I have to ask, once you have a baby, how does your relationship with your DH change?

Re: I have to ask, once you have a baby, how does your relationship with your DH change?

For me it got much better. I think having a baby was a good magnifier of a relationship.

It's been the glue that sticks us together. We both have a common goal - teaching them how to be the best person, have healthy relationships and make their way in this world while adoring them.

Someone here (I think it was Stacey) said it's like having a special secret between the two of you. You look across the room as your child explains "when gets bigger, he's going to Height School" and you smile at each other.

I say a magnifier because I've had friends who've divorced their husbands because they didn't want their child seeing them treated so poorly. They didn't want their daughter accepting emotional crumbs when she grew up or left because their DH was verbally abusive and didn't want her son to follow in his footsteps.

Message edited 3/4/2007 7:27:05 AM.

Re: I have to ask, once you have a baby, how does your relationship with your DH change?

It has made it even better...

Everything now is a partnership and he realizes how much I really do and he helps out ALOT more which makes me happy. It gives us less to argue about. He is a total mush with our daughter which melts me.

Re: I have to ask, once you have a baby, how does your relationship with your DH change?

Better...Kerri brings us great joy and smiles to our faces everyday. It is our little "secret"

But in the beginning it wasn't all sunshine and roses...having a baby is a huge adjustment but once you work out the kinks it truly is wonderful

Message edited 3/4/2007 7:47:25 AM.

Re: I have to ask, once you have a baby, how does your relationship with your DH change?

I did get better. I feel like i love him even more. You might have a disagreement here and there but once she was born I had this great feeling and i miss him every hour that i dont see him.

Re: I have to ask, once you have a baby, how does your relationship with your DH change?

It changed for us but not for the better. YES we do love our children but the sex is not there like it was and DH is not happy about that. Aside from that things ok. We have our problems about why I spend money on kiddie things but we work through it all.

Re: I have to ask, once you have a baby, how does your relationship with your DH change?

Re: I have to ask, once you have a baby, how does your relationship with your DH change?

Re: I have to ask, once you have a baby, how does your relationship with your DH change?

It definately changes. Some ways for the good - I saw a different side of him that made me love him more when I saw him with our kids.

Some ways for the not so good - he works really long hours and I used to be able to stay up and spend time with him when he got home, now I'm ready for bed when he gets home so our sex life definately took a hit. Plus, I had issues with his mom before kids, but they got much worse once we had kids. I'm still trying to figure out why, but I think part of it is that I'm not willing to tolerate a lot of her crap that I was before we had kids, coupled with she is now retired and has a lot more time to try to shove her nose into our business.

Message edited 3/4/2007 9:47:31 AM.

Re: I have to ask, once you have a baby, how does your relationship with your DH change?

Posted by Stacey1403

Posted by nrthshgrl

Someone here (I think it was Stacey) said it's like having a special secret between the two of you. You look across the room as your child explains "when gets bigger, he's going to Height School" and you smile at each other.

It was me

It is like a special secret. You have these little people and you together know every little thing about them. You have things that make you laugh, cry, etc that these little beings do. When you truly sit down and think about how monumental it is to create a life together to me there is no greater aphrodisiac. I am so much more in love with my DH after seeing him as a father to our children

Re: I have to ask, once you have a baby, how does your relationship with your DH change?

Omg, our relationship has gotten SO much better! We have become such a strong team that it's not even funny. I have so much more respect for him now. Not that I didn't respect him before, but how can you not gain respect for a man who stays home to raise his daughter then goes and works all night and functions on 4 hours of sleep? Not to mention, our connection is so much deeper to one another. Creating another human being was probably the best, most intimate thing I could ever imagine doing with my husband. We're also much more efficient at getting stuff done, and we make sure to spend more quality time together.

Re: I have to ask, once you have a baby, how does your relationship with your DH change?

I agree with what Rachel posted above. We were married 7 years before our DD came along. It really has made us fall inlove all over again. I'm not saying that there aren't tough times. But on a whole it has changed our relationship for the better. And yes to watch a father take care of his child is SEXY I totally agree!!

Message edited 3/4/2007 10:18:14 AM.

Re: I have to ask, once you have a baby, how does your relationship with your DH change?

Re: I have to ask, once you have a baby, how does your relationship with your DH change?

When Luca wasn't sleeping well our relationship really took a hit. I had no patience for DH because I gave what little patience I have to the baby, so there was none left for DH. There were nights I was cursing him and telling him I hated him. But that has passed. Luca still isn't a good sleeper, but it's much better and I'm more well rested. We put him to bed much earlier than we used to which leaves DH and I time to be alone- which we realy needed.
Our relationship is starting to become a new "normal" and we're enjoying each other so much more. I only see postive things to come for us.

Re: I have to ask, once you have a baby, how does your relationship with your DH change?

Truthfully, I will say that our "relationship" changed very little--I know that sounds really odd.

I feel we had a very strong relationship to start with so the birth of DD did not change that foundation. We're pretty much on the same page with things and have a similar outlook on life, sense of humor, etc. We did not start to bicker, etc. when she was born. We really did adjust as a couple.

Now, our *lives* changed dramatically. Spontenaiety--forget it! Getting in the car is an event. I can't remember the last time we had dinner out alone; I can't remember the last time we got drunk together--stuff like that. However, we talk about Katherine virtually non-stop--we think she's just the best thing that's ever happened to us (well, usually ) and I totally agree with what the other ladies have said about your "secret."

Re: I have to ask, once you have a baby, how does your relationship with your DH change?

I don't think it changed much. We had a great relationship before and I was afraid a baby might change that but it hasn't. We do feel more like a "family" now and I love what was said above about feeling like you have a little secret between the two of you...it is so true.

Re: I have to ask, once you have a baby, how does your relationship with your DH change?

as with all new adjustments in life, there are good and bad moments, but all the good outweigh all the bad, and you even look back and laugh.

we have the 3 best kept secrets in town

Stacey, I love that idea

everyone here worded it so well, and I love how as moms discussing this with those that are not mommies yet, we can be honest about the good and the bad.

Re: I have to ask, once you have a baby, how does your relationship with your DH change?

SO much better. Before DS I wanted to come home, but I almost cried when I ran late at work the other day. I miss him and DS to death when I'm at work it's like a part of my heart is left behind when I leave in the AM.

Re: I have to ask, once you have a baby, how does your relationship with your DH change?

Things were definately different. It's a lot to get used to. It makes you grow up and not argue about the stupid fights that you used to have before the baby was here. The sex changes too but I think it was different for us because Jared was in our room with us. Now that he's in his own room, things are back to normal and then some.