| Posted By |
Message |
Bri
I Love You to Pieces!
Member since 5/05 9919 total posts
Name:
Brianne
|
Help me understand . . . (clarification update)
1) Why one would want to get you something so bad that when you say someone else is already getting it for you, they try pushing getting you a second one, even when you flat out said you would not want or need a second one?
2) Why people want YOU to come up with something "special" that is not on the registry, even when there are plenty of options in their price range on the registry and even when you have suggested that everything you placed on the registry are things you want and need. I mean, was I supposed to come up with a regular registry and a special registry?
ETA clarification: Since I have baby brain, I did not clearly express why I am annoyed with this. It's because THEY want ME to come up with the something "special" that is not on my registry. If you want to get me something special that is not on my registry, why do I have to be the one to come up with this list of special things in addition to my registry list- am I making ANY sense?
I am super grateful of the intentions, but I just don't get it
Edited because baby brain leads to half finished, grammatically incorrect thoughts.
Message edited 4/7/2009 9:59:21 AM.
|
Posted 4/6/09 8:06 PM  |
| |
|
Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
Lizzy
Carson's Mama
Member since 2/08 2430 total posts
Name:
Elisabeth
|
Re: Help me understand . . .
I understand EXACTLY what you are saying!! My mom and MIL are in battle about who is buying us the jogging stroller... 
There is PLENTY on the registry ladies...
|
| Posted 4/6/09 8:08 PM |
| |
|
Shorty
.
Member since 5/05 30390 total posts
Name:
really
|
Re: Help me understand . . .
I hear you...
I'm still getting comments about someone being offended that my parents bought us the crib.
|
| Posted 4/6/09 8:31 PM |
| |
|
BnBdreamin
Gonna be a BIG Bro in April!
Member since 10/06 5913 total posts
Name:
Denise
|
Re: Help me understand . . .
I cannot help you understand #1 because I just do not get why they would want you to have two of something that you've said is not necessary (curious to know what it is now).
#2... my thoughts are, I'm welcoming of "special" gifts off the registery. But I do suppose it depends what they are. I'd love a special crocheted sweater/bootie/blanket set or handmade quilt or handcrafted heirloom rocking horse or sterling silver rattle/grooming set but if someone thinks the diaper genie and wipey warmer are "special" because they could not live without them and I've chosen to live without them, then that I wouldn't understand.
|
| Posted 4/6/09 9:57 PM |
| |
|
butterfly20
Party of 5 - 2015
Member since 4/06 7390 total posts
Name:
|
Re: Help me understand . . .
1. maybe they think you'll convince the other person not to get it so they can get it for you.
2.i could understand homemade blankets/sweaters or getting a gift off the registry and expanding it youself- like buying the tub then picking out hooded towels, baby shampoos, lotions etc... some people just dont do the registry. I'll admit I usually try and do part of each. sometimes there are things that people dont include on their registry that you just need.
|
| Posted 4/6/09 10:24 PM |
| |
|
|
|
Re: Help me understand . . .
|
| Posted 4/7/09 4:32 AM |
| |
|
BeachMom
Love my 4 kiddos!
Member since 11/08 8346 total posts
Name:
Kristie
|
Re: Help me understand . . .
ITA
|
| Posted 4/7/09 5:27 AM |
| |
|
CrankyPants
I'm cranky
Member since 7/06 18178 total posts
Name:
Mama Cranky
|
Re: Help me understand . . .
For the first one, I can't help you!
For the second situation, it depends on what you consider "special". I love personal, handmade or just really thoughtful gifts.
|
| Posted 4/7/09 9:06 AM |
| |
|
Bri
I Love You to Pieces!
Member since 5/05 9919 total posts
Name:
Brianne
|
Re: Help me understand . . .
1) It is another diaper bag, the type I want in a different pattern than is already being bought for me.
2) I appreciate anything "special" but being put on the spot to come up with something "special" I might want that is not on the registry is tough for me. I can't really think of anything "special". I feel like "special" gifts that are not on the registry are "special" because of the thought put into them and the surprise behind them.
The kicker is scenario 1 and 2 are the same person/people. So if you want to get me something special, what is so special about getting something that I am already getting from someone else- that is someone else's special gift to me?
I hope I don't sound unappreciative- I appreciate anything and everything people do for me. I just don't understand the pushiness and the pressure.
Message edited 4/7/2009 9:19:22 AM.
|
| Posted 4/7/09 9:18 AM |
| |
|
bellaluna
Baby come on out!
Member since 11/08 1934 total posts
Name:
Jess
|
Re: Help me understand . . .
The first one I can't help you with
The second , I am one of those people who likes to get a keepsake for a baby, and I usually get it from Tiffany's ....either a piggy bank, or an ingraved spoon or a silver rattle. This is usually for people I am close with AND in addition to something off the registry .
|
| Posted 4/7/09 9:49 AM |
| |
|
Gertyrae
Peace out Homies!
Member since 5/05 20046 total posts
Name:
Gerty ®
|
Re: Help me understand . . . (clarification update)
Okay...now that makes no sense.
If someone wants to get you something special - they should come up with the idea.
How special can it be if you tell them what you want - but didn't bother registering for...
|
| Posted 4/7/09 10:07 AM |
| |
|
Waste06
Waste not, want not
Member since 6/06 7219 total posts
Name:
Lois Mom Mommy Mama Ma
|
Re: Help me understand . . . (clarification update)
I don't know, but I think if I really wanted something special for my child, and it meant a lot to me for them to have it, then I'd just buy it myself, KWIM?
I'm assuming the person who wants to get you something special has good intentions, but the "special-ness" kind of gets lost when you specifically say "I want this".
Message edited 4/7/2009 10:21:07 AM.
|
| Posted 4/7/09 10:13 AM |
| |
|
nrthshgrl
It goes fast. Pay attention.
Member since 7/05 57538 total posts
Name:
|
Re: Help me understand . . . (clarification update)
Pushing you to get a second item is silly. It's one thing if they're saying something like "you really should get 2 bases for your infant car seat because it's easier" or you need an infant car seat & a convertible one - because that's something a new mom may not realize makes life a whole lot easier later on.
As for the special gift...the entire list of things you compiled, researched to death & selected isn't special enough? If they want to get you something special, they should come up with it themselves - after all it's the thought that counts. Other than that, I'd say paying for college is special.
|
| Posted 4/7/09 10:16 AM |
| |
|
BnBdreamin
Gonna be a BIG Bro in April!
Member since 10/06 5913 total posts
Name:
Denise
|
Re: Help me understand . . . (clarification update)
Posted by Bri
1) It is another diaper bag, the type I want in a different pattern than is already being bought for me.
2) I appreciate anything "special" but being put on the spot to come up with something "special" I might want that is not on the registry is tough for me. I can't really think of anything "special". I feel like "special" gifts that are not on the registry are "special" because of the thought put into them and the surprise behind them.
The kicker is scenario 1 and 2 are the same person/people. So if you want to get me something special, what is so special about getting something that I am already getting from someone else- that is someone else's special gift to me?
I hope I don't sound unappreciative- I appreciate anything and everything people do for me. I just don't understand the pushiness and the pressure.
Okay... I'm going to reply again after your clarification! Thanks for revealing the gift (now I'm curious as to where on the family tree this person is  You know there's like a sister level where you can smack upside the head and say leave me alone, figure it out yourself and then there's the sweet Great Aunt who just wants to be kind so you go about it gingerly level). That the two are the same person/same request....????
#1... Just got done reading/skimming the Baby Bargains book and yes they do suggest two diaper bags but not the same one! I would think the second would be a smaller short trip bag or a sporty backpacky daddy like bag (I have enough bags in my life that I do not need more than one specifically labeled "diaper" bag). Not two of the same bag in a different pattern... which leads into...
#2... How "special" is that, like you said (or someone else), to get you something someone else is already getting you in a pattern that was not your choice. As well as how "special" is a gift if they are asking you for suggestions. Yes, part of me understands where they may be coming from whereas should someone ask me that question, my top off registry "special" responses would be 1. the diaper bag (it's out to my sisters, my choice of VB bag and pattern so it's in their hands so there's no need to put the world on diaper bag duty). 2. A Hotsling baby carrier (I wanted it, I'm larger so I needed a custom size so I ordered it myself). and 3. Slip Free hangers from HSN.com (I'm ordering those as well for myself because I want to get my closet sorted and set up with the few things I have already). So really, anyone will have to come up with "special" on their own. If you know me, you know what I'd like, without asking. That's what's "special". So really, my response would be, Surprise me!
I really do not like to "ask" for gifts. Sure I've registered but that's because that's what you do (that's what "they" made me do!). I still found/find it a bit awkward and do not find it easy to talk to people about. I only told my sisters about the diaper bag because I'd mentioned that's the bag I'd choose if I had a baby two years ago when my sister got one so they've been asking me to choose a pattern!
I totally understand and trust that you are a grateful person. Generally, we all are but yes these topics do come up and it's nice to discuss them amongst peers! Sorry you have this silly goose bringing you to chat about such things. I do hope they do not hound you and do end up giving you something "special" that you can treasure and not just for their gratification of "paying for the big salad" (Seinfeld reference). 
ETA: Holy cr@p on a cracker! I talk a lot!!!
Message edited 4/7/2009 11:07:17 AM.
|
| Posted 4/7/09 11:06 AM |
| |
|
CrankyPants
I'm cranky
Member since 7/06 18178 total posts
Name:
Mama Cranky
|
Re: Help me understand . . . (clarification update)
Posted by Gertyrae
Okay...now that makes no sense.
If someone wants to get you something special - they should come up with the idea.
How special can it be if you tell them what you want - but didn't bother registering for...
I agree completely!
|
| Posted 4/7/09 11:13 AM |
| |
|
bellaluna
Baby come on out!
Member since 11/08 1934 total posts
Name:
Jess
|
Re: Help me understand . . . (clarification update)
Now I understand why you are annoyed! You shouldn't have to think of something special , the person who wants to get it for you should think of what they want to get. I agree that it totally looks like you would be asking for something, which I would not be comfortable doing.
I would say Surprise me if you really want to get something special and leave it at that.
|
| Posted 4/7/09 11:21 AM |
| |
|
sj-girl
Happy Family of 4
Member since 5/08 5654 total posts
Name:
|
Re: Help me understand . . . (clarification update)
Posted by Shorty
I hear you...
I'm still getting comments about someone being offended that my parents bought us the crib.
why are they offended, my parents want to buy the crib too
|
| Posted 4/7/09 12:07 PM |
| |
|
Gina674
I'm In Love!!!
Member since 5/05 1189 total posts
Name:
Gina
|
Re: Help me understand . . . (clarification update)
Are you talking about MY MOM!!!!!
|
| Posted 4/7/09 12:26 PM |
| |
|
