how do you discipline your DC when all the other kids are doing it and moms are right there...

examples:

at our house i will not tolerate jumping on beds, especially MINE. we have sharp corners and i just don't dig it. my house, my rules - right? one of DD's friends has very little limits and is allowed to do this at her place, but here it's a no go. what to do at someone elses house where that is allowed but i just don't find it appropriate? let it happen?

outside at the park yesterday, DD's friends were climbing on, and then jumping off picnic tables. i got around it by saying "XXXX is older, please don't do that DD", BUT what if her friend's brother was not there and the friend was doing this while her mom and i are chatting?

where do you draw the line of being crazy overprotective psycho mom, and how do you explain to DC that it may be okay for her friend to do certain things but not okay that she/he do it if not at home (there i just use "my house, my rules")?

thanks!

Re: how do you discipline your DC when all the other kids are doing it and moms are right there...

I just tell them that our rules apply everywhere, whether we are at home, at another house or out in public. My son has a friend whose mom is very laid back about jumping on furnture and the first time this friend came over to our house, he was jumping all over the place. I put a stop to it and if we are at a playdate at their house and their kids are jumping off the coffee table, I still discipline my kids and say "that is not how we use the furniture". Other people can let their kids do what they want, and I don't really pay attention to what other moms might think about me enforcing our household rules when we are out and about.

Message edited 3/25/2010 10:02:18 AM.

Re: how do you discipline your DC when all the other kids are doing it and moms are right there...

I let my kids jump on my bed b/c it is fun. DS is 2 1/2 and DD is almost 6 months. I can understand why you would not want your kids to do it. I would not let them jump on a bed that has sharp corners b/c that is not safe. I would also not let them jump off of a table. There will be a point when they are to big to jump on the bed, but for now, I am ok with it.

Jumping is fun. I would try to redirect their energy. How about a jumping contest (on the floor)? I.e. How high can you jump? How many jumps in a row can you do? Can you jump over this line?

ETA: I would not be happy if my kids or any kids jumped on any other furniture. I would put a stop to that by saying we don't do that in our house.

Message edited 3/25/2010 10:03:17 AM.

Re: how do you discipline your DC when all the other kids are doing it and moms are right there...

I just tell Eddie, that even though other kids can do it, we have our own family rules and each family has different rules.

Re: how do you discipline your DC when all the other kids are doing it and moms are right there...

I tell my DD that doing X is not okay and that just b/c another child is doing X does not make it okay for DD to do X.

I have this issue b/c DD gets pushed around b/c she is smaller than others so I tell her pushing is not okay then some kid comes and shoves or hits her. I just explain that pushing or hitting is not nice and that DD is a nice and that we shouldn't do things to others that she does not want done to her.

It is hard b/c I know she doesn't always understand why others can do what i tell her no to but I just stick w/ our rules and I know it will connect.

Re: how do you discipline your DC when all the other kids are doing it and moms are right there...

I explain that their mom may have different rules.

Re: how do you discipline your DC when all the other kids are doing it and moms are right there...

thanks everyone, great way of putting things