I am really at a loss right now..going back to work?

OK I need advice. I know no one can tell me exactly WHAT to do but any words would be greatly appreciated!

I have a big decision to make. I am a preschool teacher. When school was over last June, it was known that I wouldnt be coming back for a year. I wanted to stay home with my daughter for a full year, which I am doing now. My boss (who is also one of my very good friends) told me that she would love to have me back the following year. I told her that more than likely I would be back. Now, while I was pregnant, I worked part time. My hours were 8:30-12:30. IF I were to go back, these would be my hours again, so it would be a part time job. The money isnt all that great but its something. The teacher that she has in the room now where I am, is not doing well at all and she is either going to give me my position back if I want it or hire someone totally new, thing is, she needs to know before May what my decision is so she can start interviewing...I DONT KNOW MY DECISION!!!!!

We are surviving on my dh's salary but to be honest, not saving much. We used to save my check but again, it isnt much but its something. My dh feels a lot of pressure to be the sole breadwinner but thinks that he should just deal with that pressure so I can stay home with Megan. I would LOVE to stay home with her but at the same time, I think a couple of hours a day, wouldnt be too bad.

Now..my dh works nights. The only time I see him is in the morning. The only time we get to run errands together is in the morning. The only time he sleeps is in the morning. Megan will be a year then and will obviously be very active and on the go. I am not sure my dh will be able to handle this schedule.

I know no one can ANSWER my question for me..I know I have to do whats best for me and for my family..especially my dd. I am at odds here..I see the pros and cons of going back and staying home. I also dont want to let people at work down when they all thought I was returning.

Anyone have any words of wisdom?? Anything that helped them make the decision?? I am really confused right now. Thank you!

Re: I am really at a loss right now..going back to work?

I wrote the pros and cons out on some paper so i could see it. We also worked the numbers out financially on paper with along with the pros and cons. ANd would we be happy, and especially me, with the sacrafices we are making for me to stay home.

It turned out that daycare and for me to work a couple days a week would not be worth it, and working from home, there's no way i could do that with an active baby at home and my time at night and on the weekends with my family was too precious to do work then.

But for us, if i wasn't pg again, my answer would have been crystal clear, i would have went back full time cause i am a worker.

It was soo hard, the hardest decision i ever had to make ever and i do miss working and contributing at times. BUt we make it on DH's salary with some saving, using coupons, and making smart purchases.

If you guys can make it without the extra money, i wouldn't go back if i were you, to us family time together is way more important than material things.

Good luck
I know how hard this decision is.

Message edited 3/5/2007 1:38:29 PM.

Re: I am really at a loss right now..going back to work?

Thank you for sharing your experience with me!

Re: I am really at a loss right now..going back to work?

I think your work schedule is ideal....it really is not that many hours that she will be alone with dh.

What time does she wake up on the morning? They could prob sleep in together and bond.

I would go for it! Good Luck in whatever you decide.


eta..my friend and her husband did this for about two years and it worked for them

Re: I am really at a loss right now..going back to work?

A BIG question IMO is can you afford daycare AND working? I mean, will your salary pay for daycare and still give you some left over to save or use for bills? Do you LOVE your job? Do you miss your daycare children?

Re: I am really at a loss right now..going back to work?

Noreen, just from what I know about you as my friend, I have to say, I would urge you to go back if you can. I think it would be really good to get out, especially because you're in a lot. I know that JT really enjoys going to work, and so do I. Is it tough that we don't see each other that much? Yes, but it's a great time for JT to be with AVa and a great time for me to have me time. Anthony will adjust to being home with Megan if that's the only option he has. I think if you look at it as a rare opportunity for a dad to bond so closely with his daughter and for a mom to get some other interaction during the day, it might help make the decision. HTH