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I honestly feel like
my boss doesn't like me as much as my other labmates. I feel like he doesn't talk to me as nicely as everyone else. It's not that we have bad interactions. But he's sort of gruff with me, and other people he sort of acts like a dad figure. I just feel bad that I'm not treated as nicely. I don't think he realizes it. I can't say anything, though, right? I just have to try to be nice and maybe win him over.
Here's the thing. It's not about being liked. But I really do feel that since he likes them better he give them more help and advice on their projects than on mine. So it could potentially affect my work.
Message edited 10/4/2007 2:26:28 PM.
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Posted 10/4/07 2:26 PM  |
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Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
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Re: I honestly feel like
Aww Beth, have you spoken to him about this? He might not even realize his behavior and how it's affecting you.
Hope things get better for you!! 
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| Posted 10/4/07 2:33 PM |
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Re: I honestly feel like
Posted by imthecindyofcindyandkevin
Aww Beth, have you spoken to him about this? He might not even realize his behavior and how it's affecting you.
Hope things get better for you!!
Well, that's the thing. Can I? Or should I just leave it be and bake him cookies  Seriously, maybe I should show a softer side? I guess I can be all business since I'm so dead set on getting my thesis done. But everytime I try to say hi or just shoot the breeze he doesn't seem all the receptive to it like with everyone else.
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| Posted 10/4/07 2:36 PM |
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chikita315
Love
Member since 8/06 7945 total posts
Name:
M-lo
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Re: I honestly feel like
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| Posted 10/4/07 2:37 PM |
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Re: I honestly feel like
Posted by glinda-goodwitch
Posted by imthecindyofcindyandkevin
Aww Beth, have you spoken to him about this? He might not even realize his behavior and how it's affecting you.
Hope things get better for you!!
Well, that's the thing. Can I? Or should I just leave it be and bake him cookies Seriously, maybe I should show a softer side? I guess I can be all business since I'm so dead set on getting my thesis done. But everytime I try to say hi or just shoot the breeze he doesn't seem all the receptive to it like with everyone else.
Sadly, I know how you feel. I have the same kind of relationship with my co-workers and I just don't get it either. I've tried to put myself out there being friendly, all smiles and sociable, but if they have no interest in talking to me then there's nothing I can do about it. But of course, how they feel about me doesn't have any effect on my work.
You need to decide how much of an effort you've made to "show the softer side" and maybe you need to do it more. Or maybe you're maxed out and have done all you can so now it's just his problem that he doesn't reciprocate. Either way, good luck!!
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| Posted 10/4/07 2:41 PM |
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JessieQ
Rest in Peace baby Rogan
Member since 6/07 1122 total posts
Name:
Jessica
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Re: I honestly feel like
I have been in that boat. At my old job I really really respected my boss, and I think he respected me. But I really didn't have a rapport with him like most of my co-workers did. I think part of it was I didn't have the common interests (World Cup soccer, NFL, golf) that some of my coworkers did, so we didn't have much to talk about other than work. Also I'm just not the type to have small talk just for the heck of it.
I honestly felt though that even though we weren't as "close," he still respected me and gave me as much help as anyone else. I would hope it would be the same for him. Do you think maybe he has gotten the impression that you don't need to be coddled as much as your coworkers? Maybe they need more hand-holding? I would say if you think he's helping others more than you, and you feel you need the extra help, you may just have to ask.
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| Posted 10/4/07 2:52 PM |
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Re: I honestly feel like
Posted by JessieQ
Do you think maybe he has gotten the impression that you don't need to be coddled as much as your coworkers? Maybe they need more hand-holding? I would say if you think he's helping others more than you, and you feel you need the extra help, you may just have to ask.
Well, it's funny. So a few months ago I asked him for 4 days off to go away and he just said yes and almost walked away. I said, "Well, don't you want to know where I'm going?" So I told him Tucson, and he was like oh it's nice there in November. But later that day my labmate was going to San Diego for a few days vacation and he's talking to her about the guy she's staying with and all this stuff. So I overheard this and I go outside my office and jokingly say, "How come you talk to so and so about her trip and you barely asked me where I was going?" So he said, "Well, you seem like you're level-headed, I don't have to worry about you. But so and so I have to make sure she's okay." Well, I can see this, as "so and so" was actually staying with a guy she just met for the first time the week before . So maybe it is just that he doesn't have to worry about me.
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| Posted 10/4/07 3:15 PM |
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JessieQ
Rest in Peace baby Rogan
Member since 6/07 1122 total posts
Name:
Jessica
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Re: I honestly feel like
Posted by glinda-goodwitch
Posted by JessieQ
Do you think maybe he has gotten the impression that you don't need to be coddled as much as your coworkers? Maybe they need more hand-holding? I would say if you think he's helping others more than you, and you feel you need the extra help, you may just have to ask.
Well, it's funny. So a few months ago I asked him for 4 days off to go away and he just said yes and almost walked away. I said, "Well, don't you want to know where I'm going?" So I told him Tucson, and he was like oh it's nice there in November. But later that day my labmate was going to San Diego for a few days vacation and he's talking to her about the guy she's staying with and all this stuff. So I overheard this and I go outside my office and jokingly say, "How come you talk to so and so about her trip and you barely asked me where I was going?" So he said, "Well, you seem like you're level-headed, I don't have to worry about you. But so and so I have to make sure she's okay." Well, I can see this, as "so and so" was actually staying with a guy she just met for the first time the week before . So maybe it is just that he doesn't have to worry about me.
That is funny! Seriously though, from your description it's very likely he just feels the need to worry about them to be more sensitive to them than to you. As long as he's not yelling at you or putting down your opinions, and if you go to him and ask him he gives you help, I wouldn't worry about it. But like I said, if you want more help from him just make sure you ask for it, I'm sure he has no clue you're worrying about this.
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| Posted 10/4/07 3:21 PM |
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Re: I honestly feel like
I guess it is a little about being liked.  I guess I just feel bad that he's not as nice to me. I know it shouldn't matter. But it makes me feel a little bad.
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| Posted 10/4/07 3:30 PM |
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evnme
My little lamb
Member since 8/05 12633 total posts
Name:
aka momma2b
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Re: I honestly feel like
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| Posted 10/4/07 3:30 PM |
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HoneyBadger
YourWorstNightmare.
Member since 10/06 15979 total posts
Name:
BahBahBlackJeep
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Re: I honestly feel like
Posted by glinda-goodwitch
I guess it is a little about being liked. I guess I just feel bad that he's not as nice to me. I know it shouldn't matter. But it makes me feel a little bad.
I think that's completely understandable. We all in one way or another want to be liked.
I think you should try speaking to him. At the very least you may find out exactly where you stand or bring something to light that he had no idea about.
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| Posted 10/4/07 3:33 PM |
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JessieQ
Rest in Peace baby Rogan
Member since 6/07 1122 total posts
Name:
Jessica
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Re: I honestly feel like
Posted by glinda-goodwitch
I guess it is a little about being liked. I guess I just feel bad that he's not as nice to me. I know it shouldn't matter. But it makes me feel a little bad.
I totally understand, it's a completely normal feeling.
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| Posted 10/4/07 3:36 PM |
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Re: I honestly feel like
Posted by Jennie0898
Posted by glinda-goodwitch
I guess it is a little about being liked. I guess I just feel bad that he's not as nice to me. I know it shouldn't matter. But it makes me feel a little bad.
I think that's completely understandable. We all in one way or another want to be liked.
I think you should try speaking to him. At the very least you may find out exactly where you stand or bring something to light that he had no idea about.
Okay, I didn't know if this was appropriate to do or not. Maybe I will the next time I feel he's speaking to me in not so nice a manner. It's hard to explain but it's a very gruff manner and I don't see it as much with everyone else.
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| Posted 10/4/07 3:40 PM |
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