I am regretting my decision to send DD to daycare...

I chose daycare because I thought that the exposure to other kids and playtime etc. would be great for her development. I also picked a daycare where they have a music teacher and a tumbling teacher once a week and is very structured. DD handled the first shortened week very well, but seemed "off" on Saturday. Yesterday she was fine and then this morning, my DH said that she seemed "sad" when he dropped her off.

I get home around 3:00 and I can't pick her up until 4:30. At 5, my DH got home and we picked her up together.

When we got there she was crying hysterically and one of the workers was holding her rummaging through her lunch bag.

They told me to pack her a morning snack, lunch and and afternoon snack which I did, but then I realized that she must have gone from 12 to 5 without a bottle and was probably starving.

As soon as I got home I made her a bottle and for the first time ever, she grabbed the bottle from my hands and fed herself.

I feel so much pressure every night to get her lunch bag, clothes and whatever else she needs for the day ready because DH drops her off and honestly, i don't think he could do it without my help. I also have to get my clothes together because i wake up at 6 to get to work by 7:20.

When we brought her home today, we changed, I went out t the laundromat, washed her clothes, came back upstairs, made her dinner, made DH and my dinner, gave her a bath, and put her to sleep in my bed, which is the only place she will sleep. I haven't even eaten yet.

I just feel like maybe with a nanny, I would have to do so much prep work and she would be home in her own environment. My sister would be able to watch her 2-3 times a week, so I would have to find somebody PT for the other days, which is hard to find. Plus, we signed the daycare contract that i doubt we can get out of.

Sorry this is so long. I am a teacher and have been adjusting to going back to work, the Daycare situation, fighting the DOE about benefits and I am just beat down. I almost started crying after my school day was over b/c I thought I lost my house keys and I dumped my purse all over my desk searching for them. Meanwhile, they were in the zippered pocket. I haven't even graded one paper yet.

Don't really know what i am looking for here. Maybe just a vent. maybe some hugs. Thanks for reading this if you did.



I'm a sad, tired Mom.

Re: I am regretting my decision to send DD to daycare...

I've been there, it is really hard to try and get everything together and out the door in time. But you will get used to it and DH will probably surprise you that he can step up and do some more too.

Honestly, I'd stick with daycare. We've done both, daycare is solid, no onecalls in sick, no one bails at hte last minute, etc, etc. And that is a great thing.

She will get used to it, so will you and everything will be fine

Re: I am regretting my decision to send DD to daycare...

I am so sorry but Erin it does get better. Its a BIG change to go from staying home with DC and having time to going back to work With NO time for anything.

When DH and I started doing it I didnt think we would survive. BUT you do get in a groove. Its a crazy groove but it does work. Your DH takes her so that gives you the morning (I am a harried mommy at daycare dropping them off). Also you do get out a little earlier than most working mommys so I am sure you will find that groove.

DH will have to help--which does happen with time. Mommies always bear most of the responsibility but DH could do some jobs with direction.

I SWEAR it gets better!!!

What I do have issue with is the daycare--why wasnt she fed from 12-5??? That is unacceptable

Re: I am regretting my decision to send DD to daycare...

Give it some time. The key is to being prepared and doing all you can the night before even though you feel like you are running on empty. It gets easier - I promise!

Re: I am regretting my decision to send DD to daycare...

I'm adjusting to being back at work myself. It certainly isn't easy. You're always on the go. I feel like I'm being pulled in a million directions sometimes.

Maybe you can look for a nanny while she stays at the center. I am sure it will get easier.

Something that came to mind while I was reading your post...I get all of my clothes for the week ready on Sunday night. I've posted this before, but it's made things much easier!

Re: I am regretting my decision to send DD to daycare...

It does get better. When I went back to work after maternity leave ( I work for the DOE too) it was so hard. Between my commute ( I live in Suffolk and commute to Manhattan) getting everything ready the night before, just leaving her in general....I though I was going to lose my mind. But it does get better. DD loves daycare but sometimes she has bad days and it hurts me probably more than it hurts her.

Now a year later she goes running into her classroom and give her teacher a kiss hello. We found a routine that works for us and while it isn't perfect, it works for us.

Give it some time. It will be ok!

Re: I am regretting my decision to send DD to daycare...

It does get better - you soon will be able to get everything together while half asleep! And trust me - you will never forget all the bottles again!

Bring a small can of formula to daycare to leave there too - \my daycare never had to use it, but they had it just in case - you never know when a bottle might spill or something...and it will relieve some of the pressure to remember everything.

Re: I am regretting my decision to send DD to daycare...

I feel your pain in your post. The part where you said your DD for the first time ever grabbed the bottle from your hands and fed herself, that brings tears to my eyes.

Is there anyway you can change your decision? Will you lose a lot of $? I cannot imagine juggling all of that, I would crack so I can imagine how frustrated you are.

Re: I am regretting my decision to send DD to daycare...

It's a lot in the beginning, but once you get a routine, it gets a lot better! Even if you didn't bring her to daycare, wouldn't you still feel like you have to prepare things the night before?
How old is she? Do they eventually provide meals?

When Ryan was younger, I left a bunch of jars/baby food for him for the week -and a can of puffs. Bottles were a PITA (esp. b/c I was nursing and had to defrost/pump/sterilize, etc)

Once he moved off bottles and onto cups and ate off their menu (although I still send a yogurt daily as back up if he doesn't like what they provide) it got A LOT easier!

That said, if you think a nanny will suit your family better - you should def. look into it!!

Re: I am regretting my decision to send DD to daycare...

its hard. but it does get better
Getting into a routine takes time. I always over packed for daycare. My hubby thought I was crazy. We'd wake up extra early so i could double check the bag.

Best of luck in whatever you choose.

Re: I am regretting my decision to send DD to daycare...

I've been there...still there and just wanted to offer some hugs

If there is anything I can share to help in anyway (I have no problem sharing the good, the bad and the ugly) please let me know.

But for now...take this time to vent and here are some more hugs

Re: I am regretting my decision to send DD to daycare...

Thanks everyone. I know it will get easier, but I am just so tired NOW. Ugh. I feel more overwhelmed than ever and I on't know how the Moms with two (ahem...jen...) do it.

As for her not eating between 12-5, she gets a bottle at home around 7 AM. Then she gets her fruit and cereal at around 10:30. I am assuming lunch is at 12 and the late afternoon snack(mashed sweet potatoes) must be around 3 or 3:30 if the first pick-ups are at 4:30. i am assuming that she didn't get a bottle between 12 and 5.

The annoying part was that the worker kept telling me that she thought DD was thirsty and that she needed snacks like cheerios or puffs when meanwhile, she needed a good ol' bottle. (Her last of the day.)

Anyway, like Veronica said, I totally packed her a HUGE bag for tomorrow with puffs, a sippy w/ water, 2 RTF bottles of formula, her morning fruit & cereal and pasta with carrots for her "snack."

And I labeled them all with Mabel's labels (Thanks to Jenben for the rec.)

Re: I am regretting my decision to send DD to daycare...

if your sister can watch your DD I would absolutely do that over daycare!!! she would feel more comfortable with her family

Re: I am regretting my decision to send DD to daycare...

Tell them what time you want your DD to eat - they should accommodate your wishes esp if she is in an infant room. (I can't remember how old she is)

My DD is in the toddler room and they are eat breakfast from 6:30-9am depending what time you get there, morning snack around 10am, lunch at 11:30. Then naptime starts at 12. DD usually gets up around 2-2:30. Afternoon snack around 3:30 and then her last sippy of milk around 4:30-5.

Re: I am regretting my decision to send DD to daycare...

Going back to work is overwhelming. Your child's first few weeks in daycare is overwhelming.
At all daycares my children have been to, snacks were always provided. I am surprised you have to pack so much.
What you might want to do is get her enough snacks for the week and bring them all in on Monday morning. Label them and explain that you cannot bring them everyday. it is just too much.
Then enlist your husband to help. I agree, that it might be hard for him to do everything alone ...at first...but with some practice and a check list he would be fine. Let him get her bottles ready every morning. Bring in some formula to the school and leave it there "just in case" you ever forget it again. most will do that.
lay out all of the clothes the night before- I agree this is a huge help.
Also, don't put so much pressure on you to be perfect. My children have had oatmeal for dinner some days ..and they are healthy and just fine. Sometimes you just need to know that it will get better.
Give this adjustment period some time and if you still feel a nanny is better for your family then begin to look into it.

Re: I am regretting my decision to send DD to daycare...

I feel your pain. DD is also on week 2. I feel like this week is easier than last week, and I hope that next week is easier than this week.

Hang in there. I remember last year with all the mommies sending their kids to daycare for the first time - the ladies around here were incredible.

Re: I am regretting my decision to send DD to daycare...

Give it a couple of weeks once you get into a routine you will be fine....

Re: I am regretting my decision to send DD to daycare...

I dread the ""getting ready process - and for me, I have to send in his lunches because he is vegetarian. It's like Christmas for me when they have a lunch he can eat on the menu that day.

It gets better - she will get booooored being home all day with a nanny! Daycare is wonderful - he loves going, and that makes it worth the extra effort in the morning - is t tiring? Yes! But everything is when you have kids!!!

Re: I am regretting my decision to send DD to daycare...

I read this in the morning as DH was taking my 7 month old DS to day care for the first time.

Today was heartbreaking for me, but I just called and heard he is doing great.

I know exactly how you feel...it's awful but I do agree that the socialization is something that is so important.

Hang in there...I know I'm trying to get through it. I know its going to get easier (I hope!).

Re: I am regretting my decision to send DD to daycare...

I'm sorry you're having a tough time. It definitely takes a while to wash and prepare bottles and get everything ready for the day. You should get into a routine soon though and it will get a little easier.

Does your daycare provide a sheet with DD's activities, feedings, diaper changes, etc? When DS started daycare, I gave them instructions on when he gets a bottle (every 3-4 hours) and when he gets food (30-60 minutes after a bottle). If he goes longer between feedings, he may not have a 3rd bottle at daycare, but I always bring one.

I hope things get easier for you.