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How can I help?

Posted By Message

MrsTeachMe
LIF Toddler

Member since 1/08

439 total posts

Name:

How can I help?

I am usually on the TTC board, but I just found out that a friend of mine had a miscarriage. I feel so bad. I know it takes time, but I hear the sadness in her voice and I was wondering what I can do to help her get through this. Chat Icon

Posted 11/8/08 1:32 PM
 

IrishLasss334
I'll be there soon!

Member since 1/08

6549 total posts

Name:
Patty

Re: How can I help?

You are so sweet to ask, I wish more of my friends had asked or thought about what they would say before they did. Don't say things like "you will have another one", "it wasn't meant to be", etc. I hated hearing those things and everyone I know who m/c did too, b/c I wanted THIS one.

Tell you are there for her if she needs to talk and even if she doesn't, if she needs you to distract her and talk about anything else but the m/c. She has suffered a loss like any other and it will take time to deal with it.

You are a very good friend.Chat Icon

Posted 11/8/08 4:06 PM
 

MrsMessina
Thankful for our miracles!

Member since 2/07

7254 total posts

Name:

Re: How can I help?

I agree. You're a very caring friend to want to take that next step. Chat Icon Chat Icon A lot of people want to avoid the situation all together, almost like pretending it didn't happen b/c they don't know what to say.
I think the best thing you can say to her is I'm sorry, and I'm here for you if and when you want to talk. Chat Icon Just let her know that you're there- unfortunately there's not more you can do. Chat Icon She's going to have to go thru the motions- and it sucks.
Maybe tell her about this board so if she wants to reach out to others going thru it, she can. Sometimes it helps to know that you're not alone and it's not your fault, KWIM? Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon

Posted 11/8/08 4:25 PM
 

when
Maybe this time?

Member since 7/07

1761 total posts

Name:

Re: How can I help?

I wouldn't say anything about it unless she brings it up....and just be there for her and taker her out for a mani/pedi.

Posted 11/8/08 8:09 PM
 

IrishLasss334
I'll be there soon!

Member since 1/08

6549 total posts

Name:
Patty

Re: How can I help?

Posted by when

I wouldn't say anything about it unless she brings it up....and just be there for her and taker her out for a mani/pedi.



Not so sure I agree with this, i completely understand where the pp is coming from, but ignoring it may make her think that you aren't sympathetic or interested in her loss. That's how I felt. If you briefly mention that you are sorry for her loss and that you are there for her when and if she needs to talk, and that you aren't going to push. After that, let her take the lead on discussing her feelings.

Posted 11/9/08 12:09 AM
 
 
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