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Re: How often do you eat dinner as a family.
Posted by Hofstra26
Posted by windyweather21
Posted by lululu
Posted by Hofstra26
Posted by PitterPatter11
Posted by lululu
Wow! I am shocked at the answers. We seem to be running all over the place with sports and activities, it would be pretty much impossible to sit down for dinner most nights. The only time we were able to consistently have dinner together was when we were on lockdown and I feel like I gained so much weight because of it!
Really? Most people I know eat dinner together most nights. Even when we are busy, we just rearrange dinner time to eat together. This week, my DS has soccer camp 6-8 and we have ate dinner together every night. My mom had 5 kids with activities and we always ate together. My dad worked long hours so he was not home, but my mom made dinner for all the kids and would sit with us at the kitchen table as we ate. She usually waited to actually eat dinner with my dad, but I still counted that as eating together.
As a kid we always ate together every night as well, my mom was a stickler for us having a home cooked meal together.
Before we moved to NJ, my DH had a much shorter commute so we had dinner together every night too. Unfortunately now he has to miss a few but regardless, I still try to cook for the family at least 5 days a week even if he has to eat his later.
I think family meals are so important, I wish we could do it every night like we use to. I know it's not always easy to coordinate but I really like having that little bit of time to slow down with no tv, electronics or distractions and just talk about our day and unwind.
We ate together on most nights until we were older and sports got in the way. I do not necessarily think that family dinners are important. We have other ways as a family to stay connected interact and socialize with each other. If I cooked a big meal every night I would be overweight!
Funny how no one is speaking of breakfast or lunch together. I wonder if people find that as important.
Maybe because people have jobs and kids are usually in school. Neither are practical meals to have together unless it's the weekend.
My kids don't have the same school schedule so they are up and eating at different times during the week. DH only has protein shakes in the morning before he leaves for work early. I do make nice breakfasts for us on the weekend and we have lunch together as well but during the week everyone is on different schedules so eating together for breakfast and lunch isn't practical. I imagine that's the case for most people.
ETA - Also, this post wasn't about whether or not people have breakfast and lunch together. The OP specifically asked about dinner which is why that is all anyone is talking about.
You can say that for dinner too as many work 2nd shifts and are not home for dinner. They might be home for breakfast and lunch with the kids before school or when school is out.
When my husband worked nights, we would have lunch many times with our youngest who got out of school at noon.
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Posted 6/24/21 3:42 PM  |
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Re: How often do you eat dinner as a family.
Posted by Hofstra26
I think more realistically it's just always been customary in this country to gather as a family for dinner. That's the pretty traditional way of doing things, lunch and breakfast have not been considered family meals in the United States. But obviously, to each his own as that way of doing things doesn't work for everyone.
Yes when moms were home and dads worked 9-5.
Times have changed and many have such odd hours.
Message edited 6/24/2021 3:45:00 PM.
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| Posted 6/24/21 3:44 PM |
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blu6385
Member since 5/08 8351 total posts
Name:
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Re: How often do you eat dinner as a family.
Almost never! I eat late ans my kids eat early
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| Posted 6/24/21 3:45 PM |
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Re: How often do you eat dinner as a family.
Posted by lululu
Posted by Hofstra26
Posted by lululu
Posted by Hofstra26
I think more realistically it's just always been customary in this country to gather as a family for dinner. That's the pretty traditional way of doing things, lunch and breakfast have not been considered family meals in the United States. But obviously, to each his own as that way of doing things doesn't work for everyone.
Yes it is definitely the more traditional American thing. But I think a lot of people wear it as a badge of honor. Like they are "doing it right" because they make it so that the whole family can sit down to dinner together, when in reality for some families that just doesn't work for whatever reason. Even look at this thread - I said that it would be hard for my family to make that work most nights and a poster brought up how her mom was able to make it work with activities of 5 children. Well whoop tee doo! Great for her mother. I am not sure if she is a magician but I don't think it's physically possible for my family to sit down for dinner every night when one kid is gone from 6 - 10 every night and another doesn't get home until after 6. It's like a subtle dig.... "If my mom could make it work with 5 kids, you must clearly be doing something wrong if you can't make it work with only 3."
Not to be snarky, honestly, but I think you're taking it way too personally. I just read that comment as her sharing her experience with family dinner, nothing more. I'm pretty sure there is NOBODY walking around wearing family dinner as a" badge of honor" or really caring how anyone else runs their household. Just because it's a tradition that's important to some doesn't mean they expect it to be important to everyone else.
I'm not really taking it personally and frankly I really don't care but there was no reason to bring that up in response to me saying it was impossible for my family. She said "we just rearrange our schedules..." "My mom was able to make it work with 5 kids and activities...." She didn't say, oh that stinks that you can't make it work, that would be hard for me. It's a passive aggressive way of saying "you could do it if you tried." I'm very passive aggressive so I am very in tune to other people's passive aggressive comments. I really don't give two sh*ts as I eat to live, I don't live to eat. I'm not a foodie, don't really care that much about great restaurants or being able to cook well. I'll eat what's around when I'm hungry. The thing I loathe most as a parent is having to worry about feeding other people.
I don’t think I can be friends with you as I LIVE to eat lololol.
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| Posted 6/24/21 3:47 PM |
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Hofstra26
Love to Bake!
Member since 7/06 27915 total posts
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Re: How often do you eat dinner as a family.
Posted by windyweather21
Posted by Hofstra26
I think more realistically it's just always been customary in this country to gather as a family for dinner. That's the pretty traditional way of doing things, lunch and breakfast have not been considered family meals in the United States. But obviously, to each his own as that way of doing things doesn't work for everyone.
Yes when moms were home and dads worked 9-5.
Times have changed and many have such odd hours.
And still, some make family dinners a priority despite hectic schedules and work. It all depends on what you value. I'm 100% Italian, gathering around the table for dinner was everything growing up so I've made it a point to raise my kids the same. It's not 100% of the time but as much as we can because it's important to me.
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| Posted 6/24/21 4:11 PM |
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klingklang77
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Re: How often do you eat dinner as a family.
Posted by lululu
Posted by klingklang77
Posted by soontobemommyof2
Posted by lululu
Posted by PitterPatter11
Posted by lululu
Wow! I am shocked at the answers. We seem to be running all over the place with sports and activities, it would be pretty much impossible to sit down for dinner most nights. The only time we were able to consistently have dinner together was when we were on lockdown and I feel like I gained so much weight because of it!
Really? Most people I know eat dinner together most nights. Even when we are busy, we just rearrange dinner time to eat together. This week, my DS has soccer camp 6-8 and we have ate dinner together every night. My mom had 5 kids with activities and we always ate together. My dad worked long hours so he was not home, but my mom made dinner for all the kids and would sit with us at the kitchen table as we ate. She usually waited to actually eat dinner with my dad, but I still counted that as eating together.
No, I think in the town I live in kids are so bogged down with activities, I know very few families that sit down and eat together every night. I guess I am only thinking of weeknights - Monday thru Thursday. Of those nights my daughter is at gymnastics three nights a week - she leaves before my son is even home from middle school sports. So it would be impossible for all of my kids to eat together. I am also not a big dinner person. I am more of an eat a larger lunch and have a snack or very light meal at dinner. When my kids were very little we did eat together every night. But now that they are older it's kind of impossible.
ETA: on weekends we typically eat together as a family either at home or we go out to eat. It's not that we never eat together but on weeknights it would be physically impossible due to activities for us to sit down every night. And we can't just rearrange our schedules to eat together because my daughter doesn't get home until almost 10pm.
That’s an actual custom in my country. The biggest meal of the deal is during lunch time. For dinner, it’s a very light meal.
It's that way here as well. Some stores are closed at lunch time and 1-2 hours is considered a normal lunch hour. I'm in a city, so more things are open, but when I was in a small town most things were closed between 12-2.
When we meet with SO's family, it is always a big lunch. Dinner doesn't seem to be a thing with them.
Ha! I am of German decent so maybe it's in my DNA.
 Makes sense. I’m not of German descent, but with roots of other countries (Eastern/Southern European) the same tradition.
I think it makes sense. I’m perfectly happy with a big lunch and then a small snack of fruit or cheese/bread/ham for dinner. I could also get behind having late night dinners.
The coffee and cake thing really irks me, though. They seem to combine it in some strange way. Big lunch, coffee and cake at 3 pm and then (small) dinner afterwards. I HATE that.
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| Posted 6/24/21 4:17 PM |
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NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..
Member since 11/09 54921 total posts
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..being a mommy and being a wife!
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Re: How often do you eat dinner as a family.
Posted by lululu
Posted by windyweather21
Posted by lululu
Posted by Hofstra26
Posted by PitterPatter11
Posted by lululu
Wow! I am shocked at the answers. We seem to be running all over the place with sports and activities, it would be pretty much impossible to sit down for dinner most nights. The only time we were able to consistently have dinner together was when we were on lockdown and I feel like I gained so much weight because of it!
Really? Most people I know eat dinner together most nights. Even when we are busy, we just rearrange dinner time to eat together. This week, my DS has soccer camp 6-8 and we have ate dinner together every night. My mom had 5 kids with activities and we always ate together. My dad worked long hours so he was not home, but my mom made dinner for all the kids and would sit with us at the kitchen table as we ate. She usually waited to actually eat dinner with my dad, but I still counted that as eating together.
As a kid we always ate together every night as well, my mom was a stickler for us having a home cooked meal together.
Before we moved to NJ, my DH had a much shorter commute so we had dinner together every night too. Unfortunately now he has to miss a few but regardless, I still try to cook for the family at least 5 days a week even if he has to eat his later.
I think family meals are so important, I wish we could do it every night like we use to. I know it's not always easy to coordinate but I really like having that little bit of time to slow down with no tv, electronics or distractions and just talk about our day and unwind.
We ate together on most nights until we were older and sports got in the way. I do not necessarily think that family dinners are important. We have other ways as a family to stay connected interact and socialize with each other. If I cooked a big meal every night I would be overweight!
Funny how no one is speaking of breakfast or lunch together. I wonder if people find that as important.
I know I actually wondered that as well. I think that if I was going to be strict about eating a meal together it would be breakfast or lunch. I really don't eat a big breakfast though so it would probably be lunch and that's impossible with school. My husband and I do a couple of lunch dates a week now while the kids are at school though. We very rarely go out for dinner anymore and this suites me a lot better.
But what is interesting to me, and I had a vegan friends with strict dietary restraints point this out to me years ago, is that so much of American social interactions revolve around food. Want to catch up with someone - meet for dinner. Having friends over, put out a big spread of food. If you just want to do something that doesn't involve eating and/or drinking the options start to get somewhat limited. I wonder if this is part of why we are so fat as a country.
It's funny you say that about the American obsession with food... when my husband stopped eating 3 meals a day, we realized just how much of life and social activities revolve around food. Even going to the movies- I never cared about the movie- but man did I want that movie popcorn.
I still eat like that. But he doesn't. So there are no more going out to breakfast or brunches, no more wine and cheese out east, I go out to lunch with friends, because he doesn't eat lunch. Our big thing now is dinner because that's the one time a day he will eat. At family gatherings he drinks seltzer while I sit there gorging myself on crap. At the end of the night I'm sick to my stomach and feeling like shit and he feels great.
It's odd to me. But he is the healthiest he has ever been and the happiest. It works for him, but could never work for me.
It's really a tradition though that everything social in this country revolves around food. And perhaps in other countries too.
And you don't realize it until you or someone you live with- changes that. Then it becomes so glaringly clear
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| Posted 6/24/21 4:19 PM |
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NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..
Member since 11/09 54921 total posts
Name:
..being a mommy and being a wife!
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Re: How often do you eat dinner as a family.
Posted by lululu
Posted by Hofstra26
I think more realistically it's just always been customary in this country to gather as a family for dinner. That's the pretty traditional way of doing things, lunch and breakfast have not been considered family meals in the United States. But obviously, to each his own as that way of doing things doesn't work for everyone.
Yes it is definitely the more traditional American thing. But I think a lot of people wear it as a badge of honor. Like they are "doing it right" because they make it so that the whole family can sit down to dinner together, when in reality for some families that just doesn't work for whatever reason. Even look at this thread - I said that it would be hard for my family to make that work most nights and a poster brought up how her mom was able to make it work with activities of 5 children. Well whoop tee doo! Great for her mother. I am not sure if she is a magician but I don't think it's physically possible for my family to sit down for dinner every night when one kid is gone from 6 - 10 every night and another doesn't get home until after 6. It's like a subtle dig.... "If my mom could make it work with 5 kids, you must clearly be doing something wrong if you can't make it work with only 3."
I have one kid and I have no desire to sit down to a boring family dinner of a protein a carb and a vege at a boring kitchen table and discuss our boring days.
Sounds like torture to me to be honest.
I'd eat out in a restaurant every day of the week if it was up to me. I'm not a fan of home cooking at all to be honest.
Don't take it personal.
Everyone is different.
I am proud of the fact that I fly in the face of all this traditional crap
Message edited 6/24/2021 4:35:50 PM.
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| Posted 6/24/21 4:23 PM |
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lululu
LIF Adult
Member since 7/05 9511 total posts
Name:
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Re: How often do you eat dinner as a family.
Posted by NervousNell
Posted by lululu
Posted by Hofstra26
I think more realistically it's just always been customary in this country to gather as a family for dinner. That's the pretty traditional way of doing things, lunch and breakfast have not been considered family meals in the United States. But obviously, to each his own as that way of doing things doesn't work for everyone.
Yes it is definitely the more traditional American thing. But I think a lot of people wear it as a badge of honor. Like they are "doing it right" because they make it so that the whole family can sit down to dinner together, when in reality for some families that just doesn't work for whatever reason. Even look at this thread - I said that it would be hard for my family to make that work most nights and a poster brought up how her mom was able to make it work with activities of 5 children. Well whoop tee doo! Great for her mother. I am not sure if she is a magician but I don't think it's physically possible for my family to sit down for dinner every night when one kid is gone from 6 - 10 every night and another doesn't get home until after 6. It's like a subtle dig.... "If my mom could make it work with 5 kids, you must clearly be doing something wrong if you can't make it work with only 3."
I have one kid and I have no desire to sit down to a boring family dinner of a protein a carb and a vege at a boring kitchen table and discuss our boring days.
Sounds like torture to me to be honest.
I'd eat out in a restaurant every day of the week if it was up to me. I'm not a fan of home cooking at all to be honest.
Don't take it personal.
Everyone is different.
I am proud of the fact that I fly in the face of all this traditional crap
We sound very similar. My kids are so bored at the table. They’d rather be doing anything else. I’m also not a fan of home cooking and this is totally off topic but if I were a teacher and someone baked me something as a gift that shit would go right in the trash. Anything from a kitchen I don’t know skeeves me.
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| Posted 6/24/21 4:42 PM |
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Katareen
5,000 Posts!
Member since 4/10 7180 total posts
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Katherine
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How often do you eat dinner as a family.
Pretty much every night. I rarely (if ever) cook a large meal, and sometimes we don’t all eat the same thing, but we always sit together and talk.
One of my favorite parts of the day!
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| Posted 6/24/21 5:30 PM |
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MrsG823
Just call me Mommy.
Member since 1/11 5570 total posts
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S
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How often do you eat dinner as a family.
We eat together every night unless dh is traveling for work or has to work late. For us it is more about carving out time together each day- my daughter will wait to eat if I get stuck at work.
Message edited 6/24/2021 6:46:28 PM.
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| Posted 6/24/21 6:44 PM |
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LuckyStar
LIF Adult
Member since 7/14 7274 total posts
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Re: How often do you eat dinner as a family.
Posted by lululu
Wow! I am shocked at the answers. We seem to be running all over the place with sports and activities, it would be pretty much impossible to sit down for dinner most nights. The only time we were able to consistently have dinner together was when we were on lockdown and I feel like I gained so much weight because of it!
I am, too. Hardly anyone I know eats all together. I suspect our dinner routine will change in the next few years as DD’s activities get later and later.
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| Posted 6/24/21 7:18 PM |
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PhyllisNJoe
My Box Is Broken
Member since 6/11 9145 total posts
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Phyllis
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Re: How often do you eat dinner as a family.
It’s just DH and I, we eat dinner together every night. If he’s running late, I usually wait (unless it’s super late) and he will do the same for me.
As dysfunctional as my family growing up was, we always ate dinner together. My mother worked full time , so did my father. Some dinners were early, some were really late - either way, all 6 of us were at that table together. Even if it was McDonald’s mom grabbed on the way home. Once my dad died, it stopped. He was the glue.
ETA: it was different then. Us kids didn’t have activities. Our active was going out to play with our friends on the block and coming home to our moms calling our names from the window to come and eat.
Message edited 6/24/2021 7:46:10 PM.
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| Posted 6/24/21 7:45 PM |
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Hofstra26
Love to Bake!
Member since 7/06 27915 total posts
Name:
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Re: How often do you eat dinner as a family.
Posted by PhyllisNJoe
It’s just DH and I, we eat dinner together every night. If he’s running late, I usually wait (unless it’s super late) and he will do the same for me.
As dysfunctional as my family growing up was, we always ate dinner together. My mother worked full time , so did my father. Some dinners were early, some were really late - either way, all 6 of us were at that table together. Even if it was McDonald’s mom grabbed on the way home. Once my dad died, it stopped. He was the glue.
ETA: it was different then. Us kids didn’t have activities. Our active was going out to play with our friends on the block and coming home to our moms calling our names from the window to come and eat.
I miss those days of playing outside and having old fashioned fun. Life was so much simpler back in the day when we were little. Kids seemed happier and less stressed than kids are nowadays. Now it's so much more common to over schedule kids and put them in a million activities.
I hate the idea of running all over town day in and day out like a chicken without a head. I also think it's good for kids to have downtime to learn how to "just be". I've made it a point to limit how many things my kids can participate in at one time, especially while they are small. They'll have plenty of time to be busy as they get older so for now I'm enjoying our open calendar.
To each his own of course, I'm not knocking how anyone does things. For myself though I just detest a packed calendar regardless of what is scheduled.
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| Posted 6/24/21 8:23 PM |
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Re: How often do you eat dinner as a family.
Posted by Hofstra26
Posted by windyweather21
Posted by Hofstra26
I think more realistically it's just always been customary in this country to gather as a family for dinner. That's the pretty traditional way of doing things, lunch and breakfast have not been considered family meals in the United States. But obviously, to each his own as that way of doing things doesn't work for everyone.
Yes when moms were home and dads worked 9-5.
Times have changed and many have such odd hours.
And still, some make family dinners a priority despite hectic schedules and work. It all depends on what you value. I'm 100% Italian, gathering around the table for dinner was everything growing up so I've made it a point to raise my kids the same. It's not 100% of the time but as much as we can because it's important to me.
Please explain how that is done with families who work opposite shifts and ones that are not home at dinner time.
It sounds like you have always worked normal work hours as well as your husband and family so you don’t understand how difficult this is for others.
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| Posted 6/24/21 8:58 PM |
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Re: How often do you eat dinner as a family.
Posted by NervousNell
Posted by lululu
Posted by windyweather21
Posted by lululu
Posted by Hofstra26
Posted by PitterPatter11
Posted by lululu
Wow! I am shocked at the answers. We seem to be running all over the place with sports and activities, it would be pretty much impossible to sit down for dinner most nights. The only time we were able to consistently have dinner together was when we were on lockdown and I feel like I gained so much weight because of it!
Really? Most people I know eat dinner together most nights. Even when we are busy, we just rearrange dinner time to eat together. This week, my DS has soccer camp 6-8 and we have ate dinner together every night. My mom had 5 kids with activities and we always ate together. My dad worked long hours so he was not home, but my mom made dinner for all the kids and would sit with us at the kitchen table as we ate. She usually waited to actually eat dinner with my dad, but I still counted that as eating together.
As a kid we always ate together every night as well, my mom was a stickler for us having a home cooked meal together.
Before we moved to NJ, my DH had a much shorter commute so we had dinner together every night too. Unfortunately now he has to miss a few but regardless, I still try to cook for the family at least 5 days a week even if he has to eat his later.
I think family meals are so important, I wish we could do it every night like we use to. I know it's not always easy to coordinate but I really like having that little bit of time to slow down with no tv, electronics or distractions and just talk about our day and unwind.
We ate together on most nights until we were older and sports got in the way. I do not necessarily think that family dinners are important. We have other ways as a family to stay connected interact and socialize with each other. If I cooked a big meal every night I would be overweight!
Funny how no one is speaking of breakfast or lunch together. I wonder if people find that as important.
I know I actually wondered that as well. I think that if I was going to be strict about eating a meal together it would be breakfast or lunch. I really don't eat a big breakfast though so it would probably be lunch and that's impossible with school. My husband and I do a couple of lunch dates a week now while the kids are at school though. We very rarely go out for dinner anymore and this suites me a lot better.
But what is interesting to me, and I had a vegan friends with strict dietary restraints point this out to me years ago, is that so much of American social interactions revolve around food. Want to catch up with someone - meet for dinner. Having friends over, put out a big spread of food. If you just want to do something that doesn't involve eating and/or drinking the options start to get somewhat limited. I wonder if this is part of why we are so fat as a country.
It's funny you say that about the American obsession with food... when my husband stopped eating 3 meals a day, we realized just how much of life and social activities revolve around food. Even going to the movies- I never cared about the movie- but man did I want that movie popcorn.
I still eat like that. But he doesn't. So there are no more going out to breakfast or brunches, no more wine and cheese out east, I go out to lunch with friends, because he doesn't eat lunch. Our big thing now is dinner because that's the one time a day he will eat. At family gatherings he drinks seltzer while I sit there gorging myself on crap. At the end of the night I'm sick to my stomach and feeling like shit and he feels great.
It's odd to me. But he is the healthiest he has ever been and the happiest. It works for him, but could never work for me.
It's really a tradition though that everything social in this country revolves around food. And perhaps in other countries too.
And you don't realize it until you or someone you live with- changes that. Then it becomes so glaringly clear
That would never work for me either. I love to eat as well as my husband and friends and family. It seems everything revolves around food and drinks lol
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| Posted 6/24/21 9:04 PM |
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Hofstra26
Love to Bake!
Member since 7/06 27915 total posts
Name:
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Re: How often do you eat dinner as a family.
Posted by windyweather21
Posted by Hofstra26
Posted by windyweather21
Posted by Hofstra26
I think more realistically it's just always been customary in this country to gather as a family for dinner. That's the pretty traditional way of doing things, lunch and breakfast have not been considered family meals in the United States. But obviously, to each his own as that way of doing things doesn't work for everyone.
Yes when moms were home and dads worked 9-5.
Times have changed and many have such odd hours.
And still, some make family dinners a priority despite hectic schedules and work. It all depends on what you value. I'm 100% Italian, gathering around the table for dinner was everything growing up so I've made it a point to raise my kids the same. It's not 100% of the time but as much as we can because it's important to me.
Please explain how that is done with families who work opposite shifts and ones that are not home at dinner time.
It sounds like you have always worked normal work hours as well as your husband and family so you don’t understand how difficult this is for others.
There is nothing to explain. When something is a priority, dinner or otherwise, you figure out how to make it work. I'm not sure what's so hard to understand. Stop making assumptions about me or anyone else as you literally have NO idea what you're talking about nor do you know anything about my life. Just accept the fact that different families have different priorities and different ways of doing things. Why do you always need everyone to explain everything to you? My comment was pretty self explanatory.
Message edited 6/24/2021 9:09:50 PM.
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| Posted 6/24/21 9:08 PM |
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Re: How often do you eat dinner as a family.
Posted by Hofstra26
Posted by windyweather21
Posted by Hofstra26
Posted by windyweather21
Posted by Hofstra26
I think more realistically it's just always been customary in this country to gather as a family for dinner. That's the pretty traditional way of doing things, lunch and breakfast have not been considered family meals in the United States. But obviously, to each his own as that way of doing things doesn't work for everyone.
Yes when moms were home and dads worked 9-5.
Times have changed and many have such odd hours.
And still, some make family dinners a priority despite hectic schedules and work. It all depends on what you value. I'm 100% Italian, gathering around the table for dinner was everything growing up so I've made it a point to raise my kids the same. It's not 100% of the time but as much as we can because it's important to me.
Please explain how that is done with families who work opposite shifts and ones that are not home at dinner time.
It sounds like you have always worked normal work hours as well as your husband and family so you don’t understand how difficult this is for others.
There is nothing to explain. When something is a priority, dinner or otherwise, you figure out how to make it work. I'm not sure what's so hard to understand. Stop making assumptions about me or anyone else as you literally have NO idea what you're talking about nor do you know anything about my life. Just accept the fact that different families have different priorities and different ways of doing things. Why do you always need everyone to explain everything to you? My comment was pretty self explanatory.
Well I can tell you from experience, it can’t always be done on an everyday basis. Years ago I worked 8:30-5. My husband worked 3-11pm. We never had dinner together except for weekends.
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| Posted 6/24/21 9:21 PM |
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Hofstra26
Love to Bake!
Member since 7/06 27915 total posts
Name:
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Re: How often do you eat dinner as a family.
Posted by windyweather21
Posted by Hofstra26
Posted by windyweather21
Posted by Hofstra26
Posted by windyweather21
Posted by Hofstra26
I think more realistically it's just always been customary in this country to gather as a family for dinner. That's the pretty traditional way of doing things, lunch and breakfast have not been considered family meals in the United States. But obviously, to each his own as that way of doing things doesn't work for everyone.
Yes when moms were home and dads worked 9-5.
Times have changed and many have such odd hours.
And still, some make family dinners a priority despite hectic schedules and work. It all depends on what you value. I'm 100% Italian, gathering around the table for dinner was everything growing up so I've made it a point to raise my kids the same. It's not 100% of the time but as much as we can because it's important to me.
Please explain how that is done with families who work opposite shifts and ones that are not home at dinner time.
It sounds like you have always worked normal work hours as well as your husband and family so you don’t understand how difficult this is for others.
There is nothing to explain. When something is a priority, dinner or otherwise, you figure out how to make it work. I'm not sure what's so hard to understand. Stop making assumptions about me or anyone else as you literally have NO idea what you're talking about nor do you know anything about my life. Just accept the fact that different families have different priorities and different ways of doing things. Why do you always need everyone to explain everything to you? My comment was pretty self explanatory.
Well I can tell you from experience, it can’t always be done on an everyday basis. Years ago I worked 8:30-5. My husband worked 3-11pm. We never had dinner together except for weekends.
People make all kinds of situations work. End of story.
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| Posted 6/24/21 9:26 PM |
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Re: How often do you eat dinner as a family.
Posted by Hofstra26
Posted by windyweather21
Posted by Hofstra26
Posted by windyweather21
Posted by Hofstra26
Posted by windyweather21
Posted by Hofstra26
I think more realistically it's just always been customary in this country to gather as a family for dinner. That's the pretty traditional way of doing things, lunch and breakfast have not been considered family meals in the United States. But obviously, to each his own as that way of doing things doesn't work for everyone.
Yes when moms were home and dads worked 9-5.
Times have changed and many have such odd hours.
And still, some make family dinners a priority despite hectic schedules and work. It all depends on what you value. I'm 100% Italian, gathering around the table for dinner was everything growing up so I've made it a point to raise my kids the same. It's not 100% of the time but as much as we can because it's important to me.
Please explain how that is done with families who work opposite shifts and ones that are not home at dinner time.
It sounds like you have always worked normal work hours as well as your husband and family so you don’t understand how difficult this is for others.
There is nothing to explain. When something is a priority, dinner or otherwise, you figure out how to make it work. I'm not sure what's so hard to understand. Stop making assumptions about me or anyone else as you literally have NO idea what you're talking about nor do you know anything about my life. Just accept the fact that different families have different priorities and different ways of doing things. Why do you always need everyone to explain everything to you? My comment was pretty self explanatory.
Well I can tell you from experience, it can’t always be done on an everyday basis. Years ago I worked 8:30-5. My husband worked 3-11pm. We never had dinner together except for weekends.
People make all kinds of situations work. End of story.
Please explain then how that would work. Not being snarky but I lived for years with opposite schedules and it was not possible.
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| Posted 6/24/21 9:28 PM |
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NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..
Member since 11/09 54921 total posts
Name:
..being a mommy and being a wife!
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Re: How often do you eat dinner as a family.
Posted by windyweather21
Posted by Hofstra26
Posted by windyweather21
Posted by Hofstra26
Posted by windyweather21
Posted by Hofstra26
Posted by windyweather21
Posted by Hofstra26
I think more realistically it's just always been customary in this country to gather as a family for dinner. That's the pretty traditional way of doing things, lunch and breakfast have not been considered family meals in the United States. But obviously, to each his own as that way of doing things doesn't work for everyone.
Yes when moms were home and dads worked 9-5.
Times have changed and many have such odd hours.
And still, some make family dinners a priority despite hectic schedules and work. It all depends on what you value. I'm 100% Italian, gathering around the table for dinner was everything growing up so I've made it a point to raise my kids the same. It's not 100% of the time but as much as we can because it's important to me.
Please explain how that is done with families who work opposite shifts and ones that are not home at dinner time.
It sounds like you have always worked normal work hours as well as your husband and family so you don’t understand how difficult this is for others.
There is nothing to explain. When something is a priority, dinner or otherwise, you figure out how to make it work. I'm not sure what's so hard to understand. Stop making assumptions about me or anyone else as you literally have NO idea what you're talking about nor do you know anything about my life. Just accept the fact that different families have different priorities and different ways of doing things. Why do you always need everyone to explain everything to you? My comment was pretty self explanatory.
Well I can tell you from experience, it can’t always be done on an everyday basis. Years ago I worked 8:30-5. My husband worked 3-11pm. We never had dinner together except for weekends.
People make all kinds of situations work. End of story.
Please explain then how that would work. Not being snarky but I lived for years with opposite schedules and it was not possible.
When I was first married and up until he retired, my husband worked midnights. He'd get home after an hourcand a half drive around 930 am, I'd be at work . He would go to bed around 1 or 2pm and sleep until 9 pm, shower and leave for work. He had no desire to eat dinner as that was like breakfast time to him. But more than anything he wanted to sleep as long as possible. So I'd eat dinner alone and pack him a dinner which he'd take to work with him and eat around 2 or 3 in the morning.
In our situation eating dinner together didn't make sense either...who wants to eat dinner right when you wake up for the day?
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| Posted 6/24/21 9:38 PM |
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Re: How often do you eat dinner as a family.
Posted by NervousNell
Posted by windyweather21
Posted by Hofstra26
Posted by windyweather21
Posted by Hofstra26
Posted by windyweather21
Posted by Hofstra26
Posted by windyweather21
Posted by Hofstra26
I think more realistically it's just always been customary in this country to gather as a family for dinner. That's the pretty traditional way of doing things, lunch and breakfast have not been considered family meals in the United States. But obviously, to each his own as that way of doing things doesn't work for everyone.
Yes when moms were home and dads worked 9-5.
Times have changed and many have such odd hours.
And still, some make family dinners a priority despite hectic schedules and work. It all depends on what you value. I'm 100% Italian, gathering around the table for dinner was everything growing up so I've made it a point to raise my kids the same. It's not 100% of the time but as much as we can because it's important to me.
Please explain how that is done with families who work opposite shifts and ones that are not home at dinner time.
It sounds like you have always worked normal work hours as well as your husband and family so you don’t understand how difficult this is for others.
There is nothing to explain. When something is a priority, dinner or otherwise, you figure out how to make it work. I'm not sure what's so hard to understand. Stop making assumptions about me or anyone else as you literally have NO idea what you're talking about nor do you know anything about my life. Just accept the fact that different families have different priorities and different ways of doing things. Why do you always need everyone to explain everything to you? My comment was pretty self explanatory.
Well I can tell you from experience, it can’t always be done on an everyday basis. Years ago I worked 8:30-5. My husband worked 3-11pm. We never had dinner together except for weekends.
People make all kinds of situations work. End of story.
Please explain then how that would work. Not being snarky but I lived for years with opposite schedules and it was not possible.
When I was first married and up until he retired, my husband worked midnights. He'd get home after an hourcand a half drive around 930 am, I'd be at work . He would go to bed around 1 or 2pm and sleep until 9 pm, shower and leave for work. He had no desire to eat dinner as that was like breakfast time to him. But more than anything he wanted to sleep as long as possible. So I'd eat dinner alone and pack him a dinner which he'd take to work with him and eat around 2 or 3 in the morning.
In our situation eating dinner together didn't make sense either...who wants to eat dinner right when you wake up for the day?
My husband just worked overnights for over 3 years. Horrible for his sleep schedule. A few hours here and there all day and night until he went to work. Only slept at same time 2 days a week and even then he would be up all night long as that is how his schedule was.
He was eating dinner foods at 7am. He would eat dinner with us but immediately go to bed so I would have to rush to cook dinner as soon as I got off work so he could eat and then sleep until 10pm.
3-11 shift we couldn’t eat dinner together as he was gone by the time I got home from work.
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| Posted 6/24/21 9:48 PM |
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lululu
LIF Adult
Member since 7/05 9511 total posts
Name:
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Re: How often do you eat dinner as a family.
Posted by Hofstra26
Posted by PhyllisNJoe
It’s just DH and I, we eat dinner together every night. If he’s running late, I usually wait (unless it’s super late) and he will do the same for me.
As dysfunctional as my family growing up was, we always ate dinner together. My mother worked full time , so did my father. Some dinners were early, some were really late - either way, all 6 of us were at that table together. Even if it was McDonald’s mom grabbed on the way home. Once my dad died, it stopped. He was the glue.
ETA: it was different then. Us kids didn’t have activities. Our active was going out to play with our friends on the block and coming home to our moms calling our names from the window to come and eat.
I miss those days of playing outside and having old fashioned fun. Life was so much simpler back in the day when we were little. Kids seemed happier and less stressed than kids are nowadays. Now it's so much more common to over schedule kids and put them in a million activities.
I hate the idea of running all over town day in and day out like a chicken without a head. I also think it's good for kids to have downtime to learn how to "just be". I've made it a point to limit how many things my kids can participate in at one time, especially while they are small. They'll have plenty of time to be busy as they get older so for now I'm enjoying our open calendar.
To each his own of course, I'm not knocking how anyone does things. For myself though I just detest a packed calendar regardless of what is scheduled.
Compared to most of the families where we live my kids actually are not in many activities. My son plays one sport at a time on the middle school schedule and then golfs with his friends when he has free time. My daughter does competitive gymnastics so that is time consuming but it's her only activity and my other daughter only does Ninja and not all year.
But just as an FYI I live in a neighborhood where kids are outside playing all the time. They ring one another's doorbell and ask their friends to come out and play. They ride bikes all over the neighborhood and walk into town sometimes. Those things are not gone, it just all depends on where you choose to live. Like you said about dinner, it's all about priorities. I could choose to live in an area with more land and a bigger house, but I would rather live where my kids have friends up and down the street and automatic playdates without the need for the moms to even get involved.
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| Posted 6/25/21 8:25 AM |
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lululu
LIF Adult
Member since 7/05 9511 total posts
Name:
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Re: How often do you eat dinner as a family.
Posted by Hofstra26
There is nothing to explain. When something is a priority, dinner or otherwise, you figure out how to make it work. I'm not sure what's so hard to understand. Stop making assumptions about me or anyone else as you literally have NO idea what you're talking about nor do you know anything about my life. Just accept the fact that different families have different priorities and different ways of doing things. Why do you always need everyone to explain everything to you? My comment was pretty self explanatory.
I think that Windy is just trying to point out that, in order to put that food on the dinner table, some times one spouse or the other needs to be at work while the rest of the family is eating dinner. Surely feeding your family is more important than all of you eating that food together. I think we can all agree that would be the priority when you can't just get another job or change careers.
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| Posted 6/25/21 8:27 AM |
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Hofstra26
Love to Bake!
Member since 7/06 27915 total posts
Name:
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Re: How often do you eat dinner as a family.
Posted by lululu
Posted by Hofstra26
There is nothing to explain. When something is a priority, dinner or otherwise, you figure out how to make it work. I'm not sure what's so hard to understand. Stop making assumptions about me or anyone else as you literally have NO idea what you're talking about nor do you know anything about my life. Just accept the fact that different families have different priorities and different ways of doing things. Why do you always need everyone to explain everything to you? My comment was pretty self explanatory.
I think that Windy is just trying to point out that, in order to put that food on the dinner table, some times one spouse or the other needs to be at work while the rest of the family is eating dinner. Surely feeding your family is more important than all of you eating that food together. I think we can all agree that would be the priority when you can't just get another job or change careers.
I am not sure why this is a back and forth TBH. Nobody has argued that people have to work or that life can be hectic or that some have schedules that are complicated. What I and a few others have just pointed out is that depending on what is important to you (and this goes beyond dinners) you find ways to make things work for your family even if it's in a non-traditional sense.
In the case of dinner, maybe some families make dinners earlier (or later) in the day so they can be together, maybe some families set aside one day a week for a special meal, etc. The specifics don't really matter, it's just the point that everyone has a set of priorities, values and things that matter for their families and regardless of what those things are people will do their best in every situation to meet those needs.
I have a friend who was tired of hectic schedules, her DH having an insane commute on the island and her kids being over-scheduled. She was tired of that life and wanted more time with her DH and more time as a family along with a slower pace of life. So, they put their house on the market, packed up their lives and headed to NC. She will tell anyone that will listen it's the best thing her family EVER did. They have dinner together every night now where before they never did, they have more free time for family activities and they are more relaxed and happy. She has never looked back.
So to my point, it comes down to priorities. When something matters to you, WHATEVER that something is, you find a way to make it work even if that means changing things in your life.
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| Posted 6/25/21 8:57 AM |
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