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BigSmooch
LIF Adolescent
Member since 12/10 747 total posts
Name:
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Hello
I am just popping in to see how everyone is doing since I haven't read the forums in about a month.
As for me, I'm still not pregnant. Three tries since my d&c and no pregnancy to speak of yet. I tested today and it was a bfn so I'm just waiting for AF since I am on cycle day 28 and my longest cycle so far was 30 days. I thought maybe this was it because I waited until day 28 to test and I did't feel like AF was coming but just another bfn. Oh well.
My last pregnancy happened on the first try so I'm hoping there isn't a problem with me after the miscarriage and d&c :( I still have a big fear of staying pregnant if it happens, which I hope it does. It's crazy. You hope things will work out but the reality is that things may not. It is scary and sad.
I hope you are all doing okay. I can't believe it has been 6 months since my miscarriage and I'm not pregnant again. I thought I would be by now. Naive to think it would take only 3 tries but there were quite a few girls here who got pregnant again quickly and I was hoping to be one of them myself.
I pray that things get better for all of us here and that eventually our tough journey is rewarding in the end.
Lots of hugs. I hope we can all keep our heads up.  I know days like today I have a hard time
Message edited 5/17/2011 3:29:23 PM.
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Posted 5/17/11 3:27 PM  |
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CallaLily
Thank you, Saint Gerard!
Member since 10/07 4937 total posts
Name:
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Re: Hello
I feel the same way. We are going on month 5 post m/c and nothing. I'm having a very hard time with it lately and I feel like it's never going to happen. 
Praying we all get BFPs soon. 
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| Posted 5/17/11 4:19 PM |
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keepingsecrets
ridiculously blessed!!
Member since 7/09 1912 total posts
Name:
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Re: Hello
lots of hugs to you too i know it's hard to stay optimistic sometimes. this month marks TWO years of TTC for us and 3 losses in those years. we decided this month that enough is enough and we are going in for our first IUI in a week or so! i've had A LOT of very dark moments in the last two years but ultimately i know i will end up a mommy.........all of us will!! lots of babydust to everybody
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| Posted 5/17/11 4:57 PM |
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inlove10
LIF Infant
Member since 7/10 70 total posts
Name:
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Re: Hello
I have the same exact time line as you. I guess bc we got pregnant on our first try, I thought we would be pregnant right now... I know exactly how you feel. On to month 4 let's hope this is it!
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| Posted 5/17/11 6:20 PM |
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BigSmooch
LIF Adolescent
Member since 12/10 747 total posts
Name:
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Re: Hello
Posted by CallaLily
I feel the same way. We are going on month 5 post m/c and nothing. I'm having a very hard time with it lately and I feel like it's never going to happen.
Praying we all get BFPs soon.
Same here. Sometimes I have days of zero hope and those are the worst.
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| Posted 5/17/11 6:23 PM |
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BigSmooch
LIF Adolescent
Member since 12/10 747 total posts
Name:
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Re: Hello
Posted by keepingsecrets
lots of hugs to you too i know it's hard to stay optimistic sometimes. this month marks TWO years of TTC for us and 3 losses in those years. we decided this month that enough is enough and we are going in for our first IUI in a week or so! i've had A LOT of very dark moments in the last two years but ultimately i know i will end up a mommy.........all of us will!! lots of babydust to everybody
I am sorry about your losses. I wish you a ton of luck with the IUI You are right about one thing, if we want to be Moms that badly we will be one way or another, it's just a matter of getting there.
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| Posted 5/17/11 6:25 PM |
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BigSmooch
LIF Adolescent
Member since 12/10 747 total posts
Name:
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Re: Hello
Posted by inlove10
I have the same exact time line as you. I guess bc we got pregnant on our first try, I thought we would be pregnant right now... I know exactly how you feel. On to month 4 let's hope this is it!
That is how I feel. It happened without even trying the first time. We had sex without protection a few times and BFP. I don't know what gives? We timed it right the first 2 cycles after the miscarriage with confirmed ovulation and nothing. This last month we winged it and just tried to have sex every other day during fertile time and still nothing. It has been discouraging.
If I was never pregnant before I don't think I'd be panicking after 3 months of bfns but because I got pregnant so easily the first time I thought it would have happened by now.
Lots of luck. I hope this is it too!
Message edited 5/17/2011 6:30:31 PM.
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| Posted 5/17/11 6:29 PM |
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PennyCat
Just call me mommy :)
Member since 7/08 19084 total posts
Name:
Jib
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Re: Hello
I hate to see someone worried about getting/staying pregnant. That's me .. and to the point where I'm so scared out of my mind of being pregnant again that I just don't know how I'm going to handle it.
Actually, a quick story for you...
When I found out I was pregnant last time, I was really nervous. In fact, when I found out I had a doubling beta, I showed up at the train station to pick up my very excited DH (he knew about the doubling beta from when I called to tell him) and I had tears POURING down my face!! He asked what was wrong  . I told him I was just so afraid of having another loss. I never imagined being so emotional but since my first loss at 17wks and then the chemical, I was more scared than excited. He told me we have every reason to believe that time was going to work...... and it did...... until my appt at nearly 8wks where we found out NONE of the three hearts were beating.
I just don't know how I'm going to do it next time... but I know I just don't have a choice. I guess the point of this is just to show you you're not alone .. and just like you're scared you won't be able to stay pregnant, there are so many of us who are scared right along with you.
One piece of advice I will say .. even though you've had just one loss... is maybe you should set up a consult with an RE. I see Dr.Braverman (who by the way, specializes in multiple losses). He ran a whole panel where we found clotting issues that I'm treating with baby aspirin and injectable blood thinners. The losses, by the way, were total flukes and not related to the issues we were treating.
With so much that's beyond our control, it makes me feel good to at least know that I'm treating various issues and doing all I can to get pregnant and stay pregnant .. I just hope it happens one of these days.
Good luck!!
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| Posted 5/17/11 7:10 PM |
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PrincessP
Big sister!!!!!!!!!!
Member since 12/05 17450 total posts
Name:
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Re: Hello
Hey!
That actually freaked me out when you said 6 months since the miscarriage knowing we had it the same week or so. I cant believe it bc it still feels like yesterday. I am sorry that you are feeling like its not working for you right now but many do not get preggo the first time. I waited 6 months with dd #1 which felt like a lifetime. (we wanted a honeymoon baby). Trust me, when you least expect it, it will happen. Lots of luck to you!
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| Posted 5/17/11 7:11 PM |
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BigSmooch
LIF Adolescent
Member since 12/10 747 total posts
Name:
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Re: Hello
Posted by PrincessP
Hey!
That actually freaked me out when you said 6 months since the miscarriage knowing we had it the same week or so. I cant believe it bc it still feels like yesterday. I am sorry that you are feeling like its not working for you right now but many do not get preggo the first time. I waited 6 months with dd #1 which felt like a lifetime. (we wanted a honeymoon baby). Trust me, when you least expect it, it will happen. Lots of luck to you!
I know, I can't believe it has been that long. I feel like I lost so much time waiting those 3 months to try again. So even though it has only been 3 months of actual trying it feels like a total of 6 because for 3 months all I did was wait.
No baby after 6 months of losing one/wanting one sucks. I can't believe I'd be due in 8 weeks :(
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| Posted 5/18/11 1:38 PM |
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BigSmooch
LIF Adolescent
Member since 12/10 747 total posts
Name:
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Re: Hello
Posted by PennyCat
I hate to see someone worried about getting/staying pregnant. That's me .. and to the point where I'm so scared out of my mind of being pregnant again that I just don't know how I'm going to handle it.
Actually, a quick story for you...
When I found out I was pregnant last time, I was really nervous. In fact, when I found out I had a doubling beta, I showed up at the train station to pick up my very excited DH (he knew about the doubling beta from when I called to tell him) and I had tears POURING down my face!! He asked what was wrong . I told him I was just so afraid of having another loss. I never imagined being so emotional but since my first loss at 17wks and then the chemical, I was more scared than excited. He told me we have every reason to believe that time was going to work...... and it did...... until my appt at nearly 8wks where we found out NONE of the three hearts were beating.
I just don't know how I'm going to do it next time... but I know I just don't have a choice. I guess the point of this is just to show you you're not alone .. and just like you're scared you won't be able to stay pregnant, there are so many of us who are scared right along with you.
One piece of advice I will say .. even though you've had just one loss... is maybe you should set up a consult with an RE. I see Dr.Braverman (who by the way, specializes in multiple losses). He ran a whole panel where we found clotting issues that I'm treating with baby aspirin and injectable blood thinners. The losses, by the way, were total flukes and not related to the issues we were treating.
With so much that's beyond our control, it makes me feel good to at least know that I'm treating various issues and doing all I can to get pregnant and stay pregnant .. I just hope it happens one of these days.
Good luck!!
The fear we have is something only someone who has been through a loss can understand.
Nobody seems to understand my fears, not my mother, mother-in-law, sisters or friends but none of them have had a miscarriage so it is so easy for them to say "don't worry". They have no clue. These are the same people who tell me to "relax" about getting pregnant. Trying to get pregnant after a miscarriage is nothing like it was the first time around.
I did have a slew of tests done after the chromosome testing came back normal. I was tested for clotting and antibody/immune issues. I also had my mid luteal progesterone tested for a few cycles. Everything seemed to check out okay. I think these are the same tests Dr. B does?
The one thing I do remember was that at 5w6d my baby's heartbeat was in the low 90's. Maybe 91 bpm? I had a sono because I had some spotting the week prior. I wasn't told anything ominious by the tech but I did some research after the miscarriage (I had a missed miscarriage at 9 weeks, no heartbeat, it looked like the baby stopped developing between 7 and 8 weeks) and I found out that the bpm at my 5w6d sono wasn't very promising. Everything I found said a low heartbeat at 6 weeks will usually end in miscarriage. My guess is something must have gone wrong during the development and the pregnancy was doomed from the start. Maybe the chromosome testing was inaccurate? It came back as a normal female but my cells could have contaminated the sample. I was tested for everything else just in case the results from the chromosome testing were accurate because my doctor didn't want to miss anything. So I don't know why my loss happened all I do know is that it probably wasn't any clotting/immune/progesterone issues.
Good luck to you too! It HAS to happen for us. I believe if we all want it we will be mothers some day :)
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| Posted 5/18/11 1:57 PM |
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PrincessP
Big sister!!!!!!!!!!
Member since 12/05 17450 total posts
Name:
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Re: Hello
Posted by PennyCat
I hate to see someone worried about getting/staying pregnant. That's me .. and to the point where I'm so scared out of my mind of being pregnant again that I just don't know how I'm going to handle it.
Actually, a quick story for you...
When I found out I was pregnant last time, I was really nervous. In fact, when I found out I had a doubling beta, I showed up at the train station to pick up my very excited DH (he knew about the doubling beta from when I called to tell him) and I had tears POURING down my face!! He asked what was wrong . I told him I was just so afraid of having another loss. I never imagined being so emotional but since my first loss at 17wks and then the chemical, I was more scared than excited. He told me we have every reason to believe that time was going to work...... and it did...... until my appt at nearly 8wks where we found out NONE of the three hearts were beating.
I just don't know how I'm going to do it next time... but I know I just don't have a choice. I guess the point of this is just to show you you're not alone .. and just like you're scared you won't be able to stay pregnant, there are so many of us who are scared right along with you.
One piece of advice I will say .. even though you've had just one loss... is maybe you should set up a consult with an RE. I see Dr.Braverman (who by the way, specializes in multiple losses). He ran a whole panel where we found clotting issues that I'm treating with baby aspirin and injectable blood thinners. The losses, by the way, were total flukes and not related to the issues we were treating.
With so much that's beyond our control, it makes me feel good to at least know that I'm treating various issues and doing all I can to get pregnant and stay pregnant .. I just hope it happens one of these days.
Good luck!!
I could have written half of this bc I am currently in that boat. I have yet to fully enjoy my current pregnancy. I was fortunate enough to have my first and experience a "worryless" pregnancy. Since the miscarriage, I got preggo right away, cried on the appt hoping there was a baby, then on my 10 week appt went in crying bc I saw a spot of brown discharge which threw me over the edge thinking the baby was gone, then found out at 11 weeks I needed to check GD (didnt happen with 1st) bc my # was 5.9 vs 5.8 and under , then vitamin D came up 18 when it was supposed to be 30-100 (for me). Then at my 14 week appt couldnt get the NT done bc baby was sleeping upside down so I had to go to stonybrook. Clearly, as you can see bc of my last miscarriage this has been a HUGE ride. Everyday seems to be a please just get to 40 weeks. Experiencing a miscarriage just sux. It changes everything! I am so sorry that people didnt get to experience a worry free pregnancy bc like i said my first was a breeze. i will never have that again. I hope to see everyone on the pregnancy board
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| Posted 5/18/11 6:39 PM |
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Diana1215
Living on a prayer!!!
Member since 10/05 29450 total posts
Name:
Diana
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Re: Hello
Argh, you girls all have me crying right now.
It took me three months to conceive my first son, and six months to conceive my second son. Those were the LONGEST months of my life. I never thought it was going to happen. It did though, and I have two amazing little boys to show for it.
We weren't trying when we had the miscarriage. I thought this baby was my meant to be baby. THe baby I didn't have to plan for. I didn't have to worry about ovulation, worry about bd'ing on all the right days. I didn't have to take PreSeed or eat Barilla Pasta (I'm a crazy TTC'er - I know this)
I think that's why I was so shocked when I lost it. In my mind this child was SO meant to be (for lots of other reasons too)
I have to believe there is a reason for it. I have to believe that it takes a certain amount of time to conceive each child for a reason. I think about it - and had I conceived a month earlier with either boy I wouldn't have the two boys here with me that I do. They were made for a very specific reason, in a very specific time.
I still think about how far along I would have been right about now, the fact that I would have known the sex of the baby. I would have had so much planning done. The boys would have been excited to be big brothers. Everything would have been so different.
But, unfortunately, it is what it is. We dust ourselves off - because that's what we do. We move on. We cry, and laugh, and wonder about what might have been. But, I KNOW, in my heart of hearts, that each and every one of us will hold the child, that is meant to be ours on this earth, in our arms. It just may take a little bit longer than we want. I always knew that having a child was a miracle, I just think it became even more apparent to me after losing one, because it's honestly like losing a dream that we had in our reach. 
Message edited 5/18/2011 7:18:28 PM.
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| Posted 5/18/11 7:17 PM |
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