Having a hard time enjoying the kids

I am pretty much a SAHM and to put it simply, I'm really struggling with enjoying my kids. They are 2 and 4 and its a constant battle with everything. I try to do fun things with them all the day, but not a 1/2 hour can go by without some major meltdown or ridiculous tantrum over something so stupid. Today I took them to a kid craft at Whole Foods and they were fine for a while then it turned into "No I want the glue...that's not the color paper i wanted", etc etc etc etc. They constantly bicker and fight and I cannot take it anymore. I fantasize about fulltime daycare. I know it sounds terrible, but thats how I feel right now. My happiest time of day is bedtime.

I guess I'm just looking for someone to say they've been through this. I'm worried that I will look back and regret not enjoying this time so much more, but right now the word enjoyment does not fit the scene.

Just a vent I suppose!

Re: Having a hard time enjoying the kids

I have days like this. I really think its that toddler age.My DD is 3 - we have been having a lot of tantrums and whining lately. Makes the days much longer when she is being like that,hang in there.

Re: Having a hard time enjoying the kids

It was like that over here today. I already told DH that as soon as he gets home I'm going out to the grocery store - I just need some time alone.

I was trying to get some housework done today and it felt like every 30 seconds I was breaking up a fight or having someone screaming at me for something stupid. Loads of fun. I think it's that we are together too much lately. Camps have ended and school doesn't start for a few weeks.

Re: Having a hard time enjoying the kids

I have days where I want to throw DS out the window- and I only have one! Is there any way you can hire someone for a few hours a week just to give you some mental health time? Or maybe you can worksomething out with a friend where you trade babysitting for a few hours?

Re: Having a hard time enjoying the kids

Well, I only have one child, but today was challenging. Luckily DS got home early tonight, around 7, so I have a break now. He kept getting into stuff, and I kept having to tell him not to do certain things, then he kept trying to do them, you understand I'm sure.

I am very likely going back to work sometime this Fall, or whenever I find a decent job. Sometimes I secretly hope it will take me longer than that so I have more time with him, other days like today, I can't wait. Eventhough I know when I'm back at work I'll miss him terribly and having an hour or two in the evening won't be enough.

Try to relax tonight. Tomorrow should be better.

Re: Having a hard time enjoying the kids

I hear ya! DS is only 8 months and he has entered the "constant whining" stage. I am sure he will never grow out of it if he's anything like his father.

Oops............I don't think I am supposed to write that.............

FWIW, one of my friend's put her DS in daycare F/T for many of the reasons you describe. She says it's definitely $$$$$ well spent.

Re: Having a hard time enjoying the kids

Same here. You are def not alone!!

Re: Having a hard time enjoying the kids

My kids are the same age and also a boy and girl and I go through the same thing EVERY DAY!!!!! I know exactly what you mean and I guess it is normal!!!!!!

Re: Having a hard time enjoying the kids

Mine are 6, 4, and 2 and there are days when I want the day to last FOREVER.... and days that I am counting down the hours till bedtime.


SO not alone

Re: Having a hard time enjoying the kids

Honestly my 2 have started that already and they are only 1 and 2.5!!! I knew it would happen eventually (I have a brother and we fought like crazy) but not this soon. I see alot of wine and hair dye in my future!!

I work part time which helps break it up, but it is constant every day that I'm home and not sitting with them both giving them each 100% of my attention (which as we all know is impossible.)

It does go fast, although you don't feel that way now. Do you have them in activities? I'm going to try putting Hannah in a ballet/tap class for 45 minutes and spend some time with just Jack. I also have them both in a My Gym class (ok I have Hannah in one, but Jack participates with the 3 year olds ) During those times I have some peace and fun!!!

Also we do playdates - where Hannah has her friend and I can focus on Jack and vice versa. I know my kids are younger, but I think the concepts may work even with older kids. At least I hope so because I'll be in your shoes soon enough!!

Message edited 8/25/2009 9:12:11 PM.

Re: Having a hard time enjoying the kids

Posted by CathyB

It was like that over here today. I already told DH that as soon as he gets home I'm going out to the grocery store - I just need some time alone.

I was trying to get some housework done today and it felt like every 30 seconds I was breaking up a fight or having someone screaming at me for something stupid. Loads of fun. I think it's that we are together too much lately. Camps have ended and school doesn't start for a few weeks.

Re: Having a hard time enjoying the kids

ME!!!!!!!!!!I just said today that I need to go to work or something, it is driving me crazy being home all the time with them!! It is def really hard being home all day and not going crazy!

Re: Having a hard time enjoying the kids

Wow..I could have written this post today...and I am sure a few others since Ive been a mother!

But days like today I look back on and want to smack myself because I feel like I am not taking every moment in. I feel like I get so frustrated and have so much tension that I am not enjoying the moments that are passing by so fast..but then realize...no Noreen, it WAS a really rought day! And I need to learn that rough days will happen, just like the good days.

Megan was all over the place today. Took her to the park and she just ran and ran..didnt listen to me, went too far, she had me running the entire time. Wouldnt eat..threw her juice box at me..when we came home, she took off her shorts and flung them at me and the snap hit me in the eye..that was the last straw. I couldnt hand her over to my husband because he was working on the house..but I put her to sleep a half hour earlier than usual. Sometimes after she goes to bed I think, did I lose patience too fast? Shes my baby, etc. But sometimes the answer is NO I didnt. The answer is is that this is the hardest job ever, being a mother overall...and from one SAHM to another..we have to make sure we have breaks in order to continue to function well.

I dont realize this enough..I am never without Megan. Its very rare that I will even go grocery shopping alone. But I think we ALL need this..

Just know you are NOT ALONE at all...and you're doing a great job!

Re: Having a hard time enjoying the kids

I'd love to tell you it ends but at 6 & almost 8, my kids are doing the same things. They'll go through their stages of fighting and then declare peace only when they have a common enemy like me. If I'm past the point of aggravation & yell, then they will comfort each other.

It was the same way with my nephew & niece so I think it's just what we're in for.