Having a terrible time with bedtime. Need advice.

DDs bedtime has always been later than most. She usually went to bed around 9:30 and got up between 7:30-8:00. I know it is late for a 5-6 year old, but any time I tried to put her to bed any earlier, it was a fight...and she didn't usually have trouble getting up. I felt like, she's getting 10 hours of sleep, so she's good.

Well, this year, she's up way later than 10pm! I start at 8:30, turning off lights; 9:00 is medicine, teeth, reading routine. She knows it is coming because as soon as I tell her to come in for medicine, she starts whining about having to go to bed. So we're done usually around 9:30, and I leave her in her room to go to sleep. Well, she is coming out of her room at 10:00, 10:30, 11:00 telling me she can't sleep! Some nights I think she is asleep and I go to bed and find her awake when I check on her. Last night I fell asleep on the couch and forgot to check on her when I went to bed...well, she crawled into bed with me at 2am and said she couldn't sleep...that she was awake the whole time, and then DH came to bed around 3am (don't ask) and she was still awake!! She got up without much argument this morning. But I know she is tired, as she is whiny, and melts down much more easily than she used to. (Some days she has much more trouble getting up than she did today.)

Short of drugging her every night, I just don't know what to do anymore.

Re: Having a terrible time with bedtime. Need advice.

Are there nights where she is sleeping? You are going to have to create a timeline of what nights she is sleeping and when she is not. Some kids need alot of activity before sleep so they can pass out and others need no activity bc it riles them up. See which way she falls and go with it. I personally go with what works vs whats the norm. She needs to go to bed so thats the goal. I would make some type of fun incentive to sleeping. Buy a sleeping, buy a bed tent etc...something that will make her secure. Is she looking for someone to stay with her? When you sleep with her does she go right out? Nothing has to be permanent. If she is in need of you during the night, go in, let her pass out and then leave.

Re: Having a terrible time with bedtime. Need advice.

could it be from the medicine she is taking? staying up til 10pm is one thing .... but 2 or 3am is so late for her not to be tired.

Re: Having a terrible time with bedtime. Need advice.

Re: Having a terrible time with bedtime. Need advice.

Could be the meds or she could be crazy over-tired and is having trouble settling down.


I am assuming she is in school? DD just started K and she is exhausted, she barely make it to 7 most nights and this morning I had to wake her at 7:20.

I think for a few days I would try an earlier bedtime and see what happens. She has to be exhausted and maybe the window to put her down is earlier than you think it is?

Re: Having a terrible time with bedtime. Need advice.

You didn't say what time she has be up? What if you try to wake her up earlier? I do that with my DD, 6.5 so that she will get to sleep earlier.

A few other things:

she could very well be missing that "window" and is over-tired. try starting her routine at 7:30 and lights out by 8:15.

what is her diet like? sugar before bedtime or in the afternoon?

is she watching tv or has screen time right before bed?

i agree to look into the medication

how about something soothing and relaxing to put her to bed? i have given my DDs foot rubs and even done "guided" relaxation (deep breathing, visualization) for them when they are in their beds and can't fall asleep!

Re: Having a terrible time with bedtime. Need advice.

I would try to start a bedtime routine earlier. DS is 7 and right after dinner is shower and a TV show/plays legos. He then brushes his teeth and is in bed at 7:45 for a book. We read together and lights out is usually around 8:15; he falls asleeps very shortly after. We keep it very low key after dinner most of the time, quiet acivity, no running around or sometimes a family game. This has been our schedule for years now and it works well for us; DS wakes on his own around 7am.

Re: Having a terrible time with bedtime. Need advice.

I have the same issue!!! DD is up until after 11 some school nights! I have tried everything and she is just so full of energy from the time she wakes up until the time she falls asleep and her brain just does not shut off. The only thing that worked was the first 3 school nights, I laid down with her and just ignored her and she was alseep by 9 ish. But then so am i practically. I didn't do that the 2nd week of school and it was miserable. I sometimes feel that it is because I let her have her binky until age 3.5 I feel like she never learned how to self soothe because I have had bedtime problems ever since. She used to sleep from 8:30 until 7:30-8am. I am going to the pediatrician on sept 27th and going to talk to him. The only thing I do wrong is she has a tv in her room but I have even tried taking that out. Good luck! If I find out any ideas, I'll be sure to share!

Re: Having a terrible time with bedtime. Need advice.

I agree. I'd check into the side effects of the medicine.
Some meds can keep you awake.

My DS goes to bed by 8:15 and is up at 6:30.
My nephew, however, is a "night owl".
Can't fall asleep before 11. He does have a TV in his room and when school was about to start, my brother and SIL gave him a time for the TV to be shut off. That did NOT go over well with my nephew, which led to SIL laying with him until he fell asleep.

Now that he's been in school, he's been falling asleep earlier and I don't think there's been much argument about the TV either.

Maybe try and wake her earlier in the mornings, so, by evening she's exhausted.

Having a terrible time with bedtime. Need advice.

Melatonin works wonders. I had a really good sleeper, then over the Summer she just wouldn't go to sleep. Ever. Up until very late, just not tired. I gave 3mg of Melatonin on the nights I actually needed her to go to sleep, and she would fall asleep a half hour later. Thankfully that was just a phase for us because now the sleeping is back to normal! (knock on wood). Many children with ADHD and other special needs also take Melatonin because they just can't fall asleep. I would talk to the doctor about it before you try it though since she is on other medication.