I need help!!!!!!!! Sister in law issue

We live in an apartment in my father and mother in laws home. It's a center hall colonial that was converted to a 2 family . The upstairs was made into a 3 bedroom apartment. There has been alot of talk about my in laws retiring and leaving. My father in law wants to leave by next year so we are starting to think about the necessary steps needed to get the house back to a one family and purchase the home fro them etc...... But we are running into a problem... That problem is my sister in law. Altough she has a beautiful home already and I do mean beautiful she has made comments about if we were to get the house she would be really hurt and mad....... Why????? We already live in house. My son already attends the school in the district. You already have a gorgeous home of your own. Why would you be mad?? And now my in laws feel bad and are second guessing themselves. I just don't get it... Any words of advise on how to deal with something like this.

Re: I need help!!!!!!!! Sister in law issue

She, obviously, feels that this part of her inheritance. If you get the house, she gets cut out. If your ILs stay and the house is in their possession when they pass away, it can be split equally between your husband and her. Your ILs are in control here. I don't know how much they have. They can appease her by saying that she will be taken care of in their wills. That everything else they own will go to her. She sounds, extremely, selfish. She is denying her parents their enjoyment and peace of mind in the later years because of her attitude. She needs to grow up. There isn't much you can do. It's up to your ILs. I hope everything works out.

Re: I need help!!!!!!!! Sister in law issue

If you buy the house from them though it no longer belongs to them it belongs to you. It's not their property to bequeath anymore.

If you buy it for fair market value then the parents wind up with pretty much the same amount as before and that amount can be split amongst the children.

As the above poster said, it's up to your IL's at the end of the day. Sorry that you are dealing with this!

Re: I need help!!!!!!!! Sister in law issue

are they selling you the house or are they giving it to you? if they're giving it to you i would be PO'd too. she had to buy her house, it seems unfair that they just give you the house.

if you're buying it from them then she has no reason to be upset at all.

Re: I need help!!!!!!!! Sister in law issue

if you're purchasing it from them for a fair value, she shouldn't have an issue with it. If she is thinking long-term and her inheritance, it will still be there - just cash in their pockets instead of the house.

Re: I need help!!!!!!!! Sister in law issue

Did she grow up in that house?

It could be a sentimental attachment and even though its you and DH moving in totally, she might still be having a letting go issue

Re: I need help!!!!!!!! Sister in law issue

yeah, that's not fair.... but I understand the emotions involved...

she's probably emotionally attached to that house. HOWEVER, she likely doesn't realize the realities of the situation. Let's hypothetically remove you from the situation, and wave a wand so your in-laws stay in the home for the rest of their lives....

THEN WHAT? your sister-in-law probably thinks she would somehow keep that home. Well, in my family, when my grandparents passed on, my uncles and dad were DETERMINED to keep the home. They tried renting it out, and the tennants were major idiots.... and so were the next family, AND the next. They broke windows, doors, made holes in walls. The walls and floors were always filthy. They bothered the neighbors. HUGE HEADACHES.
3 years of that, and the emotional bond to the home cracked. They sold it... and were relieved.

BUT, put your family into the equation, and that frankly is the PERFECT situation. You're in the family, you already are settled in, and you will buy and care for the home with the same love that your in-laws did. your SIL should realize a wonderful thing when it comes along, rather than being selfish and short-sighted....

good luck

Re: I need help!!!!!!!! Sister in law issue

I can understand her possibly having an emotional attachment to the house she grew up in......however, If they are going to sell the house, they are going to sell the house regardless of who buys it...... They are still receiving funds for the sale of this home so it's not like she should feel that her inheritance is being threatened........if something should happen to her parents(G-d forbid) she would still receive a portion of whatever monies the estate has..... GL I hope it all works out......

Re: I need help!!!!!!!! Sister in law issue

Re: I need help!!!!!!!! Sister in law issue

Re: I need help!!!!!!!! Sister in law issue

Oops - misread post. Sorry. NM

Message edited 8/3/2007 10:02:01 AM.

Re: I need help!!!!!!!! Sister in law issue

Isn't family jealousy wonderful?????
Many hugs. Your SIL should mind her own business. Good Luck and Many Hugs!

Re: I need help!!!!!!!! Sister in law issue

Maybe she is hoping the house gets left behind...but even if it did, generally, people leave it to ALL children so she wouldn't get the whole thing anyway. (my grandmother lived with my great-grandparetns for 15 years until they died...she only got 1/6 of the house so she had to buy the other 5/6 off at the current value) If you are buying it free and clear, she should get over herself. She's not becoming homeless or your tenant over the sale. In reality, the sale of the house doesn't impact her at all except taht maybe your ILs plan to move far away, but that's their choice not hers.

She should stay out of it, be happy your family will finally own a home and that her parents are enjoying their golden years as they choose.

Re: I need help!!!!!!!! Sister in law issue

Message edited 8/20/2007 10:12:26 AM.

Re: I need help!!!!!!!! Sister in law issue

Posted by marriedinportjeff


BUT, put your family into the equation, and that frankly is the PERFECT situation. You're in the family, you already are settled in, and you will buy and care for the home with the same love that your in-laws did. your SIL should realize a wonderful thing when it comes along, rather than being selfish and short-sighted....

good luck

Message edited 8/27/2007 7:39:11 PM.

Re: I need help!!!!!!!! Sister in law issue

If you are buying the house and they are not just handing it over to you, she shouldnt have a problem. Actually what they should do is subtract what they gave her towards her down payment from the FMV of their home and that's what you should purchase it for to make things fair.