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groovypeg
:)
Member since 5/05 2423 total posts
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I am so frustrated I could cry (long) *update in last post
This is the 2nd call today from daycare that Hannah is biting. So in the last 2 weeks this makes 5 attempts of biting or making contact.
I don't know what to do. She is an only child and does not bite at home. We take music classes and does not bite there. If she bites one more time today they will kick her her out for the week.
I deal with this behavior all day at my job and I just dont understand why this is happening.
They reprimand her when she bites, but then they make her hug the kid and make nice. my concerns with that is that she is learning an inappropriate chain of behaviors: i bite my friend then i hug my friend. she is 19 months old. how much remorse does she really understand?
i am practically in tears here at work.
sorry so long, i just needed to vent.
Message edited 1/16/2008 9:41:03 AM.
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Posted 1/15/08 11:08 AM  |
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nrthshgrl
It goes fast. Pay attention.
Member since 7/05 57538 total posts
Name:
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Re: I am so frustrated I could cry (long)
How is she verbally?
From what I remember the biting stage was more of frustration & not being able to verbalize her needs/wants.
She doesn't do it at home because you are more in tuned to what she wants than another 18 month old is. You also probably don't grab her toys.
If it helps you feel better, I've been there too. Joseph was kicked out of a daycare & kindergarten. Thank God for public school!
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| Posted 1/15/08 11:17 AM |
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JRG71
*****************
Member since 5/05 5025 total posts
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Re: I am so frustrated I could cry (long)
Posted by nrthshgrl
How is she verbally?
From what I remember the biting stage was more of frustration & not being able to verbalize her needs/wants.
She doesn't do it at home because you are more in tuned to what she wants than another 18 month old is. You also probably don't grab her toys.
If it helps you feel better, I've been there too. Joseph was kicked out of a daycare & kindergarten. Thank God for public school!
I was going to ask about her verbal skills too. It's usually when they can't communicate that they bite.
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| Posted 1/15/08 11:18 AM |
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MrsBumbleb
it's me
Member since 5/05 11234 total posts
Name:
Christine
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Re: I am so frustrated I could cry (long)
There is a child in Roman's class who has bitten NUMEROUS times (like at least 10 times) He has a speech problem (21 months old) and he can not be evaluated yet supposedly until he is two. Their solution is to give him his binky back which I don't agree with and it doesn't seem to be working anyway.
Maybe they can have someone shadow her and redirect her when it does go to happen?
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| Posted 1/15/08 11:35 AM |
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nrthshgrl
It goes fast. Pay attention.
Member since 7/05 57538 total posts
Name:
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Re: I am so frustrated I could cry (long)
Posted by MrsBumbleb
Maybe they can have someone shadow her and redirect her when it does go to happen?
I have to say I agree. I don't think this is so much of an issue with Hannah as it is with the teachers not handling it correctly. All kids are little vampires when they don't get their way & don't know the words to use.
I know my kid's daycare teachers were constantly saying"Use your words!" and then we would hear the little kids say "I FUSTADED!" (frustrated).
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| Posted 1/15/08 11:52 AM |
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curley999
Family!
Member since 5/05 2314 total posts
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Re: I am so frustrated I could cry (long)
I dont really know of a solution, but I have empathy for you as my older DD went thru a very long phase of biting. It was horrible and so embarassing. We used time outs at home, but it didnt realy "solve" the problem. I agree that shadowing her at daycare and re-directing her is the best approach if possible.
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| Posted 1/15/08 12:02 PM |
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CookiePuss
Cake from Outer Space!
Member since 5/05 14021 total posts
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Re: I am so frustrated I could cry (long)
Posted by nrthshgrl
Posted by MrsBumbleb
Maybe they can have someone shadow her and redirect her when it does go to happen?
I have to say I agree. I don't think this is so much of an issue with Hannah as it is with the teachers not handling it correctly. All kids are little vampires when they don't get their way & don't know the words to use.
I know my kid's daycare teachers were constantly saying"Use your words!" and then we would hear the little kids say "I FUSTADED!" (frustrated).
I agree. I don't see how removing her for a week will help remedy the situation at all.
Is it possible she is biting because it brings her attention? Once she bites, she gets at least one teacher's attention. When are the incidents occurring? Is it at all possible to avoid situations where she feels compelled to bite? What have her teachers brought to the table in effort to stop this behavior? If she's biting during free play, maybe she can be made a teacher's helper with the other kids. Maybe the option of attention for good behavior will help decrease the biting.
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| Posted 1/15/08 12:25 PM |
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dandr10199
Grace is growing up too fast!
Member since 10/05 11561 total posts
Name:
Dina
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Re: I am so frustrated I could cry (long)
No advice, just
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| Posted 1/15/08 12:37 PM |
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ChrisDee
My Girls
Member since 11/06 9543 total posts
Name:
Christine
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Re: I am so frustrated I could cry (long)
My DD was not a biter but was bitten in preschool pretty badly on the arm along with another child who was bitten on the head so bad he was bleeding. It turned out the little boy who was doing the biting was having a language/communication issue. He would get frustrated and bite. He did need to have this issue addressed or he would have continued to bite. Its a hard situation for everyone involed but one that needs to be addressed.
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| Posted 1/15/08 1:23 PM |
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groovypeg
:)
Member since 5/05 2423 total posts
Name:
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Re: I am so frustrated I could cry (long)
just wanted to update:
i spoke with the director and they feel like the behavior is not being addressed appropriately (duh!). the teacher is using alot of words and is giving her soooo much attention for the biting that we suspect that she is doing it for attention.
my dh observed her for a long time yesterday in daycare and then also talked to the directors about a plan of action.
hopefully today will be a better day!
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| Posted 1/16/08 9:40 AM |
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aja
my princess
Member since 10/05 2936 total posts
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Re: I am so frustrated I could cry (long) *update in last post
I hope it works out ...let us know how it goes.
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| Posted 1/16/08 9:43 AM |
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ChrisDee
My Girls
Member since 11/06 9543 total posts
Name:
Christine
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Re: I am so frustrated I could cry (long) *update in last post
Good Luck today!
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| Posted 1/16/08 9:44 AM |
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nrthshgrl
It goes fast. Pay attention.
Member since 7/05 57538 total posts
Name:
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Re: I am so frustrated I could cry (long) *update in last post
Glad to hear there is a plan in place.
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| Posted 1/16/08 9:48 AM |
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Matteos-mommy
Can't believe I'm 2
Member since 12/07 1260 total posts
Name:
L.
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Re: I am so frustrated I could cry (long) *update in last post
I have worked in day cares in the past and they way we dealt with biting was to tell the child who bit someone that it was not okay to bite. That our teeth were for biting.....(an appropriate food/item for that age) and then bring the child to that item. Maybe you could suggest that to your day care so they are giving as much attention to the behavior.
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| Posted 1/16/08 9:55 AM |
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ckone
LIF Adult
Member since 8/06 3014 total posts
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Re: I am so frustrated I could cry (long) *update in last post
It sounds like something is obviously frustrating your child. It could be that she's annoyed and this is, unfortunately, how she's reacting to it. Im sure that she know that already. It's hard because children can't verbailize what os bothering them. I look at it from their point of view, if I wanted a toy and some one kept pulling and pulling and wouldn't leave me alone. I've pushed them away - said no a million times - I might bite too.
There are some great articles online about the behavior - maybe do a google search.
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| Posted 1/16/08 11:03 AM |
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Re: I am so frustrated I could cry (long) *update in last post
I hope today is a better day!! Glad something got resolved!
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| Posted 1/16/08 11:15 AM |
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Re: I am so frustrated I could cry (long) *update in last post
I am glad Eric is on it - I'm sure this will be fixed in no time - btw - I used to be a biter!!! 
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| Posted 1/16/08 1:58 PM |
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Janice
Sweet Jessie Quinn
Member since 5/05 27567 total posts
Name:
Janice
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Re: I am so frustrated I could cry (long) *update in last post
thanks for posting this! Your honesty was really helpful. I had no idea why the biting occurs, but now I am ready for it if Josh's chompers start coming out.
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| Posted 1/16/08 2:05 PM |
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