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MrsRbk
<3 <3 <3 <3
Member since 1/06 19197 total posts
Name:
Michelle
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How do you deal when you have reached your breaking point?
DD is testing me BIG time these days (those of you I'm friends with on FB saw a picture of what today has been like!) And I have a 5 week old that refuses to be put down (I'm still trying to figure out the Moby Wrap!).
DH has been out of town since Sunday and won't be home until tomorrow night.
I need a break... a BIG break, sometihng longer than just being able to run to the store to do a quick errand. I do have help right now as we have a baby nurse for another few weeks, but she is just here for the baby and is generally "off" in the mornings/and early afternoons. My MIL comes once a week to help out, which works out to be on one of the days the baby nurse is off and not here. But is just a,n extra pair of hands, she is not comfortable being left alone with both kids right now, so I can get out for some "me" time.
I feel like today I have really reached the end of my rope. As awful as it sounds, I really need some time away from my kids , even if it's just for a couple of hours.
I'm seriously 2nd guessing my decision to be a SAHM, but at the same time, know I don't want to go back to work.
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Posted 9/22/10 1:42 PM  |
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Long Island Weddings
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carlowlou
loving my babies!
Member since 4/08 4594 total posts
Name:
Jen
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Re: How do you deal when you have reached your breaking point?
 Hang in there! Hopefull when DH gets home he can give you a big chunk of this weekend to yourself. You are doing great...even if you dont feel like you are!
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| Posted 9/22/10 1:46 PM |
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MikesWife
Wanting...........
Member since 1/06 6887 total posts
Name:
Karen
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Re: How do you deal when you have reached your breaking point?
Just try and remember that the days are long, but the years are short and it won't be like this forever.
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| Posted 9/22/10 1:47 PM |
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LSP2005
Bunny kisses are so cute!
Member since 5/05 19458 total posts
Name:
L
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Re: How do you deal when you have reached your breaking point?
 Those first few weeks are really hard. Can you get a babysitter for your older DC and leave the newborn with the baby nurse so you can get out for a massage? Are you in NJ? If you want to meet up at the Zoo with the kids that could be fun?
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| Posted 9/22/10 1:49 PM |
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julz33
i run for bacon
Member since 5/05 20584 total posts
Name:
julz
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Re: How do you deal when you have reached your breaking point?
It WILL get easier! Right now everyone is adjusting. It may take a few months but keep reminding yourself this is just temporary and things will get better.
I know I've said it before and may sound like a broken record but get out of the house! Just go to a local parkand let your DD run around and use some of that energy. Go right after the baby eats so hope fully he will sleep in the stroller (or in your arms) and get some fresh air. Being cooped up in the house all day makes me go crazy. Just an hour out makes a big difference.
Can you sign your daughter up for a nursery school, they have 2 year old programs 2-3 morning per week... that may help you?
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| Posted 9/22/10 1:49 PM |
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monkeybride
My Everything
Member since 5/05 20541 total posts
Name:
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Re: How do you deal when you have reached your breaking point?
Honestly you just somehow figure it out. Talk yourself through it. Remind yourself it's not forever.
I would say take full advantage of the help you do have. I survived with no help and my son was a nightmare! Couldn't be put down, screamed all the time and didn't sleep at night so I was often running on 2-3 hours of sleep.
Try to help your DD feel helpful.
It sounds terrible but TV, lots of TV...LOL.
You can't be supermom right now. Just do the best you can.
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| Posted 9/22/10 1:49 PM |
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Diana1215
Living on a prayer!!!
Member since 10/05 29450 total posts
Name:
Diana
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Re: How do you deal when you have reached your breaking point?
Can you get a double nap for the two of them. That was my only saving grace early on.
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| Posted 9/22/10 1:52 PM |
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CathyB
Member since 5/05 19403 total posts
Name:
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Re: How do you deal when you have reached your breaking point?
When I had days like that I would focus on small things so that I wasn't fixated on how much longer the day was going to be. Like "Only 15 mintues until lunch. One hour to nap. I can do this."
And I would put on the tv to keep DD occupied that day so that I felt less stress. Not my best moment, but her watching Nick Jr all day one day didn't kill her.
A good cry helped me, can you leave them with the baby nurse for a bit and take a long bath or shower?
It's really nice out today, can you take them out back and let your older one run around and just sit out there with the baby (or better yet, leave the baby with the nurse for a bit?)
I know it's not ideal, but you will get through it. Some days are absolutely brutal, but it does get easier.
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| Posted 9/22/10 1:59 PM |
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MrsRbk
<3 <3 <3 <3
Member since 1/06 19197 total posts
Name:
Michelle
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Re: How do you deal when you have reached your breaking point?
Posted by Diana1215
Can you get a double nap for the two of them. That was my only saving grace early on.
I'm TRYING for that, but DS will not sleep if I am not holding him. He also eats on demand, so it's hard to have a double nap time as more often than not, he is looking for a bottle once DD is down for her afternoon nap. By the time I'm done feeding and burping him and trying to get him to sleep, DD is waking up from her nap.
I do get out with DD in the morning when the baby is still sleeping which does help. But she has been having one long temper tantrum today and I'm literally at the end of my rope. She is finally napping, but the baby is not (typing one handed!)
LSP - Yes, I'm in NJ, I actually live 2 minutes from the zoo too ,would love to meet up one day once I figure out how to get both of them out of the house on my own!
Right now, I do have DD in daycare still 2 days a week for part of the day (we decided to keep to her pre new baby routine), and I take her to My Gym on Friday's. It's just her tantrums lately are out of control, so between her tantrums and the baby never wanting to be put down.
It's just been a bad week with DH out of town.
Thanks everyone for letting me complain!
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| Posted 9/22/10 2:00 PM |
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computergirl
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 3118 total posts
Name:
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Re: How do you deal when you have reached your breaking point?
I would say, just take it one day at a time. Just take a deep breath and say "this too shall pass", because it really does. The first 2 or 3 months with a newborn and an older child in the mix are NO indication of what life with two kids, or life as a SAHM, is really like. It's like this terrible boot camp you just have to gut out and get through. It truly gets better... the older child will start having fewer tantrums, the newborn will become less fussy. You just have to survive this time.
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| Posted 9/22/10 2:13 PM |
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MrsPowers
So blessed!
Member since 11/06 10348 total posts
Name:
Ivelysse
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Re: How do you deal when you have reached your breaking point?
Oh Michelle, I so wish we lived closer. I would come over after work and take DD out. :( I am here for whatever you need.
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| Posted 9/22/10 3:45 PM |
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Porrruss
Nya nya nya
Member since 5/05 11618 total posts
Name:
Amy
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Re: How do you deal when you have reached your breaking point?
We just came through those weeds- DS is now 9weeks old and finally allowing me to put him down. The Bjorn has become my best friend- so much so that I bought another one so I have one in the car for outings and one in the house.
I have 2 toddlers who have now become very aquainted with ONDemand and the DVR. Dora, Sesame, Yo gabba, and the Toy Story movies are now my best friend. There is no shame in being in PJs all day eating cereal and watching the tube.
Here's the deal..... stop trying to "do" anything and just keep em fed. At 5weeks PP your only job is to keep em fed, heinies cleaned, and alive.
I've been running on fumes for 9 weeks- DS is eating every 2.5 hours around the clock and it's all on me as well. 4 weeks ago I was really feeling like I wanted to take a hot poker to the eyes. Now it's getting better and I'm seeing the light at the end of the tunnel.
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| Posted 9/22/10 4:13 PM |
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casey31
Mommy of 3!
Member since 5/05 2967 total posts
Name:
Mommy to two boys and a girl
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Re: How do you deal when you have reached your breaking point?
Posted by computergirl
I would say, just take it one day at a time. Just take a deep breath and say "this too shall pass", because it really does. The first 2 or 3 months with a newborn and an older child in the mix are NO indication of what life with two kids, or life as a SAHM, is really like. It's like this terrible boot camp you just have to gut out and get through. It truly gets better... the older child will start having fewer tantrums, the newborn will become less fussy. You just have to survive this time.
I totally agree- mine were 16 months apart and the first three months were pure survival. SOMEHOW, i don't know how, it all fell into place. The Bjorn saved my life. DD lived in the Bjorn- its how we went to the playground and I also recognized her nap patterns closely and I got them napping in the afternoon together- they still do, till this day!
Maybe a friend can come over to help you with the Moby wrap- I bet it will make a big difference to have your hands free!
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| Posted 9/22/10 4:16 PM |
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pickles16
Real Estate Professional
Member since 11/07 17227 total posts
Name:
Jen
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Re: How do you deal when you have reached your breaking point?
Ugh Michelle, reading ur post makes me literally want to go out there and babysit for you...at least Chels and Samantha could occupy each other!!!!
I've had days with Chels that have been torturous and felt the same way as you so I can't even imagine it with two!!!
Can u put Samantha into daycare for a day and have the baby nurse there for the baby so you can go out and just relax???
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| Posted 9/22/10 4:34 PM |
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Bops
My 3 wishes
Member since 12/07 13625 total posts
Name:
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Re: How do you deal when you have reached your breaking point?
Honestly, as ridiculous as it was to do....What got me through days like that were putting my 2 in the car and taking a drive (they both were great car sleepers)
I would hit up a far away Starbucks, get myself a mocha latte, make a few phone calls while they were asleep, or just enjoy the silence...
It costed me a few bucks in gas, and a few miles on my truck but it definately got me through those "wanna pull my hair out" days
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| Posted 9/22/10 4:56 PM |
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SweetTooth
I'm a tired mommy!
Member since 12/05 20105 total posts
Name:
Lauren
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Re: How do you deal when you have reached your breaking point?
Posted by Bops
Honestly, as ridiculous as it was to do....What got me through days like that were putting my 2 in the car and taking a drive (they both were great car sleepers)
I would hit up a far away Starbucks, get myself a mocha latte, make a few phone calls while they were asleep, or just enjoy the silence...
It costed me a few bucks in gas, and a few miles on my truck but it definately got me through those "wanna pull my hair out" days
I used to do this too. One time I drove all the way into the city to pick up DH from work!
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| Posted 9/22/10 4:58 PM |
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JennZ
MY LIFE!!
Member since 8/05 25463 total posts
Name:
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Re: How do you deal when you have reached your breaking point?
Michelle aside from the extra baby i can completely relate. I wish you lived closer. I would have taken them for you.
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| Posted 9/22/10 5:02 PM |
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CookiePuss
Cake from Outer Space!
Member since 5/05 14021 total posts
Name:
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Re: How do you deal when you have reached your breaking point?
Posted by julz33
It WILL get easier! Right now everyone is adjusting. It may take a few months but keep reminding yourself this is just temporary and things will get better.
I know I've said it before and may sound like a broken record but get out of the house! Just go to a local parkand let your DD run around and use some of that energy. Go right after the baby eats so hope fully he will sleep in the stroller (or in your arms) and get some fresh air. Being cooped up in the house all day makes me go crazy. Just an hour out makes a big difference.
Can you sign your daughter up for a nursery school, they have 2 year old programs 2-3 morning per week... that may help you?
I'm with Julie...get out of the house. Mine were 20 months apart and I was out of the house within a week. It helped make the day go faster and helped to get me more organized. Sure, sometimes I thought to myself...why the heck am I even leaving the house but it did help.
Also, can you have the baby nurse not work an overnight and take a morning and/or afternoon? That way you can get out even if it's to sit in the car for an hour with a cup of coffee.
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| Posted 9/22/10 7:24 PM |
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SpencersMommy
I'm one lucky girl
Member since 11/07 3494 total posts
Name:
Melanie
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Re: How do you deal when you have reached your breaking point?
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| Posted 9/22/10 7:29 PM |
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ME75
Member since 10/06 4563 total posts
Name:
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Re: How do you deal when you have reached your breaking point?
oh boy i had SOOO many days like you just described in the beginning after having my 2nd. the beginning weeks suck so bad. just repeat over and over that this period WILL END and do not 2nd guess your decision to stay home. i couldn't wait to go back to work...especially then! now that DS and DD are over 1 yrs old and 3 i would kill to be home!!! it is SOOO much easier when they are older. some might disagree but i was not a fan of taking care of neworn and a 2 yr old and didn't feel "stable" until they were a bit older.
hang in there!!!!
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| Posted 9/22/10 7:30 PM |
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TaraHutch
True beauty
Member since 10/07 9888 total posts
Name:
Tara
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Re: How do you deal when you have reached your breaking point?
Michelle, we don't live too far from each other...PLEASE don't forget that!! I know I'm not much help during the week, but even weekends- let me know what I can do! I'm so very sorry!!!
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| Posted 9/22/10 7:58 PM |
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Re: How do you deal when you have reached your breaking point?
It stinks but it really is such a short time. I only have one and I remember between the screaming and the constant need to be held I was losing my mind. But every day it got better. There still are bad days but as they get out of that newborn stage I bet it will get a little easier. I agree with the suggestion to leave the house with the kids-fresh air makes a load of difference.
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| Posted 9/22/10 8:01 PM |
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MrsRbk
<3 <3 <3 <3
Member since 1/06 19197 total posts
Name:
Michelle
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Re: How do you deal when you have reached your breaking point?
Once again, thank you everybody!
So, after DD's nap and after DS had a bottle, I put them both in the car, and ventured out with the double stroller in tow and went to the mall...
A little ambitious.....
DS SCREAMED the entire drive there, DD threw a tantrum 5 minutes after getting to the mall, while DS continued to scream....
Needless to say, I turned around and came home....
Thankfully tomorrow is a daycare day (ugh, I even hate to say "thankfully"), and THANK G-D DH will be home tomorrow night!!!
I joined a local Mom's Group here in the town I live in so I'm really hoping to meet some local moms with kids similar ages.
I KNOW it will get better, I do know it. I know this is really just a short period of time in the grand scheme of things and I just hate all the complaining I'm doing lately.
I just keep telling myself over and over, we WANTED this. Both kids were very much planned and conceived via IVF, we went through alot to have this family, so I just keep telling myself that!
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| Posted 9/22/10 8:35 PM |
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Merf99
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 3380 total posts
Name:
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Re: How do you deal when you have reached your breaking point?
It is such a HUGE adjustment having two! it really is. I hope tomorrow is better. What are your baby nurse's hours? When dd is in daycare can she watch the baby and you get out for a few hours? It will pass!
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| Posted 9/22/10 8:40 PM |
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AnnBrunoXO
2 Girls For Me!
Member since 5/05 4377 total posts
Name:
MaMMa
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Re: How do you deal when you have reached your breaking point?
It really is a huge adjustment - my DD was 20 months old when my second arrived and the first couple of weeks /months were not easy. It does get Easier though - i promise!
I definitely recommend what the OP said - GET out of the house - go to a local park, just go for a walk, a friends/relative's home for an hour - take advantage of the beautiful weather.
Getting out was my saving grace - my DD enjoyed running around in the park or just going for a good old walk. Fresh Air is good for mommy and baby.
I also agree with looking into a gymborree, mommy and me class for your DD - somewhere were she can release her energy and have a good time. You will also get to meet new mommies and make more friends.
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| Posted 9/22/10 8:52 PM |
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