobody know except for me, DH, and the doctors. I am even using an anonomous name on here.
I tried to tell my mom a few times but just couldn't do it. I am worried about upsetting her.

Re: Have you told anyone about infertility issues?

I actually anticipate nosy cousins asking all sorts of questions at a family event in about a month.They always do.I cannot decide if I want to take the high road and be polite or if I really want to pu them in their places and allow them to alienate themselves from the only cousins who still talk to them. I have taken the high road too long.

Re: Have you told anyone about infertility issues?

We only told a few people when we got the first diagnosis, but people said not to worry. (It was LONG before we even got married or TTCing, so we just went with it.) The month after we got married I got the devastating news of a tumor. We started medication and chemo. We had to tell family, friends, work . It helped keep people from asking when we were having kids because we had a bigger battle.

Re: Have you told anyone about infertility issues?

Yeah, just about everyone close to us knows now. It's been such a long time since we started TTC that I sort of had to tell people.
Work cuz of time I have to take off and family and friends cuz they kept asking.
It actually helps alot for us because at least we can say where we are in the process if anyone asks.
I also agree with Kara, I am surprised at how much support is out there and how many people have gone through IUI's and IVF.

Re: Have you told anyone about infertility issues?

Re: Have you told anyone about infertility issues?

Most close friends and family know. I am okay with it now but I do hate it when people try to give unsolicited advice.

Re: Have you told anyone about infertility issues?

yeah, I opened up after a while to almost everyone. It was easier for me, then keeping it a secret. I needed support and for the most part I got it.

Re: Have you told anyone about infertility issues?

well... i've known that i can't have kids since i was about 6 or 7 years old. i was born with a genetic disorder and my ovaries aren't formed correctly. so, i'm sure my mom told some of the family when i was first diagnosed with it, because its one of the major 'symptoms"... but not sure they all remember being that it was 20 years ago- LOL
BUT, DH and i have a BIG group of about 20 friends who are like brothers and sisters to us...we're all very close. and i have told a few of them, just so that they don't start asking questions, etc... and its nice to be able to talk about it and not have a 'secret". we aren't trying for kids yet- and when we do, most likely we won't be able to do IVF because of possible health problems for me, so we're going to adopt. so i'm sure we'll tell everybody once we start the adoption process. not sure if DHs parents know anything though...

Re: Have you told anyone about infertility issues?

Yes pretty much all our family and close friends knew about our fertility issues. We got a lot of support and also found out we weren't the only ones in the family with issues.

Re: Have you told anyone about infertility issues?

Yeah, pretty much everyone knows about our situation - I told them in advance of us even TTC. I couldn't take everyone asking when we were going to get preggo all the time - explaining it shuts them up LOL!