I dont know what to do...

The friend that I mentioned the other day about seeing the married man and justifying it, doesn't get it. I asked her not to mention him to me and she just slips into every conversation, to a point where I am starting to sound nasty and say I've got to go. I really dont want to talk to her any more. The worse part is, she thinks I am wrong for not being "happy" for her.

Re: I dont know what to do...

How can you be happy for someone when they are seeing a married man?? I wouldn't talk to her, but that is JMO.

Re: I dont know what to do...

I mean really what is happy about that!

Re: I dont know what to do...

I agree, at this point, your friend knows your feelings on the subject but continues to discuss it. I would honestly distance myself from her and hopefully she get the friggin hint.

Re: I dont know what to do...

I would try to tell her one last time, politely, that her relationship with this man is (a) an insult to you and your marriage, and (b) an insult to the institution of marriage in general. Does she not have any sympathy for the poor wife. If she still doesn't get it, I would tell her to call you when she realizes what a jerk she's being.

Re: I dont know what to do...

Your friend isn't this 'poor wife's' problem, her cheating husband is - If he's not going to cheat w/ your friend, he'd be cheating with someone else ..........


My worry would be the fact that my friend has SO little self worth she would accep, and be happy being the 'other woman' .....Can you try to spin your story that way ? Maybe she'll g'et it' ?

If not, you are completely justified in not speaking to her - If you've told her how this relationship makes you feel, you obviously don't condone it........if she can't understand why you are uncomfortable discussing it, that's her issue -

Message edited 8/1/2007 10:24:57 AM.

Re: I dont know what to do...

I would actually tell her that it upsets you that she's disrespecting HERSELF like this and that's why you can't stand it. She deserves better than to be the other woman -- not to mention that she is showing no respect for the institution of marriage itself. Tell her you find it to be an insult to herself and EVERY marriage.

I'd also tell her that you only want to be friends with people who will understand and respect the sanctity of every marriage, including your own. Tell her you're insulted by her actions and cannot support her.

I'd also be hanging up on her if she continued to talk about it.

Message edited 8/1/2007 11:15:03 AM.

Re: I dont know what to do...

Sometimes being a friend is standing by them when they make poor choices and don't live the way we feel. I have friends that I definately don't agree with how they live or the choices they make but that doesn't mean I don't talk them, unless they are directly saying or doing something to hurt me or my family. She seems to have low self esteem or probably doesn't think she can do better. I certainly don't condone going out with a married man, but it is her business. Eventually she will see that it is a losing battle with this guy. P.S., This is more the guys fault for cheating on his wife.