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how hard is it really?

Posted By Message

MEWF
LIF Adolescent

Member since 4/07

503 total posts

Name:
M

how hard is it really?

so my tiwns are on their way. Dr expects them early- around memorial day. some people are scaring me with how much work it will be. i know and have always know babies arent easy and a job in an office is usually "easier" but i thikn deep down i am meant to be a mom and will be able to handle it. am i crazy? is it really that hard? can anyone tell me what the day to day will be like?
i am having a c section. i am getting a baby nurse for 1-2 weeks. i will take 4 months off and then work for 3.5 months to finish the year & get a bonus etc then will be a SAHM. this has been what i always wanted but im a little worried about handleign it all. my husband is great. when he is not workign he will do a lot. i have no doubt and his hours arent usually excessive so he is around more than a lot of other husbnads i know but can anyone tell me what to expect?
thanks

Posted 1/3/08 11:55 AM
 
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Michelle
My Little Yankee Fans

Member since 1/06

4018 total posts

Name:

Re: how hard is it really?

It is hard, but not 1/2 as hard as people make it out to be.

I was terrified that I was not going to be able to do it, and not once have I felt that way since they were born.

If you don't have a child before twins you don't know any better Chat Icon

Posted 1/3/08 11:57 AM
 

pinky
Twin Moms Do Everything Twice

Member since 5/05

9612 total posts

Name:

Re: how hard is it really?

People scared me to death about how much work it would be having twins. It is not half as hard as they make it out to be. Yes, it is hard work but nothing that is not manageable.

You will be fine Chat Icon

Posted 1/3/08 12:15 PM
 

Diane
Hope is Contagious....catch it

Member since 5/05

30683 total posts

Name:
D

Re: how hard is it really?



If you don't have a child before twins you don't know any better Chat Icon

TOTAlly agree with this statement.

I am not going to lie, the first 3 months I think were the most difficult months. If you have help....TAKE it, and the key is to get those twins on a schedule the minute you get home from the hospital. I freaked out towards the end, but I have to say...I HIGHLY recommend reading 'Ready of Not Here We Come". She really made me feel more calm about what we were in for.
Chat Icon

Posted 1/3/08 12:17 PM
 

AlohaMa
Never Forget

Member since 2/06

2735 total posts

Name:
Jen

Re: how hard is it really?

It is hard work but definitely manageable. Like anything else, there are good days and bad but the joy they bring far outweighs the difficult times. It's the most rewarding job you'll ever have. Chat Icon

Posted 1/3/08 12:19 PM
 

BigB
C & J are 10!

Member since 6/05

5914 total posts

Name:
Stacey

Re: how hard is it really?

It is hard....I will not lie or sugar coat it! It is the hardest job I have ever had and I work for the DOE!

I think the most important thing is to take help when it is offered! I thought I was super woman and refused a lot of help...then when I needed it, nobody was offering! My mom has been wonderful and I am so lucky to have her!

It is really important to get them on a feed-sleep schedule! And you need to join them on that schedule as well!

3 months into this insanity, I cannot imagine life any other way!!!!!!

Posted 1/3/08 12:22 PM
 

halisa
adore

Member since 7/06

2168 total posts

Name:
lisa

Re: how hard is it really?

Posted by AlohaMa

It is hard work but definitely manageable. Like anything else, there are good days and bad but the joy they bring far outweighs the difficult times. It's the most rewarding job you'll ever have. Chat Icon



totally agree!!

the beginning is kinda surreal. you can't believe you have these two little babies home with you. try to line up people you can count on for help. for me, my family was a lifesaver. they would come over with food which is a major help. they would also hold the babies and let me take a shower. i was ebf which can be a lot of work, but my dh was amazing. he did most of everything else. my dh got a long paternity leave from work-which was awesome. can your dh take off? this way you can get in a groove together!

you will do it and i'm sure do it great!! Chat Icon

Posted 1/3/08 12:28 PM
 

Tracey
***********

Member since 5/05

6297 total posts

Name:
Tracey - brideinapril

Re: how hard is it really?

You know what? You just do it - don't be scared at what people are telling you - how could anyone possibly know how it is if they don't have multiples themselves. AS long as you have help in the beginning which it sounds like you do - you will be fine. Don't lose your confidence.

Yes - you will be sleep deprived - but you know what? you will find the stength to muster up and keep going.

And its true that you won't know the difference if you haven't had a singleton before - which for me was way harder than having my twins for some reason, maybe because I had know help and he never slept!!!

Anyway - don't listen to what people say - as they can scare the cr@p out of you.


Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon

Posted 1/3/08 1:46 PM
 

MEWF
LIF Adolescent

Member since 4/07

503 total posts

Name:
M

Re: how hard is it really?

thank you all. you are the ones doing it and have helped me remember i too can do it.

yes dh gets 2 weeks for having babies and will use most of it while im working. when i take those 3.5 months back at work i wil have my MIL, mom and then there is a small gap which dh will try to cover. butbetween vacation and paternity he should also be able to take several days when the babies first come. i have a 15 yr old sister who i imagine will be helpful as well.

some days im thrilled- this is what i have always wanted. other days i wish i could have 2 nannys! not b.c i dont want to take care of my babies but b.c i want to know if i need to shower or sleep both babies will be attended to. if im going to be a SAHM home i will not have paid baby help aside from maybe a monthly cleaning service to just help a little. its scary and overwhelming at times but mostly exciting.

thanks for your responses!

Posted 1/3/08 3:08 PM
 

TwinMama
Love my little ladies

Member since 2/06

1225 total posts

Name:
Stephanie

Re: how hard is it really?

I would say it's hard..very hard but like anything else you do it and it's also tons of fun. The 1st couple of months are the hardest.

Suggestions to make your life easier

Cleaning people

stock up on food because going food shopping is very difficult with the twins.

Start looking for a babysitter for those Sat nights when you need a break (very important)

Also sign up for classes with the babies. Music class, twin programs..make sure you get out of the house as much as you can. Have friends come over.

Posted 1/3/08 7:03 PM
 

burberrygirl
so happy!!

Member since 1/07

2091 total posts

Name:
Mommy

Re: how hard is it really?

Yes it is challenging, but the good outweighs the bad times. It is wonderful! don't listen to people.

Posted 1/3/08 9:06 PM
 

MelissaMac
Life is Good

Member since 6/06

2135 total posts

Name:
Melissa

Re: how hard is it really?

I am so happy that I had twins. I can't imagine what one baby would be like. fun. Yes your exhausted for the first 3 months, but once they start sleeping the night and napping on schedule at the same time. Life is goodChat Icon

Posted 1/4/08 10:11 PM
 

IrishTracy
Believe!!

Member since 5/05

15167 total posts

Name:
Tracy

Re: how hard is it really?

As the rest of the ladies say 3 months is usually the point where you wake up & realize you finally got the routine down.

I'm sure if you search you will read plenty of posts with the things family/strangers have said to all of us that either got us worried or just plain pi$sed off.

The best advice is sleep when they sleep & accept help when offered. The house will get cleaned don't worry about it. Don't be afraid to hand the kids over to the hubby.

You will do great. Chat Icon

Posted 1/5/08 8:11 AM
 

FireIslandLove

Member since 5/05

12119 total posts

Name:

Re: how hard is it really?

Posted by Michelle

If you don't have a child before twins you don't know any better Chat Icon



DH and I always say this! For people to tell a soon-to-be mom of twins how "hard" it is reminds me of the stupid people who used to come up to me in the mall and sit next to me to watch me feed DDs. One woman said I was always curious how you feed twins. My response, "You feed one. Then you feed the other." Chat Icon Chat Icon DUH! So it's all relative. After a few weeks with your twins you will of course hit a rough day or two, but when it comes down to it as long as you are organized and calm, and DH and you are patient with one another, you will get into a routine and figure things out. Don't let anyone try and scare you. Look at all the BTDT responses here - we all seem to be doing ok. Chat Icon Chat Icon

Posted 1/6/08 3:03 PM
 

Ali1
Mommy

Member since 8/05

3116 total posts

Name:

Re: how hard is it really?

The first three months for me were really hard and exhausting. I got through it with the motto of don't think about anything further down the road then the day you were in. That made it easier. I would not focus on what the next day would be like or the next week. It's the only way I got through those first few months. Once they started sleeping through the night and naps, it got a lot easier. Now I think it's pretty easy actually. There's still two of them and that makes a lot of things harder to do with them, but I also get double the love and double the fun...so I really can't complain too much!

Posted 1/6/08 4:24 PM
 

MEWF
LIF Adolescent

Member since 4/07

503 total posts

Name:
M

Re: how hard is it really?

thanks all!

Posted 1/7/08 1:07 PM
 
 

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