I lied to my mom today (kinda long, please don't move, PR)

I've just had it.

My mom has been living with us for a little less than 1 1/2 years (she's under contract and will be moving next month ). But since she has been here, she has absolutely no concept of the fact that sometimes, I just want to go out and do things by myself.

I've tried off-handed ways of saying this: "I just have a few errands to run, we'll be right back" (meaning DD and I), and it's always "Oh, I'll come along". That's all good and fine, but we're talking 45 minutes sometimes before we can leave because she "just needs to drink this cup of coffee" or "just needs to take the rollers out of her hair". She doesn't understand that with a toddler, I don't have time to sit around waiting. And then once we get where we need to go, I just want to get what I need and get out and onto the next place, but everything's "Oh, let me just look at this", and nothing is ever done quickly.

Saying all of this point-blank to her is not worth the attitude, or the tremendous fight that would ensue, because she's never in the wrong and everything is my fault.

Today, I had 3 things I needed to get done, and I wanted to be back in time for dinner. So when I said I was going out, she said, "Oh, where are you going?". I told her I was going to a friend's house to drop off a book she wanted to borrow. I even brought the book downstairs to make it more convincing.

And I went out, did what I needed to do, came home on time...and have no regrets, really.

I guess I'm writing this because...well, I don't know why, really. I DO feel guilty about it. I shouldn't have to lie, especially in my own house, when I'm almost 30 years old.

My mom is 66--she's not going to be around forever, and I know that. And I keep trying to tell myself that. But she's been here, every single day (save for 2 months in CA that were GLORIOUS) for the last 17 months. In my business, in my 2-person conversations with DH, in my parenting methods, you should do it this way, don't do it that way, etc. etc. etc.

Thanks for listening...I just needed to get it out...and reassure myself that my relationship with MY DD will NOT be this way.

Message edited 3/29/2010 6:11:50 PM.

Re: I lied to my mom today (kinda long, please don't move, PR)

Just know its nearly done. Its not mean or anything to feel guilty about. You just want to live your own life. Its not a life without her just a life on your own, with her as your mother not as a house guest.

Seems like one white lie laid heavy on your heart but I'm sure you have compromised plenty and once isnt the end of the world.

Don't beat yourself up

Re: I lied to my mom today (kinda long, please don't move, PR)

Don't feel guilty. Sometimes you just have to do what you have to do.

Re: I lied to my mom today (kinda long, please don't move, PR)

Oh Beth

Once your mom moves into her own house you'll be much more relaxed and you won't have to say where you're going. Hang in there just a little while longer!!

And don't feel guilty about your little white lie. She didn't suffer because of it and you got to get your errands done quickly

Re: I lied to my mom today (kinda long, please don't move, PR)

Posted by Xelindrya



Just know its nearly done. Its not mean or anything to feel guilty about. You just want to live your own life. Its not a life without her just a life on your own, with her as your mother not as a house guest.

Seems like one white lie laid heavy on your heart but I'm sure you have compromised plenty and once isnt the end of the world.

Don't beat yourself up