I am attending my first bris... please help!

I have been invited to my first bris. It is a close friend that I also work with. I am honored to be invited, however this is my first experience at a bris.

What do you wear?

Is there anything I should or should not do?

If I give a gift... how much is normally given? Is there a "bris" card I should put it in?

Sorry for all the questions... but THANK YOU FOR THE ANSWERS!

Re: I am attending my first bris... please help!

I was just at a bris. I wore a nice work outfit (dressy blazer and black skirt). Most people dressed up (guys in suits or at least button down shirts and slacks), women in clothes that would be suitable for a business-casual environment, dresses (not fancy, more like nice summer dresses).

If you are going to work afterwards, and you usually wear nice slacks, skirts, button down shirts, sweaters, etc. that should work totally fine.

you can also gauge what to wear based on where the bris is -- in a fancy hotel? In a synagogue? In someone's home?

For a gift - check out if there is a baby registry. Most people brought actual gifts (we got this baby playset). Most places sell "congrats on your baby boy" cards - doesn't have to be bris specific, you might not ever be able to find one. If you can't find a baby registry, I think it would appropriate to get a gift card to buy buy baby or something like that.

For a super-close friend, treat it present-wise regarding cost as to what you might spent for a bridal shower or baby shower.

If you get squeamish with blood, the thought of the snip snip, etc., you might want to stand towards the back of the room. The focus should be on the baby, not the passing out guests!

Re: I am attending my first bris... please help!

Wear what you'd wear to a Christening or for church or something. If it's soon then a nice summer dress is fine.

You can get something off their registry since they probably didn't have a baby shower.

I'm Jewish and didn't have a baby shower. At my sons bris the majority of gifts we got were off our registry. We're not supposed to bring anything for the baby in the home till he/she is born. Although... we did set up the furniture and got some other stuff. Shhh! LOL

BTW... I've never stayed in the room during the whole procedure. I'll listen to the Moyle then I walk out. Did the same for my son's. DH stayed and watched carefully. After it's done... eat some deli or bagels, cookies, yenta it up!

ETA - get a "congrats on your baby boy" card. or one of those type cards. I don't really think there is a bris card so that's fine

Message edited 8/19/2009 11:53:04 AM.

Re: I am attending my first bris... please help!

I agree w/ the AP.

If you want to give a monetary gift, give it in a multiple of 18 (which is chai-meaning life and it is also a lucky number)

Re: UPDATED WITH A NEW QUESTIONI am attending my first bris... please help!

Ok thank you ladies!

Since my friend did have a shower, my Jewish friend, who is also her friend, said we do not need to bring gifts. Is this true??

Re: I am attending my first bris... please help!

Message edited 11/29/2011 5:05:23 PM.

Re: I am attending my first bris... please help!

Message edited 8/19/2009 9:00:10 PM.

Re: I am attending my first bris... please help!

Thank you ladies! I am very honored to be invited!

Re: I am attending my first bris... please help!

I give a gift as if it were a christening. It is also tradition to give monetary gifts in multiples of 18......Have a good time!

Re: I am attending my first bris... please help!

Don't take pictures of the baby from the waist down. I learned this one when my dad's friend showed us the pics from my nephew's bris. I almost threw up!

Re: I am attending my first bris... please help!

I would make sure to dress conservative. Keep your shoulders and knees covered. For my nephew's bris in January, I wore a turtleneck sweater and dress pants. A nice skirt and top is respectful and works. My nephew's bris was in a snowstorm so I didn't want to wear a skirt.

As for don'ts-don't look! It was gross. And don't have a little kid with you watching. My then 4 year old niece was asking very loudly as her brother was circumsized, "What is that red thing on my brother?" Why are they taking off his diaper?


For a gift, money, baby clothes-generally stuff you would give for a shower works!

Re: I am attending my first bris... please help!

Posted by lipglossjunky73

Don't take pictures of the baby from the waist down. I learned this one when my dad's friend showed us the pics from my nephew's bris. I almost threw up!

Re: I am attending my first bris... please help!

Just wanted to chime in that a sundress is probably ok if the bris is at someone's house, but if it is in a temple, you should make sure your shoulders are covered and that the skirt isn't too short. If you already gave the mother a shower gift, I think a card and a small token gift would be fine.

Have fun!

Re: I am attending my first bris... please help!

Since you have already given your friend a gift for the baby at her shower, a gift is not necessary or expected at all. Usually people who bring gifts to bris's havnt given a baby gift yet (common b/c in judaism most people dont have showers or give gifts before the baby is born so the bris is the first opportunity for gift giving). However sometimes people do bring small token gifts, like a picture frame or something along those lines.