I need help - C-section related

After a long horrible day at dr's office it now looks like I'll be needing a c-section quite possible next week. I didn't expect this, I so much wanted to have natural labor.

I can't stop crying now. I feel like I've failed at something I never even got a chance to try and wanted to do so badly.

My whole body hurts right now from sitting on an exam table for several hours today, which isn't making it any better. I feel so overwhelmed.

I know there is nothing wrong with getting a c-section it's just not at all the way I thought this would be.

Did anyone go through this? How did you deal with it?

Re: I need help - C-section related

my first pregnancy i delivered vaginally, now with my second i am being told csection. It stinks cause you always fear what you don't know! i have complete placenta previa right now so it seems that's the route i'll be taking! Just go with the flow either way, the end result is the same! hang in there don't be upset!

Re: I need help - C-section related

I have to have a planned C-section and I say this time and time again--it matters not HOW you give birth. It's a means to an end and it certainly does not define the job that you will do as a mother!!!!

OOOPs, I mean to say, "it matters not." I fixed it.

Message edited 8/15/2007 11:40:18 PM.

Re: I need help - C-section related

I was extremely shocked when I was told at 37 weeks that I had to have a C section and that I had all of 5 days to mentally prepare for it. I was fine with it before I had the C section and was actually kind of happy because the anxiety I had of not knowing when I'd go into labor was really bothering me. After I had my daughter, though, I felt like a failure and like I was missing out on something that I always thought I'd do. But, fast forward a couple of weeks, and honestly, I was just happy to have a healthy baby. I'm actually happy now that I never had to go into labor and push something out my va-jay-jay I mean, all I had to do was lay there and someone else did all the work I guess I can laugh about it now because I've been through it, but either natural labor or a C section is just a means to an end. The result is the same no matter what. And think of what a perfectly round head your little baby will have. No squishing through the birth canal It sounds silly, but all of these little thoughts are what got me through it. I kept thinking the day of my c section, "What other surgery do you get to have where the end result is an amazing gift?"
Hang in there. Take some time to digest the idea of a C section, and use the last days of your pregnancy to do all the things you won't have a chance to do for a while. Sleep, read a book, go somewhere by yourself and enjoy not having to take a carseat with you in and out of the car

Re: I need help - C-section related

What you are feeling is completely normal. I had my baby this past Friday and after 4 hours of pushing the Dr told me there was no way he was coming out and I had to have a c-section. I was in so much pain (long story, but they had to shut off my epidural) and i was hysterically crying...i wanted the pain more than the c-section. i felt like the biggest failure and couldnt understand why i couldnt push my baby out. ill be honest with you, i am still disappointed that i had to have a c-section, but i realize that i didnt fail - i did all i could!

i know you are upset right now, but remember it is what is best for your baby!!!

hang in there and just know that you will be holding your baby very soon!!!!!

Re: I need help - C-section related

You did not fail at anything. Try to remember that your Dr. is giving you a c-section because it is best for the baby. All that matters is that your baby arrives safely and that you stay healthy, too. Believe me, I know how you feel. I sooo did not want a c-section and I ended up with one. Was I disappointed? Yes. But then I would look at my son and realize how lucky I was that he was so perfect, who cares how he got here? Good luck and hang in there!!

Re: I need help - C-section related

Patti, please don't be so hard on yourself. At first I felt that I was less of a mother because I wouldn't get the opportunity to push and scream. But then I thought about those that adopt. They are no less of a mother. In fact, they are the most special moms in my eyes. Once we have our gigantic babies in our arms we won't care how they got here.

Re: I need help - C-section related

I was faced with the same situation you are confronted with also. I was told up until week 36 my baby was head down and I would be able to have a natural birth. In fact, with other complications there were questions whether I could even have an epidural so I was really preparing for an all natural birth. Low and behold at week 37 I was told my baby was now in the footling breech position. Due to his position I was not a candidate for aversion. I was crushed. The nurse told me - not even my obgyn. I was so upset. I came on here and wrote a post on parenting called c-sections. I asked the girls who reciently had one to tell me what I was in for. Thier replies helped ease my fears. I also felt like once I knew what was going to happen that I was more in control. Someone said to me "healthy mommy and healthy baby are the most important things" I took that to heart and realized that it was the truth.

These are some things that I have learned since having the c-section.
1) Find out if you are allergic to surgical tape. I got awful tape blisters and it is really painful. If you are allergic, milk of magnesia on 4x4 gauze pads alleviates the itching (which is unbearable).
2) Sit up and lie down as straight as possible as soon as you can. It will make you feel a lot better. Try moving your legs and walking when they ask you too, it will also help.
3) Gas-x and Phillips are your friends.
4) Hire someone to help you for the first 2 weeks. Rest as much as you can.
5) Take the forth day in the hospital, You will be ansy to go home but it will help you heal.
6) Stairs, they are going to be painful. Take them slowly. Limit the amount of stairs you have to take the first day home. It took me 20 minutes the first day and I cried on each one. It will get better. I am two weeks in and I can carry my baby downstairs now. (can't carry him up yet).

Feel free to FM me with any questions.

eta: ask the anastesologist that your partner/DH be permitted in the room while you get a spinal tap.

Message edited 8/15/2007 9:33:23 PM.

Re: I need help - C-section related

Re: I need help - C-section related

Hi Patti,

I never thought for a second that I'd need a c-section and after 2 days of contracting 4 minutes apart, and 9 hours of pitocin, I hadnt dilated past 1 cm. The baby's heartrate was showing signs of distress and the Dr. said "if you dont start dilating in an hour, we're doing a c-section." I burst into tears and was praying that I'd start dilating, but an hour later, my dr. did another internal and there was no progress.

I was sad that this wasnt going according to my "birth plan," and I felt like I was missing out on something that I had looked forward to my entire adult life.

To be brutally honest, I wasnt even thinking about what was best for the baby - I was just thinking about what I would prefer.

After they wheeled me into the operating room I thought I was going to vomit from my anxiety, but it was over before I knew it. I actually thought they hadnt started yet when they told me "the head is out." I know it's a cliche, but when they said "it's a girl" and I heard her cry I really didnt care HOW she came out - just that she was here and healthy and all mine.

My doctor then told me that the cord was around her neck and there was no way that I would have been able to deliver vaginally without serious complications. When I heard that I was so grateful to my doctor for telling me I needed a c-section.

If I'm fortunate enough to have another child I would really really hope to deliver vaginally. But if I couldnt, I would be fine.

Your little girl will be here before you know it.

Re: I need help - C-section related

After being induced on my EDD with DS#1 because of "low fluid", and laboring for almost 15 hours, and getting to 9 cm.... my labor "stalled" and I was told after being *stuck* at 9cm for over 2 hours that I too needed a c-section. I was devastated.

With my 2nd, I planned and planned and researched, and attempted a VBAC. Spontaneous labor started 2 weeks before my EDD, everything went smoothly and FAST, then all of a sudden they lost DS#2's heartrate. With each cx. it would drop lower and lower and once again I was taken into the OR. It was only AFTER this second experience that I realized that it did not really matter how the baby got out, just that he got out and that we were both safe and healthy.

The only advice I can give you is to pay attention to your mental health afterwards. I was diagnosed with PPD after my 2nd was born and I think it was in part due to my 2 birth experiences that both did not go as I had envisioned.

This time around, I have a scheduled c/s and I am secretly hoping to go into labor before it just so I can try one more time for a vaginal delivery.

Re: I need help - C-section related

I am going through the same thing right now I can only offer you hugs beccause I am truly at a loss too.

Re: I need help - C-section related

Well I can understand what you are going through as well.

I have two fibroids which are measuring 5-6cm. One is located on top of my uterus and one below. My DD is oblique(slant ways) in my tummy so now they are thinking of scheduling me for a C-section.

I am scared in a way but I also try not to worry because I trust what my midwife thinks is best for me at this point.

Here are some hugs for you.

Re: I need help - C-section related

I just had my baby on August 9th and went through 30 hours of labor before needing to have a c-section (the baby was sunnyside up and her head was slightly tilted so there was no way she was coming all the way through-DH could even see the top of her head everytime I pushed) I totally know how you are feeling right now but labor was very difficult (I was induced so I've heard that makes contractions worse) and after a day and half of labor and getting to 10cm and pushing for over two hours, it was a huge let down to have to wind up with a c-section. I totally lost it when they told me I had to have one even though I had been trying to prepare myself the entire pregnancy that it may happen. Recovery wasn't too bad (the nurses said I had the double whammy b/c I pushed etc and then had the incision) The only thing I can tell you with 100% certainty is that you want what is best for the baby and for you and the end result is absolutely AMAZING-I'd do it all over again in a heartbeat to be able to hold my precious baby in my arms and have her look up at me. To be honest, now it is nice to know that with the next baby I can pick the date and go in and out quickly. Feel free to FM me if you have any questions or if I can offer any support.

Re: I need help - C-section related

After a few weeks being PG, I realized that nothing that I had "anticipated" happened. My vision of pregnancy and actually being PG were totally different.

So early on, I decided to be open minded and that things don't always go as planned.

Re: I need help - C-section related

I always knew c-section was a posibility for me (due to being induced and having a big baby) so I was not upset when I wound up with a c-section....all you can hope for is a healthy baby, how he/she srrives to me is irrelevant. I had a GREAT c-section experience and I will be scheduling a c-section with my next baby as well

Re: I need help - C-section related

Re: I need help - C-section related

It was hard for me afterwards as mine was am emergency C-section...I so wanted a natural birth and I will never get to experience it due to my issues, but you just get over it, b/c theres nothing you can do to change it. Thats the bottome line and I had to keep telling myself that..

Re: I need help - C-section related

Re: I need help - C-section related

I went through this very early in my pregnancy. I learned at level II that I had a previa, and when it was worse at my next sonogram I resolved to the fact that I had to have a c-section. Although I had the best possible delivery, and we were thrilled with the Drs, I still wish I could have had a vaginal birth. I was very upset and cried for weeks afterward (not to mention scared stiff), but in the end it was the safest thing for me and my baby, and I am thrilled that he is healthy and happy!