I feel like such a bad person/momma to be

Before I got PG, I swore that I would never complain (I was really sick prior with my RA) and I would cherish every moment. It was not exactly easy to get PG and for me personally, it was a long and painful time because I couldn't take the medications for my RA that really made a difference. I also know how some women have such a hard time and I promised that I wouldn't complain.

Well, that was then. I never thought I would feel this miserable and sick. I am trying so hard to keep positive and honestly, I am thrilled to be PG. I cannot wait to be a mommy. But I feel like I have a virus every day. I am so sick with reflux and nausea. I have terrible migraines (another one today) and there is nothing I can do, because I don't want to take a painkiller. I am upset and feel like a bad person because I know how hard it was to get here and I also know how so many women would want to be PG and have so much trouble and I feel terribly guilty for feeling how I do. I just want to feel back to normal and be able to enjoy being pregnant. I feel like there is no light at the end of the tunnel and I will never feel like myself again. Don't get me wrong, there are positives-besides my little bean, my RA is finally in remission for the first time since being diagnosed 10 years ago. But I drag every day. I am so scared about taking the Bar next week between the migraine headaches, the exhaustion, and the m/s. I just want to lay in bed and sleep and wake up in the 2nd tri feeling semi-human. I know that many girls feel this sick or even sicker 1st tri and I know that it is a good thing because it means a healthy baby, which is paramount for me, but I can't help but want to cry.

If you got this far, thanks. I am sorry for being Debbie Downer

Re: I feel like such a bad person/momma to be

Don't feel bad about complaining. I went through 2.5 yrs of infertility and a m/c and i've complained a few times when I always said I wouldn't. It's easy to say you won't before you experience pregnancy. It's a long 9 months and not a piece or cake for everyone!

Re: I feel like such a bad person/momma to be

Normal. see?

Re: I feel like such a bad person/momma to be

Thanks guys! You rock!

Re: I feel like such a bad person/momma to be

michelle, it's very easy for someone to say what they will or won't do before they've been there. i know there are mommies out there (not speaking about LIF, just life in general) who begrudge a pregnant woman her complaining because they would kill to be in her shoes.

what they don't know is that when they get there, they may feel the same, if not worse!

just because you complain doesn't mean you don't love your little bean

Re: I feel like such a bad person/momma to be

Posted by headoverheels

michelle, it's very easy for someone to say what they will or won't do before they've been there. i know there are mommies out there (not speaking about LIF, just life in general) who begrudge a pregnant woman her complaining because they would kill to be in her shoes.

what they don't know is that when they get there, they may feel the same, if not worse!

just because you complain doesn't mean you don't love your little bean

Re: I feel like such a bad person/momma to be

m/s sucks!! Hang in their...what you feel is so normal and doesn't mean you aren't grateful and thrilled to be pregnant. You just wish you felt better...I understand and went through it with my 1st pregnancy and now with the 2nd. I don't enjoy being pregnant...m/s, nausea, heartburn, sciatic nerve issues, acne, easy weight gain etc. I always joke with my DH that my body is allergic to it LOL. but I am so happy to be and can't wait to have my little one. Too bad we cant get pregnant and skip right to giving birth

Re: I feel like such a bad person/momma to be

Your not bad, its not easy dealing with all these ailments at once...it took me a while to get here too and the first almost 4 months were insane. I didnt have "morning sickness" it was all day sickness. either nausea, reflux which i still deal with, the worst sinus headaches and nosebleeds, fatigue like i've never felt (and i have Epstein barr virus, which is known for fatigue). I walked around work like a zombie some days.

Finally at around 16 weeks i started to just get my energy back and feel human again.

you will get there. Hang in there!

Re: I feel like such a bad person/momma to be

I felt like that when I was PG as well. I wanted this baby SOOOO BAD well after VIOLENTLY vomiting 10+ times a day, Iv therapy for rehydration and a HUGE weight loss I was miserable.....

As much as I wanted her I also wanted my life back and not to be so sick..... PG is wonderful for some women and for some of us it sucks!

Complain all you want, that is what this board is for!!!! DOn't worry you aren't a bad mama.... wait until you HAVE the baby and he/she SCREAMS all night and you want to give them back!

THESE are the things that make you a mother!!

Re: I feel like such a bad person/momma to be

Thank you again everyone for putting everything into perspective for me!

Re: I feel like such a bad person/momma to be

Michelle....

We were on TTC together and so I understand that like me you struggled to get pg. I think as people who maybe didn't have it very "easy" to get pg we put unrealistic expectations on ourselves. Like we wanted it soooooooo bad how dare we complain even for 1 second about anything. I am 14w3d and Thursday was the 1st day I felt normal. I have finally given in to Phenergan to help w/hyperemisis and have spent countless days in the ER for rehydration due to this. There is a difference, IMHO, in complaining and ranting and not being thankful. I was throwing up everyday MANY times a day, miserable, unable to get out of bed and work because I was so weak and dehydrated. I can not sleep to save my a** and through it all I just say a prayer the Peanut is ok and laugh when I can and smile through the vomit because at the end of the day I wouldn't change it for the world. The mentality, to me, is what seperates people from complaining and just accepting what is. You are not a bad mom...you, like most of us on here, just are having a rough time, and that is no reason to beat yourself up!

Re: I feel like such a bad person/momma to be

Posted by medic6809

Michelle....

We were on TTC together and so I understand that like me you struggled to get pg. I think as people who maybe didn't have it very "easy" to get pg we put unrealistic expectations on ourselves. Like we wanted it soooooooo bad how dare we complain even for 1 second about anything. I am 14w3d and Thursday was the 1st day I felt normal. I have finally given in to Phenergan to help w/hyperemisis and have spent countless days in the ER for rehydration due to this. There is a difference, IMHO, in complaining and ranting and not being thankful. I was throwing up everyday MANY times a day, miserable, unable to get out of bed and work because I was so weak and dehydrated. I can not sleep to save my a** and through it all I just say a prayer the Peanut is ok and laugh when I can and smile through the vomit because at the end of the day I wouldn't change it for the world. The mentality, to me, is what seperates people from complaining and just accepting what is. You are not a bad mom...you, like most of us on here, just are having a rough time, and that is no reason to beat yourself up!

Re: I feel like such a bad person/momma to be

I am right there with you. I was so happy to get pg. Now I am stuck in bed due to bleeding and I am getting awful headaches. I am just hoping I don't miscarry again. I am in week 9, I just keep telling myself... Three more weeks!!! This doesn't make you a bad person, we are human. I think this just prepares us for what is to come.

Re: I feel like such a bad person/momma to be