I am at my breaking point with my 3 1/2 yr old and have no idea what to do

For the last 6 months he is constantly waking up in the middle of the night crying and whining. Afraid of the dark. He fights to come into bed with us and if we dont let him he wants one of us to sleep with him. DH and I are exhausted. I have tried letting him cry but then he wakes up the baby. I leave his door wide open and the hall light on all night because he says he's afraid of the dark. That obviously isnt working. And he is waking up between 5:30 and 6:00...it's still dark out

I dont get it....this is a kid who was practically sleeping through the night at 2 months. Loved to sleep and even napped 3 hours during the day. He doesnt nap anymore so the 10 hrs of sleep he is getting is not enough because he can be cranky. He goes to bed by 8:00.

Why would a 3 yr. old all of a sudden change their sleeping habits so dramatically?

Re: I am at my breaking point with my 3 1/2 yr old and have no idea what to do

I can only share what we have done and been successfulwith. Have you tried making his bedtime earlier, even just by half hour. That helped with DS when we stopped his naps. Also have you tried talking to him before bed....bribing, oops I mean positive reinforcement works for us too. Before bed id say if you stay in your own bed til the sun comes up(or whatever time) you can ------- (I also choose to work both ends by adding)but if you come in mommys bed you will not play with your------ for one day. Not sure if that's the right way to handle it, but it works for us.

Good luck!

Re: I am at my breaking point with my 3 1/2 yr old and have no idea what to do

My niece was doing this to my sis around that same age; she bought her a digital clock and used it to start teaching her "time" Niece had to wait until the clock said "7:00" to come to mommy's room, they were REALLY successful with it, she enjoyed the "game"

This might be worth a shot too, DH brought home this "Twilight Turtle" for DS and he lovvvvvvvvvvvves it, if he wakes up super early, he always plays with it, he likes changing the colors of the stars on the wall It might be too "babyish" for 3.5 but maybe there's something similar that would work to keep him in bed a bit longer?

Re: I am at my breaking point with my 3 1/2 yr old and have no idea what to do

What time does he go to bed at night? I don't think 5:30-6 is that early to wake if he's going to be fairly early (but I have really early risers)

Jack needs to sleep with the lights on dim now. So I put it on the lowest setting when we leave his room and then I shut them before I go to bed.

Does he have any of his favorite toys/stuffed animals to comfort him?

Does he have a problem falling asleep - or just waking in the middle of the night?

Re: I am at my breaking point with my 3 1/2 yr old and have no idea what to do

Posted by colette

My niece was doing this to my sis around that same age; she bought her a digital clock and used it to start teaching her "time" Niece had to wait until the clock said "7:00" to come to mommy's room, they were REALLY successful with it, she enjoyed the "game"

This might be worth a shot too, DH brought home this "Twilight Turtle" for DS and he lovvvvvvvvvvvves it, if he wakes up super early, he always plays with it, he likes changing the colors of the stars on the wall It might be too "babyish" for 3.5 but maybe there's something similar that would work to keep him in bed a bit longer?

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Re: I am at my breaking point with my 3 1/2 yr old and have no idea what to do

Re: I am at my breaking point with my 3 1/2 yr old and have no idea what to do

No advice just hugs

I am in the EXACT same situation... DS has been an amazing sleeper since he was born and now at 3, he wakes up scared every night. We have to leave the light on when we put him to bed and we were turning it out before we went to bed but now he wakes up in the middle of the night and wants it put back on (which ends up with him awake at 5am because he cant tell its still dark out). So frustrating. DH & I were trying to figure out last night how to fix this too

No advice just hugs

I am in the EXACT same situation... DS has been an amazing sleeper since he was born and now at 3, he wakes up scared every night. We have to leave the light on when we put him to bed and we were turning it out before we went to bed but now he wakes up in the middle of the night and wants it put back on (which ends up with him awake at 5am because he cant tell its still dark out). So frustrating. DH & I were trying to figure out last night how to fix this too

ETA: I've tried Twilight turtle, sound machine, digital clock, regular night light and he's got a couple of lovies so I am at a loss

We were thinking this meant he was ready to give up his nap, but if TJ doesnt nap and still does it, maybe not Tonight we're going to try leaving the blackout curtains open, blinds closed. We're thinking his room is TOO dark so maybe some natural light will help him?

Message edited 10/20/2010 9:30:42 AM.

Re: I am at my breaking point with my 3 1/2 yr old and have no idea what to do

I could've wrote the same post!

What has worked for us the past two nights is putting her to bed 1/2 hour earlier. I think her body's needs have changed and her window to put her to bed moved. We were missing that window and she was overtired. For us, overtired = fitful sleep and waking at night.

I'm going to get her a digital clock too, that's a great suggestion.

I like the Twilight turtle suggestion too. My DD would love that. How about a sound machine?

ETA: My DD was using the afraid of dark as an excuse. They are smart at that age and know that you can't deny them when they are afraid!

Message edited 10/20/2010 9:18:33 AM.

Re: I am at my breaking point with my 3 1/2 yr old and have no idea what to do

Thomas went through this recently. I've always used the ceiling light on dim as a night light. When he is "afraid" of the dark, he asks me to put it on brighter. I do, and then after he's asleep, I lower it more. He went through a stage where he wouldn't let me leave his room at night. We struggled for a couple of weeks. Then one night I asked him if he wanted to listen to some nice soft music. He said yes. I turned on his clock radio to 106.7 lite fm with the sleep timer and he let me leave. This has become our nightly routine.

Good luck!