I am soooo upset...almost livid right now!!!!

Sorry to rant but I need to be somewhere where I feel somewhat understood.....and sorry it's a lil long!

Long story as short as possible.....

DS's birthday was yesterday (pics later!) and his friend from DC's was on Saturday....they were both invited to each others birthday parties because they are pretty tight in DC.

Anyway.....DS's teacher approaches me on Wednesday telling me that Gavin's friend E's parents want to do cupcakes on Friday....
I'm thinking they want to organize something for the boys to celebrate together so I ask what I can bring. THe teacher tells me that E's parents want to do ONLY E's birthday on Friday.....oohhhhhh! OK....that's kinda weird but OK, we'll celebrate DS's birthday Monday and get pizza.
Fine, no problem.

Come Friday........E is out sick......no cupcakes obviously.
Saturday E's mom calls and speaks to DH....E can't come to DS's party on Sunday because he's sick. DH sends his get well and happy birthday wishes.....no problem.

Last night I said to DH.....I bet you E's mom shows up on Monday with E's cupcakes....wouldn't THAT be something??????

Well, this morning I come in lugging not only my son, but leftover cake for the staff and cupcakes for the kids.......along with the pizza ordered for lunch.
I walk into DS's classroom and his teacher tells me that she will send the kids home with the Gavin's cupcakes because E's mom brought his birthday cake for today......

no she didn't!!!!!

I calmly said to the teacher "actually no, you will have to serve the cake tomorrow because upon the request of E's mother....TODAY is my son's birthday celebration".
I apologized for being short about it, but this is the way E's parents requested it and although he was sick, that's no reason to infringe on my son's birthday. She understood and I left.

I was so mad I called DH and he said that although it is insensitive and thoughtless, it's about a 2 year old's birthday, not his parents. I agreed and spoke to the front and asked them to tell the teacher the cake was OK. Even the assistant director thought the whole thing was odd.

With that said, I am still so p!ssed at this kids parents for not even asking if it was OK! They called to tell us their son couldn't attend the party, why couldn't they at least have asked if it was OK to bring the cake on Monday?????

This is further proof that this woman believes her child is better than everyone else and the center of the universe and that she doesn't have to clear things with anyone before doing things.

Just a little back story....both of our sons got hurt at the same time one week and when I saw her with her son in the hallway I asked how her son was feeling and told E that Gavin got hurt too....she replies not with an "Oh I hope he's OK" but "Well, my son got 2nd degree stitches"......OK, you win! Your son is "better" than mine....

I didn't even want to invite E to the party because his mother rubbed me the wrong way but DH insisted, saying it's about the kids, and he's right.

I thought it extremely rude, insensitive, and just plain selfish to not even ASK while you are on the phone with us. Of course I would never say no, but I am convinced she is the type of person who constantly drills into her son's head how fabulous and special her son is...all the while never teaching him that there are other people in this world besides him.....what a shame.

None of this would bother me if it hadn't been started by E's parents in the first place! And now I can't even say anything about how selfish they were because I don't want to start any drama.....so they can just go on thinking they can do things like this and it's OK.....

I am really still livid about this and it's hours later!

Sorry for the rant, and if anyone has any advice it's always appreciated...

Re: I am soooo upset...almost livid right now!!!!

I'd be pretty p i s s e d, too!

Message edited 11/9/2009 1:27:52 PM.

Re: I am soooo upset...almost livid right now!!!!

The thing that REALLY pisses me off about this story is how the DC teacher told YOU that Gavin's cupcakes would be given to bring home


uh _---NO!!! this was his day!!She should have at least said it will be a celebration for BOTH of them today

Re: I am soooo upset...almost livid right now!!!!

Gina, I would definitely be mad too. Unfortunately, with some parents, it's only going to get worse once he starts school.

Re: I am soooo upset...almost livid right now!!!!

Posted by InShock

I'd be pretty p i s s e d, too!

Re: I am soooo upset...almost livid right now!!!!

Re: I am soooo upset...almost livid right now!!!!

Re: I am soooo upset...almost livid right now!!!!

It seems to me that the problem started when the teacher let the other parents insist on separate celebrations. That's what outside parties are for.

I tend to be more laid about about this stuff I think. As long as the other kids sang Happy Birthday to my kid today it wouldn't have bothered me if they got the other cake today and took home my cupcakes.

I'm sorry they upset you.

Re: I am soooo upset...almost livid right now!!!!

Posted by hannahsmom

Gina, I would definitely be mad too. Unfortunately, with some parents, it's only going to get worse once he starts school.

Re: I am soooo upset...almost livid right now!!!!

Posted by CathyB

It seems to me that the problem started when the teacher let the other parents insist on separate celebrations. That's what outside parties are for.

I tend to be more laid about about this stuff I think. As long as the other kids sang Happy Birthday to my kid today it wouldn't have bothered me if they got the other cake today and took home my cupcakes.

I'm sorry they upset you.

Re: I am soooo upset...almost livid right now!!!!

When E's parents came in today with birthday goodies, the DC should of told them that per their request, both kids would have seperate celebrations. Since E was out on Friday, today was Gavin's birthday celebration therefore the kids can either go home with the goodies OR they can celebrate tomorrow. The DC should of also mentioned to E's parents that situations like this is the reason why seperate birthday's can cause problems.

NOTHING should of been brought to your attention by the DC. As much as I want to tell you NOT to say anything because you are probably better off letting this go....knowing me..I wouldn't be able to hold it in...Someway I would make sure to let her know that she is a moran!!!

Message edited 11/9/2009 1:47:35 PM.

Re: I am soooo upset...almost livid right now!!!!

Posted by Sweets13

When E's parents came in today with birthday goodies, the DC should of told them that per their request, both kids would have seperate celebrations. Since E was out on Friday, today was Gavin's birthday celebration therefore the kids can either go home with the goodies OR they can celebrate tomorrow. The DC should of also mentioned to E's parents that situations like this is the reason why seperate birthday's can cause problems.

NOTHING should of been brought to your attention by the DC. As much as I want to tell you NOT to say anything because you are probably better off letting this go....knowing me..I wouldn't be able to hold it in...Someway I would make sure to let her know that she is a moran!!!

Re: I am soooo upset...almost livid right now!!!!

You have every right to be angry! I would be too! I'm glad you stood up for yourself and set the teacher straight. Where does she get off trying to postpone Gavin's party?

E's mom sounds like one of those that has to one-up on everything. If you have a cold, I bet she has the flu. For your sake, I hope Gavin's friendship with him is short lived.

Re: I am soooo upset...almost livid right now!!!!

That really stinks. The teacher should have told the parents that they can bring it in the next day, not on your DC's Birthday celebration.

Re: I am soooo upset...almost livid right now!!!!

Posted by mom2aidan

Posted by InShock

I'd be pretty p i s s e d, too!

So would I - honestly, I'm a little surprised at the teacher as well - she should have told E's mom that today was Gavin's celebration and that E's cake would be served tomorrow!!!

Re: I am soooo upset...almost livid right now!!!!

Posted by pickles16

Posted by mom2aidan

Posted by InShock

I'd be pretty p i s s e d, too!

So would I - honestly, I'm a little surprised at the teacher as well - she should have told E's mom that today was Gavin's celebration and that E's cake would be served tomorrow!!!

ITA!!!!

Re: I am soooo upset...almost livid right now!!!!

I can't believe the nerve. Some people are very "me" people and raise their children to be "me" people. I can't stomach it. I used to see it all the time working at Chuck E. Cheese...

I would be a little upset that this bully of a mom got the teachers to do everything she wanted..

Re: I am soooo upset...almost livid right now!!!!

So would I - honestly, I'm a little surprised at the teacher as well - she should have told E's mom that today was Gavin's celebration and that E's cake would be served tomorrow!!!


ITA!!!!

I absolutely agree with this also. Its partially the teacher's fault for not telling E's mom that today was Gavin's celebration and that E's cake would be served the next day - after all she did agree to have E have his separate celebration, right?
BUT -
I agree with you for being so upset. First off - its completely ridiculous for having a child do a separate birthday party - I still don't get what the big deal would of been to have both kids celebrate with their teacher and classmates on the same day? It just doesn't make sense to me. With that said - I would keep away from this woman - just because the kids are friends doesn't mean you have to be friends with his parents.

My advice would be to continue to be the better person - you could kindly mention to the teacher how ridiculous this whole situation got - when in reality it was supposed to be a simple day for the boys to enjoy their birthday with their classmates and teacher.....

Message edited 11/9/2009 3:24:46 PM.

Re: I am soooo upset...almost livid right now!!!!

I would be really mad and upset too. Im not looking forward to dealing with parents like that...

Re: I am soooo upset...almost livid right now!!!!

Re: I am soooo upset...almost livid right now!!!!

You have every right to be angry, at both E's parents & the daycare. IMHO, the daycare missed the opportunity to teach both parent and child a lesson when they agreed to accomodate the wish to have E's bday celebration separate and apart from your son's.

I'm sorry you had to deal with this today, but I thank you for the warning, as DD's b-day is next month and she shares the actual day with a little boy in her class. I'll be on the lookout for such behavior now.

Re: I am soooo upset...almost livid right now!!!!

NERVE!! I'm pizzzed adn it didn't even happen to me

Re: I am soooo upset...almost livid right now!!!!

Posted by curliegirl



And DH still thinks I'm making a big deal out of it...even though he agrees......why does he have to be so easygoing?

Re: I am soooo upset...almost livid right now!!!!

Wow--some people have some nerve!!!! I can't believe how rude some people can be! I would have been just as upset! On a side note, Happy Bday Gavin!!

Re: I am soooo upset...almost livid right now!!!!

I would like to offer a day care point of view...

If this woman acts this way with other parents I can almost bet that she is 20x's worse to the day care staff. So the teacher probably thinks you are more easy going hence why she did what she did. Was it right? No way!I'm sure the teacher felt bad when she saw how upset you were.
Now at my day care when 2 kids have weekend birthdays we have the Sat b-day take Fri and the Sun b-day take Mon. Which is what they did. Once that kid was sick Mon was still your DS's day and they should of told the mother (in fact when he was out sick on Fri I would have called the mother and said we will celebrate E's b-day on Tuesday since Gavin's celebration is on Monday)

As upset as you are try to remember that the teacher is trying to accommodate a classroom full of kids/parents. Parents who are very demanding will try to get their way all the time.
They definitely should of handled it better but I am betting they did what they did because you are an easy parent and she is not (Still doesn't make it right though)