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Bxgell2
Perfection
Member since 5/05 16438 total posts
Name:
Beth
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I need some advice...
It's just so silly, but I'm getting uncomfortable.
I'm in training all this week - mandatory supervisory training.
There is this guy in the training. He was nice, friendly, and seemed one of the only normal in the bunch of federal employees I'm sitting in this training with, and we were put in the same little group together, so we chatted a lot the first day, and grabbed some lunch together.
I didn't think anything of it, until he started making comments, like:
"You must be a runner because you have a runner's body"
"You have a one year old?? Your body looks amazing for having a baby so recently."
Those kind of things. I thought it was innocent enough, until today. Every time I look up, he's staring at me. Every break he comes over to talk to me. For lunch, he asked me to go out with him, and against my better judgment I did, and the comments escalated:
"I'm just going to put it out on the table, I think you're hot"
"I carry a gun but there's not much room down there to fit it in my pants" 
At that point, I just laughed uncomfortably and would change the subject. He flat out asked me for my phone number and I said no.
When we went back, I avoided him at all costs - pretended to be on the phone during breaks, ran out of the room when we were let out so I wouldn't end up walking out with him, etc.
There is just something SO incredibly creepy about this guy, and the fact that he used to be a cop, and is now an Air Marshall, just intimidates me to some degree.
How do I handle this? What is the best approach? I'm not so good at all-out-******, but then again, I DO NOT want to give this guy the wrong impression or lead him on at all.
At the very least I'm going in early to talk to the trainer and ask that she find a way to not put us in the same group for breakout sessions 
Now, I recognize, maybe I'm overreacting a bit? But my guard is up and my senses are smelling something really bad here. Perhaps it's my own experiences speaking more than anything else, after having lived with someone stalking me for 3 years... I don't know, all I know is I am CREEPED THE EFF OUT!
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Posted 8/31/10 9:17 PM  |
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Long Island Weddings
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BaroqueMama
Chase is one!
Member since 5/05 27530 total posts
Name:
me
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Re: I need some advice...
I would go to the trainer and ask not to be in the same group, then if he comes to talk to you, just tell him you're going to make a phone call and you'll see him later, and if he asks you to go to lunch, just plain out tell him, "No, thanks. Not today." and leave it at that. If he doesn't get the hint from that, then he's a moron. But I would try that first.
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| Posted 8/31/10 9:23 PM |
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Domino
Always My Miracle
Member since 9/05 9923 total posts
Name:
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Re: I need some advice...
I would say something along the lines of "I am so sorry. I realize by your comments that I might have given you the wrong impression but..." Makes it seem like you're in the wrong and not him so it lets him down easy.
It's not you by the way...those comments would freak me out as well
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| Posted 8/31/10 9:24 PM |
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MrsRitaB
Love of my life! <3
Member since 4/10 4669 total posts
Name:
Ri
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Re: I need some advice...
Posted by BaroqueMama
I would go to the trainer and ask not to be in the same group, then if he comes to talk to you, just tell him you're going to make a phone call and you'll see him later, and if he asks you to go to lunch, just plain out tell him, "No, thanks. Not today." and leave it at that. If he doesn't get the hint from that, then he's a moron. But I would try that first.
ita
ewww guys are so creepy and things like this make me so happy i am not single
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| Posted 8/31/10 9:25 PM |
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LSP2005
Bunny kisses are so cute!
Member since 5/05 19461 total posts
Name:
L
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Re: I need some advice...
Posted by BaroqueMama
I would go to the trainer and ask not to be in the same group, then if he comes to talk to you, just tell him you're going to make a phone call and you'll see him later, and if he asks you to go to lunch, just plain out tell him, "No, thanks. Not today." and leave it at that. If he doesn't get the hint from that, then he's a moron. But I would try that first.
ITA. I would email yourself with all that occurred to "document" the incident. As for this guy, if/when he asks to meet for lunch I would say I am a happily married woman. I am sorry if I gave you any other impression and no, I cannot join you for lunch. I am sorry.
Message edited 8/31/2010 9:31:00 PM.
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| Posted 8/31/10 9:27 PM |
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PaddysGirl
Little princess is here!
Member since 4/07 5923 total posts
Name:
Crystal
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Re: I need some advice...
Posted by Domino
I would say something along the lines of "I am so sorry. I realize by your comments that I might have given you the wrong impression but..." Makes it seem like you're in the wrong and not him so it lets him down easy.
It's not you by the way...those comments would freak me out as well
I agree with this as well. And maybe still ask to be in separate groups for the duration of the training.
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| Posted 8/31/10 9:28 PM |
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trnity44
I hope you stay beautiful baby
Member since 5/05 8356 total posts
Name:
Liz
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Re: I need some advice...
Creepy! Definitely talk to the instructor- and definitely avoid him!
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| Posted 8/31/10 9:54 PM |
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nrthshgrl
It goes fast. Pay attention.
Member since 7/05 57538 total posts
Name:
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Re: I need some advice...
I agree with the separate groups. I hope that dissuades the guy.
From my experience, I think rather than say "no, thank you, I'm married", if you say "no thank you, I'm not interested" there is a finality to it.
I'm sure he's not the only guy that hit on you since you've been stalked - and you didn't get this vibe before. Something about him is creeping you out. Go with your gut & play it cautious.
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| Posted 9/1/10 11:51 AM |
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CaseyGirl
Mommy to 3 Boys :)
Member since 5/05 19978 total posts
Name:
Jen - counting my blessings...
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Re: I need some advice...
Beth - you used to be in HR - his advances make you feel uncomfortable, no? Talk to the trainer. If he continues someone needs to talk with him.
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| Posted 9/1/10 1:57 PM |
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Bxgell2
Perfection
Member since 5/05 16438 total posts
Name:
Beth
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Re: I need some advice...
Posted by CaseyGirl
Beth - you used to be in HR - his advances make you feel uncomfortable, no? Talk to the trainer. If he continues someone needs to talk with him.
Yup, to say the least... so, in the morning I pulled the trainer aside, and she assured me she would discreetly separate us, which she did all day! He would finagle his way back to my table from time to time, but she found a way to move him somehwere else. She was a total gem - during every break she would start a conversation with me, so he wouldn't be able to talk to me, and she escorted me out for lunch and told me to leave 5 minutes early at the end of the day, to avoid him walking out with me 
I also told my supervisor; I told him that I had a handle on it for now, but if it got worse, that I would have to end the training early and make up the remaining days another time, which he was fine with...
So, all is good... so far!
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| Posted 9/1/10 7:50 PM |
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