I am sorry to bother everyone again...LONG VENT!

But I am SOOO pizzed off right now! I posted a few weeks ago about how DH and I are moving to CT for many reasons, mainly for his job and the raise he received. Also b/c we are looking to move somewhere closer to home that isn't as expensive as LI..

Today, my dad calls DH and asks him if he is happy with my decision to leave my job. He then proceeds tot alk about all the benefits I am leaving ( I am teacher here on LI and this is my tenure year) My parents are so upset that I am leaving my job b/c of the tenure. I Have been talking with the union president to help me.. I will be taking a one year leave to see how things go with DH's new position and to also hold onto the opportunity to get tenure if I decided to come back...and after I take my leave, I am hoping to find something ( I've been a teacher for five years) I am just so sad

and insulted that all they can think about is all this stuff and not my dh's four hour commute to CT each day or our happiness as a married couple. I feel like I have to constantly explain myself and I am just so sick of it! I am really unhappy b/c he also told dh that his phone call to him was a warning b/c he plans on telling me how disappointed and unhappy he is with my decision... and that I prob wont talk to him for a while??!!! what's that about????? I am totally not like that... meanwhile.. it's not about him, and not HIS life!

What is your opinion on this... I need advice ... TIA

Re: I am sorry to bother everyone again...LONG VENT!

Re: I am sorry to bother everyone again...LONG VENT!

u need to do what's best for u and your dh

Re: I am sorry to bother everyone again...LONG VENT!

Re: I am sorry to bother everyone again...LONG VENT!

I can relate. What your dad is doing is wrong. You need to do what's best for YOU and DH. Life is full of hard decisions, and sometimes you have to sacrifice to make things better for yourself. It will be difficult, but your parents should talk to you about it, not DH. It will be a hard transition to move away, but it will make your marriage soooo much better. Good luck.

And if it doesn't work you can always come back. Nothings ever definate.

Message edited 4/24/2006 10:17:18 PM.

Re: I am sorry to bother everyone again...LONG VENT!

Posted by Aliasmom

Posted by bklyngirl

u need to do what's best for u and your dh

I completely agree.

you and your husband are a family and need to do what you think it's best. Good Luck with the job search.

Re: I am sorry to bother everyone again...LONG VENT!

I am sorry to say that I don't have any advice really. I do understand how you are feeling. I have been in the situation before where I am making a big decision and my mom will see all the negatives before seeing the positives. It can be really frustrating sometimes. I don't know your dad, but maybe he is just worried for you or maybe he is sad about you moving to another state. Once the change actually takes place and he sees that you are adjusted to it, his tune will probably be different.

You shouldn't have to explain yourself at all. Tell him that he has the right to his own feelings/opinions just as you have the right as an adult to make your own choices. As long as you and DH are satisfied with your decision, that is all that matters. Good luck!

Re: I am sorry to bother everyone again...LONG VENT!

I am so sorry that you are going through this

You have to do what is best for you and DH and to hell with anyone who does not agree.

FM if I can do anything

Re: I am sorry to bother everyone again...LONG VENT!

I am sorry you have to go through this. It sounds like your dad 'isn't willing or ready to let go of his little girl'. That is very sad because by doing the things he is doing he is pushing you farther apart and it is not right at all. But in the end you MUST do what is best for you & your DH & your life together.

Good Luck.

Re: I am sorry to bother everyone again...LONG VENT!

thanks SOOO much for the advice!!! I truly appreciate it!


you ladies are the best....

I feel like I want to call my parents and tell them how I really feel... but I do appreciate your advice!!

Re: I am sorry to bother everyone again...LONG VENT!

I think you need to do what is best for you and your family. A four hour commute is ridiculous. I did the opposite commute from CT to NY and it was so draining - it ate up my life. I had a friend who did the same as you: made tenor and then moved to CT. She was absolutely happy in CT. She loved her new school and made more money (On average CT teachers are the highest paid in the country). Tell your parents to butt out, this is what is best for your family! GOOD LUCK!

Re: I am sorry to bother everyone again...LONG VENT!

Just wanted to send you hugs Jenn!!

Re: I am sorry to bother everyone again...LONG VENT!

It sounds more like your parents are upset that you are moving away from them, and are using the job as a way to guilt you into staying. You have to do what's best for you two, and your parents will come around.