I need advice on friend/school situation

Please don’t quote I’m going to delete later.
My dad is 8 and in an inclusion class. She has been in that class setting since K. She is diagnosed with cdd and ADHD. She of course has looped with the same kids since K who remain in the inclusion class with her. She and another girl do no get along at all. It’s only 3 weeks into school and the issues keep getting worse. Last year we had multiple meetings with the teachers and the school social worker and the school psychologist. A lot of the issues extends with the other girl not wanting my dd to have any other friends other than her. She copies my dd and chases her all around. Last year she pushed my dd face down into the ground on the playground after wrapping her arms around my dd neck. I’ve spoken to the girls parents who are incredibly nice. I also know my dd plays a role in all of this. She ignores the girl and runs away and I think sometimes makes more of the situation than it really needs to be.

Now this year because they have already had an incident where the other girl took my dd apple sauce and squeezed into her water bottle at lunch they have separated them during lunch. Every other day the girls switch seats so that on one day my dd or this girl are left to sit alone while the other girl gets to sit with the group of girls from the class. My dd now doesn’t want to go to school on days when she has to sit alone. I think this is ridiculous but the teachers say they can’t allow them to be near one another. My dd is becoming extremely anxious and crying almost every night before bed.

My district will not split them up even though there is another inclusion class at their grade level in our district. What am
I supposed to do? I just made an appointment for my dd to see a private therapist outside of school but I don’t want my dd to be miserable at school all year long.

Re: I need advice on friend/school situation

Ugh. That all sucks. I'm sorry

My SO's son has ODD and ADHD and he was having problems with some kids at school and we had to do an FBA and he will have an aide when he returns to school next month (which is another story, he's in a hospital program at the moment)

Can either child be eligible for an aide?

I need advice on friend/school situation

It is very difficult. I have actually been on both sides of this, my daughter as the instigator and then a few years later the receiver. You need to get firm with your district and insist the girls be split up or there needs to be an aide with one of them the entire day. They are young and most likely working on these issues are part of their goals but that is not an excuse for making your daughter feel uncomfortable and not safe at school. I do not understand the lunch thing though. Why is one sitting by themselves. Where is the rest of the class?

Re: I need advice on friend/school situation

I'm not understanding why they are forcing your dd or the other girl to rotate sitting alone. That is not right at all. I would call a meeting and tell them to find another solution as it is starting to affect your dd and causing anxiety.

Re: I need advice on friend/school situation

Re: I need advice on friend/school situation

The lunch sitting arrangement is unacceptable and I would let the principal know it. I would escalate it to the superintendent if it continues. Isolating a child, especially the victim, is wrong. Obviously the solution is to MIX the boys and girls together, thereby still keeping them separate...or moving the seats so they are at the same table but not next to each other. Dont accept what the school district is telling you MUST be. They do what is easier for THEM. Push for what you know to best for YOU and DD. Escalate....squeaky wheel.

Re: I need advice on friend/school situation

Lawyer up and have them write a friendly letter to the school. They will not listen to you. I remember your post from last year. Your district will not listen to you, so it is time to fix it in a way they will listen.

Re: I need advice on friend/school situation

Re: I need advice on friend/school situation

Re: I need advice on friend/school situation

The school's handling of this situation is horrible. They seem to be perpetuating the situation. Why can't one of the girl have a full time SEIT? No one should have to sit by themselves at lunch. That is so wrong on some many levels.