I feel like my stepdaughters don't really like me....

I think I have been too hard on them because I have been stressed with so much, and they don't want much to do with me...

My youngest stepdaughter calls and asks to speak to daddy without even saying hi to me.... it hurts

Re: I feel like my stepdaughters don't really like me....

I honestly think there's just ups and downs...especially I think you said your SD's are teenagers, right? Teenagers in general are so difficult.

Why don't you do a girls day? Like go get manis/pedis and do lunch. I do that with my SD and it's fun. She loves it and it's just her and I. I'm sure if you ask them, they'll be totally willing and want to hang out with you.

Re: I feel like my stepdaughters don't really like me....

Posted by legallyblonde


I honestly think there's just ups and downs...especially I think you said your SD's are teenagers, right? Teenagers in general are so difficult.

Why don't you do a girls day? Like go get manis/pedis and do lunch. I do that with my SD and it's fun. She loves it and it's just her and I. I'm sure if you ask them, they'll be totally willing and want to hang out with you.

Re: I feel like my stepdaughters don't really like me....

I was going to suggest the same thing as the other poster (mani/pedi) but your right that can be expensive. Do they stay over on the weekends if they do what about taking them to block buster and having them pick out the movie and get some snacks and spend some time with them that way? Just a thought. What girls don't like to pig out sometimes

Re: I feel like my stepdaughters don't really like me....

Girls are tough, even when they are biological and especially at the funny teenage years....I agree w/ everyone, try to come up with something you can do with them, even if it means asking them something simple like helping you pick out something for the house, or an outfit, do your hair for you- something like that, just to get that connection back

Re: I feel like my stepdaughters don't really like me....

The problem is their mom takes them out shopping for everything all the time - so doing one little thing is nothing compared to all the things she gets to do (essentially with the child support money, which is why we dpn't have the money to do things with them...)

Also, DH picks them up late, so by the time they come over, I'm tired.

There were some days that DH was working on Saturdays, so I was responsible for them and the baby pretty much all weekend. I told DH the other night that I feel like they hate me now because I really couldn't be "fun." I asked them to help a bit, and everytime I turned around they were just leaving messes. It was frustrataing and I turned into a witch....

Its my fault, and DH even says they have distanced themselves from me. I feel they just want time with DH, and there isn't enough of him. They don't want that time with me anyway....

Re: I feel like my stepdaughters don't really like me....

Oh that stinks! And paying lots of child support totally sux. 18 has recently become my favorite number

Are you going to have the girls this weekend? Is it possible for you to leave your little guy with your DH or someone and take the girls to the beach or a park? Or what about going for a bike ride? I'm going to try to keep thinking of ideas for you.

I can understand what you are saying about them making a mess and you getting agitated. I don't have a toddler but I work a lot so cleaning is a major project to me (please don't ask when the last time I really cleaned my house was..LOL). When I come home to dirty glasses all over the place, toys everywhere, clothes thrown all over the place, I blow a total hissy. And now I'm the b!tch. So I hear you. Meanwhile, I'm sure BM is on them for the same stuff but since you aren't BM that's not okay.

As an aside I find it very funny that we call the SC's bio mom's BM's for short. It's so fitting! LOL

Re: I feel like my stepdaughters don't really like me....

Posted by legallyblonde

Oh that stinks! And paying lots of child support totally sux. 18 has recently become my favorite number



You might want to check on the above I was just told it was changed to 21 even if they don't go to college.

Re: I feel like my stepdaughters don't really like me....

Posted by my3boys

Posted by legallyblonde

Oh that stinks! And paying lots of child support totally sux. 18 has recently become my favorite number



You might want to check on the above I was just told it was changed to 21 even if they don't go to college.

DH is done paying @ 18 too,, I dont know how that can be changed witout going to court

Re: I feel like my stepdaughters don't really like me....

Posted by toni-mike

Posted by my3boys

Posted by legallyblonde

Oh that stinks! And paying lots of child support totally sux. 18 has recently become my favorite number



You might want to check on the above I was just told it was changed to 21 even if they don't go to college.

DH is done paying @ 18 too,, I dont know how that can be changed witout going to court

Parents have the legal responsibility to support their child until the child is 21 years old.

that was statement was taken right off the New York State child support website

Re: I feel like my stepdaughters don't really like me....

Posted by MamaNDaddyof3

Posted by toni-mike

Posted by my3boys

Posted by legallyblonde

Oh that stinks! And paying lots of child support totally sux. 18 has recently become my favorite number



You might want to check on the above I was just told it was changed to 21 even if they don't go to college.

DH is done paying @ 18 too,, I dont know how that can be changed witout going to court

Parents have the legal responsibility to support their child until the child is 21 years old.

that was statement was taken right off the New York State child support website

Oh now you all just ruined my day! LOL Well, if I have any say in it, SD is absolutely going to college so we would be paying half of that anyway. I would have no problem paying for things for her. I just can't stand that we cut her crazy mother a check every month.

Sorry to hijack the thread with that!

Re: I feel like my stepdaughters don't really like me....

they like you, they are just girls. They go through phases.
We had a MAJOR milestone here, my DSD14 actually has a picture of her & I and this right on the front page of her myspace
"kelly-
you know that crazy relative related by marriage that you're sooo glad isnt blood? well yeah thats kinda her. like shes seriously insane. its kinda scary. but in that funny way. whether i like it or not, i do love her and she's pretty amazing. "





It only took 8.5 years but she admitted she LOVES ME!!!!

They come around, its just hard as hell taking the high road until they do!

Re: I feel like my stepdaughters don't really like me....

Posted by my3boys

Posted by legallyblonde

Oh that stinks! And paying lots of child support totally sux. 18 has recently become my favorite number



You might want to check on the above I was just told it was changed to 21 even if they don't go to college.

He pays until 21...

And the Biomom does not care about cleanliness at all. Know those homes they feature on Oprah that are horrible? I am not exaggerating at all - their home looks like that. To say its disgusting is an understatement. Its disturbing and sad.....

Re: I feel like my stepdaughters don't really like me....

It may be that they are jealous of the baby & the time you spend with him. I think the same thing is/was going on with my SD's (they are 22 & 17) but have had my full attention, etc. since they moved in with us 5 years ago & they notice that I don't have the time for them as much now.

Once I noticed this, I made a point of talking to them more & doing little things (money is very tight with us). I try to have the younger one go food shopping with me so we can spend time & talk. I take or pick up her & her friends when they go out & make sure we all talk, etc. Even if its about nothing, it's not about the baby! I think they are tired of all our focus on her sometimes & they act out.

Good luck.