I feel so bad for thinking this way...LONG sorry

So, I am going on 3 weeks pregnant with baby # 2. I have my doctor's appointment next week and I will learn my EDD then, but I am figuring mid June, which would make the kids 13 months apart. Now, don't get me wrong, DH and I wanted our kids close together, since we want a big family (3 or 4). And we are SO excited at the thought of having another little one around. BUT, I just can't shake a feeling of sadness. Like I said, DS will be 13 months old when his little brother or sister comes. Which means he will never remember what it was like to be just the 3 of us. I know, I know...children who are not the first born never know that feeling, it's just...I don't know. I feel like we are jipping him of more time alone with us. We knew we would not be waiting until he was 2 or 3 to try again anyway, but now I am in the "WHAT WAS I THINKING DOING IT AGAIN THIS SOON" phase. Maybe it's just my pregnany hormones kicking in, who knows. But I think about how this will be our only Christmas as a family of 3, and other ridiculous thoughts like that. I know, with so many people out there who are trying so hard for a second, or even a first baby, I should feel so blessed that I will have two children so easily. And I do, I feel so blessed, tonight is just a hard night, that's all. Vent over.

Re: I feel so bad for thinking this way...LONG sorry

You are 100% entitled to your feelings, so don't feel badly or feel you have to make excuses about them.

I have not been in your position, but I imagine these are VERY normal feelings to have, and in time, they will pass and you will feel very excited and look forward to your family of 4.

Re: I feel so bad for thinking this way...LONG sorry

Don't worry. It will be great as they are growing up together. You may think that you're "depriving" DC #1 of alone time with you & DH, but you are giving him so much more.

Re: I feel so bad for thinking this way...LONG sorry

Awww don't feel bad! If it makes you feel better I am the oldest of four and we are all very close in age and while I don't remember it being just me and my parents (the three of us) I have so many WONDERFUL memories of always having my siblings around and being a part of a big family...and I LOVE these memories...so much that I want to have more than two kids and fairly close in age b/c I feel bad for my DS to be alone b/c I remember being SO HAPPY that there were so many of us! It made every holiday better!

Re: I feel so bad for thinking this way...LONG sorry

i dont know if this helps, but i am the oldest, and my brother is 5 years younger then me... i dont even remember being all alone with my parents!

Re: I feel so bad for thinking this way...LONG sorry

I think it's the pregnancy hormones getting the best of you. DS will never know the difference. You won't regret your decision once you have that cute baby in your arms.

Re: I feel so bad for thinking this way...LONG sorry

Re: I feel so bad for thinking this way...LONG sorry

Please don't feel bad. I think it's normal to feel how you feel. I'm pregnant with our second child and DS will be about 22 mos when this baby is born. I've also had some sad thoughts about how he won't be the only baby anymore and I hope he won't feel like he's not getting the same amount of love he was getting before. Rationally I know it'll be fine but I think it's just the way our minds work sometimes. Kind of like going through all of the emotions.

Re: I feel so bad for thinking this way...LONG sorry

i think its so much better to have kids very close in age. the first born will be too little to have any real jealousy issues, and you are giving DC the best gift ever, a sibling!!!!! my sister and I are 18 months apart and she is my best friend in the whole world.Best of luck to you and enjoy your pregnancy

Re: I feel so bad for thinking this way...LONG sorry

I went thru the same thng. My daughter was 8months when I found out I was pregnant with #2, and they are about 15 months apart. I struggled with feelings like that my entire pregnancy.

I had a scheduled c/s, so the day before, we made the day all about my dd. We took her to ChuckE Cheese and did all fun stuff with her. It helped me feel so stressed the day my ds was born.

And once she saw him for the first time, I realized how much BETTER it would be for her. He is now 1 1/2, and she is almost 3. They are truly best friends.

Re: I feel so bad for thinking this way...LONG sorry

I felt that way when I was first pregnant with DS. Once I started to feel him move I got more excited and thought more about how fun it would be for them to have a built in playmate that is so close in age. And now they play together all day long, it's so cute! They really are best friends.

Re: I feel so bad for thinking this way...LONG sorry

I just got a BFP so by my calculations DS will be just under 3 when DC #2 comes along and I have cherished this time with DS, but I don't think he is going to remember it just being the 3 of us. No matter if your kids are close in age or a little further apart you will make special memories for all of your kids. You will love them and have special times with them together so either way your children will have special memories of their family.

Re: I feel so bad for thinking this way...LONG sorry

We went through the same thing in the beginning...we felt guilty that we were "jipping" our son of time with us. But we got over it, as I am sure you will too. Just think, your first baby is the only one who will be lucky enough to just have time with mommy and daddy!

Re: I feel so bad for thinking this way...LONG sorry

I remember feeling this way too. In fact, the morning of my scheduled c/s, DH was driving DD to her grandparents' house and I was just sobbing watching her drive away--I was in pieces!

I think for you now, it's more of a panic that you've done something irreversible, KWIM? You're on a permanent course now, which is scary!! This is probably a bad analogy, but I have 2 tattoos and directly after getting each one I totally had a panic attack like, "What the hell was I thinking?? What did I just do?? Now it's with me forever...that's it!" But not long afterwards, I totally loved them!

Anyway, having 2 so close in age is awesome (usually ) and I wouldn't change a thing!!!!!

Re: I feel so bad for thinking this way...LONG sorry

These are such normal feelings. I felt this way too at times and my son was two when my other son was born. But if it helps, it is so beautiful to see your tow wonderful children hugging and kissing. It melts my heat when my first son is sooo kind to his brother. He's so pround of his little brother and loves him so much. It's amazing how another person really adds so much toi what you already had. Right after DS#2 was born our family felt so complete.

Good luck. You will love it.

Re: I feel so bad for thinking this way...LONG sorry

Hi ladies, I just saw the new responses now. Thank you so much for sharing your stories--it helps to know that others have had kids so close together as well, and it worked out great!