Having kids is not a sport (kind of a vent)

I am just so sad and frustrated to hear that yet another person I know is pregnant. Yet another unmarried, irresponsible, drinker, smoker and party girl gone knocked up.

It makes me sad to think that bringing a child into the world is now something "fun" to do, like it is a sport. Do they KNOW what it is like to have a baby? It is such a huge responsibility not to be taken lightly.
It makes me sad to know of other people who struggle to get pregnant. It makes me sad to know of other people who get pregnant and lose a baby. And some just get pregnant because they have nothing better to do with their time.

I can only that they take their situation seriously. Those babies deserve to be taken care of in womb as well as when they enter this world. I that these mothers change their lives for the good and learn what it is like to be a "mommy" and not just the "mother".



(disclaimer: this is my perspective on the situation of the people I know. This may not be applicable to all situations, but I am frustrated for the ones I am aware of...)

Re: Having kids is not a sport (kind of a vent)

I know how you feel.

I grew up watching my father's business thrive on the pregnancies of teens and other people who seriously could not afford to have children without public assistance multiple times. I found myself MANY times wondering why people weren't more careful. A 16 year old should not be having a combo Sweet 16 and Baby shower. It's wrong.

Over the course of my career, I have served children born from similar situations as well as children born positive with FAS and other types of drugs thus putting them in a "system." This system is set up to make sure they get what they need, but the end result is not always a good one and there are no guarantees. Many of these children are not even raised by their parents, but in foster homes and/or grandparents.

Having had my own struggles to get pregnant and stay pregnant nearly knocked me on by @$$ and destroyed me. Once I was blessed with a healthy pregnancy and a beautiful child, I never once forgot where I came from.

I was recently reminded how truly lucky DH and I am when Abby received a first birthday card from the doctors at NSUH Center for Human Reproduction. I teared up and truly felt that parenthood is not a right but a G-d given blessing. I wish more people would feel that way.

Re: Having kids is not a sport (kind of a vent)

A child is a blessing.

I hope this child does for your friend what my Robbie did for me.

For those that don't know.. I was a party girl who smoked on occassion, drank with abandon, ate poorly and generally was on the fast track to an early death.

I got 'knocked up' even though I was on the pill. I was shocked, scared and upside down. I hid those nerves well.

I chose to keep my baby. My choice re-defined who I am. My choice saved my life.

I have 2 beautiful sons now. I have a stable life, a good home, a happy family. I realize I'm lucky. I realize that I probably had more than a few friends talking behind my back and saying how unfortunate my poor offspring was doomed to be.

I'm glad I proved them wrong. I hope and pray your friend is as lucky as I am.

And I pray that if that mother does NOT change her ways.. that her child finds guidance in another way.

ETA: I know your post was not intended to be a criticism of all moms - mine is not meant to justify the actions of those who simply don't think or who get pregnant on purpose. It's just my story and my hope for others like me.

Message edited 9/5/2009 10:26:34 AM.

Re: Having kids is not a sport (kind of a vent)

Re: Having kids is not a sport (kind of a vent)

Most of the time, having a baby brings these type of people back down to reality

Re: Having kids is not a sport (kind of a vent)

A lot of children are born by "accident".

I find that most mothers do love those children regardless. It's not because some children were "unplanned" that they will not be welcome and loved.

It will take some growing up but sometimes it's what it takes.