I need everyones thoughts on this...

This is the deal...a christening seems far away, but its something on my mind b/c I live in Virginia and my family is in NY (DH's fam is in NJ and Phoenix).

I had always thought i'd have the baby christened near us at our church in VA, and then take everyone out to a restaurant for dinner.

When i talked to my mom about this she got very defensive and upset, saying that if I had an event on a Sunday in VA, over half my family could not go and that this is her 1st grandchild and its important to her.

OK...its MY first child and of course i'd like everyone to go. But she is suggesting that i have the christening on LI and that way almost everyone could attend. Meaning for me to plan this from 5 hours away and travel for the weekend here.

In all honesty...what would you do??? Have it where you live and hope that everyone who cared and could go would go? OR **** it up and plan for a long weekend in NY and appeasing your mom?

I am so torn. My mom means well most of the time but really can make me feel awful with these issues...

Re: I need everyones thoughts on this...

I guess in the end you have to think how important it is to you for people to be there. Honestly I don't think I would travel on a Sunday for a Christening. I would probably just send a gift.
Is your mom willing to do the planning for you if you have it in NY? If she can find the place and do all of the running around that might be a reasonable compromise.
Good Luck.

Re: I need everyones thoughts on this...

I would have it on a saturday near my house if the baby was really young maybe under 6 months. I dont think it is fair to the baby to bring him on far car drive at a young age for the convience of other people and I think it will be more of a headache for you and your DH. What does your DH think?

Re: I need everyones thoughts on this...

My DH thinks that we should wait and see how everything is after the baby is born. I know we'd both love to stay local, however i know that means less people who can attend. And i didn't think they did christenings on saturdays...thats an option to look into!

I forgot to add...his parents are flying in from phoenix oct 14th to stay with me for a week and suggested that that sunday (the 22nd) worked best for them in terms of timing and not having to fly out again right away. We want to have the christening within 2 months of him being born, so it'll most def. be October..that was another issue.

Re: I need everyones thoughts on this...

Posted by monkeybride

I guess in the end you have to think how important it is to you for people to be there. Honestly I don't think I would travel on a Sunday for a Christening. I would probably just send a gift.
Is your mom willing to do the planning for you if you have it in NY? If she can find the place and do all of the running around that might be a reasonable compromise.
Good Luck.

Re: I need everyones thoughts on this...

we live in NJ and we are probably going to christen the baby on LI b/c it's where everyone is and we're probablyl going to have a party afterwards @ my mother's....

Re: I need everyones thoughts on this...

I personally would want the baby baptized in the church that I will be bring him too. That would be important to me. If your family wants to be there they will find a way. Maybe find out about doing it on a Saturday. Good Luck

Re: I need everyones thoughts on this...

Posted by Stacey1403

I personally would want the baby baptized in the church that I will be bring him too. That would be important to me. If your family wants to be there they will find a way. Maybe find out about doing it on a Saturday. Good Luck

Re: I need everyones thoughts on this...

Posted by Stacey1403

I personally would want the baby baptized in the church that I will be bring him too. That would be important to me. If your family wants to be there they will find a way. Maybe find out about doing it on a Saturday. Good Luck

Re: I need everyones thoughts on this...

We live in NC and most people are on LI. With Caiden, we had his Christening at the church we were married in up on LI. We wanted to do it down here, but kept hearing from everyone how no one would come, etc., etc. Well, that really upset me of course considering we had our wedding on LI as well just to appease everyone else. We wanted to be able to share both events with everyone we knew! They made us feel really guilty. We also had my horrible baby shower up there as well. They made me drive to LI when I was 32 weeks PG.

We're having this issue now as well with the baby I'm PG with. We don't know if we should have it up on LI or down here? We know that probably no one will come, but part of me just doesn't care anymore. We always go out of our way for everyone else, and no one even cares about us lately.

What even bothers me is that my SIL had her wedding in MD and everyone went to that! What makes her sooo special? It was my MIL who kept telling us that no one will come we have to do it up on LI. She also had her Baby Shower down in MD that people flew in for. I guess because I'm not "blood"!!!

As far as planning it, it wasn't that big of a deal. You do have to do a little extra work as far as the paperwork is concerned. You can do the class, and whatever else you need to do in your home town and just show up for the ceremony. Caiden was 8 weeks old when we drove up and it was at least a 10 hour drive with nursing sessions.

I can't say what you should do, but we've always done things to accomodate other people and I'm really tired of it. But a big part of me REALLY wants this new baby to be Baptized in the same church we were married in and that his brother was Baptized in. It just seems like the right thing to do.

I would go with your heart. Definitely don't do what I've been doing and listening to other people. You do what's best for your family and what YOU want!

Good luck and I hope everything turns out the way you want them too!

Re: I need everyones thoughts on this...

My mom gave me the same guilt trip about having DD christening in CT. She wanted it on LI at our church. We are the only ones up here besides my bro, and she claimed no one would come, it's so far from LI, blah blah blah...

I told her i live in CT, DD was born in CT, this is our home. If people don't want to travel, that's their decision and I can't make up people's minds for them. My mom finally admitted she really wanted it on LI cause it would be more convenient for her.

You know what, I invited 60 people and 40 came, plus it was Father's day the day we christened her which added to the no's, otherwise we would have had many many more people come.

You'd be surprised how people travel for a baby. If you want to have it in VA, don't feel guilty, people will come and I am sure your mom will too, she won't miss her granddaughters big day.

Re: I need everyones thoughts on this...

Posted by CaidensMommy

We live in NC and most people are on LI. With Caiden, we had his Christening at the church we were married in up on LI. We wanted to do it down here, but kept hearing from everyone how no one would come, etc., etc. Well, that really upset me of course considering we had our wedding on LI as well just to appease everyone else. We wanted to be able to share both events with everyone we knew! They made us feel really guilty. We also had my horrible baby shower up there as well. They made me drive to LI when I was 32 weeks PG.

We're having this issue now as well with the baby I'm PG with. We don't know if we should have it up on LI or down here? We know that probably no one will come, but part of me just doesn't care anymore. We always go out of our way for everyone else, and no one even cares about us lately.

What even bothers me is that my SIL had her wedding in MD and everyone went to that! What makes her sooo special? It was my MIL who kept telling us that no one will come we have to do it up on LI. She also had her Baby Shower down in MD that people flew in for. I guess because I'm not "blood"!!!

As far as planning it, it wasn't that big of a deal. You do have to do a little extra work as far as the paperwork is concerned. You can do the class, and whatever else you need to do in your home town and just show up for the ceremony. Caiden was 8 weeks old when we drove up and it was at least a 10 hour drive with nursing sessions.

I can't say what you should do, but we've always done things to accomodate other people and I'm really tired of it. But a big part of me REALLY wants this new baby to be Baptized in the same church we were married in and that his brother was Baptized in. It just seems like the right thing to do.

I would go with your heart. Definitely don't do what I've been doing and listening to other people. You do what's best for your family and what YOU want!

Good luck and I hope everything turns out the way you want them too!

Re: I need everyones thoughts on this...

I wouldnt look at it that you are coming back to Long Island to appease your mom, I would look at it that you probably want everyone to see the baby and be at the christening. Seriously, ten to one most people are not going to make that drive. Probably your immediate family. Soooo...If it were me I would probably have it on Long Island just bc I would really want the people there but thats just me. Good Luck!