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Bxgell2
Perfection
Member since 5/05 16438 total posts
Name:
Beth
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I need to vent... long... sorry
It's about work - I'm sure you've all seen my posts of frustration about how my firm is being acquired by a bigger firm in a few weeks. Unlike what we were originally told, the associates aren't being brought in at an entry level salary, but instead a small token raise. I'm so upset because I just spoke to the current managing partner and he told me I'm getting a $7k raise, when I know the other two associates are getting $10k. I'm disappointed, but I can't say I'm suprised - he mentioned that my hours aren't as good as the other two and the new firm can't justify giving me as much because I am a new mom and putting in the hours will be much more of a hardship. How can I argue with that? I can't. The truth is my hours have been pitiful since Alex was born, but what else can I do? He said in October I'll get another review and if I'm happy with the new firm and they're happy with my performance, then I'll be given another raise at that point... which more or less means if I don't start bringing in more hours, in October, at best I'll be flagged "mommy track", and at worst, I'll be let go...
I feel awful, on so many levels - I worked so damn hard to get to where I am. Up until now, I was so proud of myself for graduating with honors, working my butt off and proving myself. But now, I feel ashamed and I feel like a failure. It's embarrassing that I'm getting less than the other two associates, when I know I'm just as intelligent, if not more, than they are, but the only thing that's holding me back is that I can't work the hours they do because I do have a young baby at home. I can't lean on DH too much because his salary is three times as much as mine. I just feel like such a failure. And, I keep thinking, it's ok, I'll prove myself once the merger takes place in July - I'll work the hours and then demand a higher salary at review time, but who am I kidding? I just can't see myself coming in early and leaving late and never seeing Alex, all for some stupid firm I have no allegiance to.
Why does this country have to be so backwards? Why can't working women be given the support they deserve, instead of denigrated to "mommy track". It just plain s**ks. 
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Posted 6/23/06 10:14 AM  |
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monkeybride
My Everything
Member since 5/05 20541 total posts
Name:
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Re: I need to vent... long... sorry
I understand how you feel. I was up there at my job and on the track to hopefully get a district position soon. Well when I got pregnant it was a hard decision to make but I pretty much knew I was jumping off that track for a long time.
I feel strange going to work and kind of being a nobody now but when I think about the alternative I know deep down being with Miranda is more important to me than proving myself to some job. It's hard to watch other people move up and get promoted when I know it could be me but I really don't want to be away from her as much as the job would demand.
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| Posted 6/23/06 10:18 AM |
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aja
my princess
Member since 10/05 2936 total posts
Name:
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Re: I need to vent... long... sorry
I'm sorry you are going through this. Working and raising a child is very difficult as we all know.
Just take one day at a time!
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| Posted 6/23/06 10:21 AM |
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Bxgell2
Perfection
Member since 5/05 16438 total posts
Name:
Beth
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Re: I need to vent... long... sorry
Posted by monkeybride
I understand how you feel. I was up there at my job and on the track to hopefully get a district position soon. Well when I got pregnant it was a hard decision to make but I pretty much knew I was jumping off that track for a long time.
I feel strange going to work and kind of being a nobody now but when I think about the alternative I know deep down being with Miranda is more important to me than proving myself to some job. It's hard to watch other people move up and get promoted when I know it could be me but I really don't want to be away from her as much as the job would demand.
That's exactly how I feel - forlorn that it CAN'T be me moving up the track when I know I'm better than most of the other associates, because Alex means too much to me. It just angers me to no end that this is how it has to be - either commit 150% to work, work for what I deserve and get it, but sacrifice spending any time with my child, or be designated "mommy track" and never be taken as seriously or given what I deserve. Why does it have to be that why? Why can't I have both? Why does this country have to be so screwed up?
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| Posted 6/23/06 10:24 AM |
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mable
2 1/2
Member since 12/05 1304 total posts
Name:
kristen
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Re: I need to vent... long... sorry
Do not feel like a failure.. you are a mom and you work, and yes it scks but we have to do it for our children.. This country is a** backwards..
Since I announced I was having a baby and now still after having the baby its like a disease...
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| Posted 6/23/06 10:28 AM |
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BabyAvocado
Happy New Year
Member since 5/05 17334 total posts
Name:
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Re: I need to vent... long... sorry
I got so upset reading your post. It infuriates me the way women with babies get treated in the workplace, especially in a high profile career like yours. It's disgusting that just because you have a baby at home that (gasp!) you want to spend time with, you should be penalized in your career, when you are just as capable, talented, and dedicated as the other associates.
If the saying is you "can't have it all", it's only because they make it that way, not because you really can't.
Just remember...there are bigger rewards in life than a fat paycheck and a super-successful career.
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| Posted 6/23/06 10:28 AM |
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Susan
Loving Mommyhood!
Member since 5/05 2391 total posts
Name:
Susan
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Re: I need to vent... long... sorry
You will not notice $3,000 less in your paycheck but Alex will notice if she sees less and less of her mommy. Try to force the money issue out of your mind, esp. since it's not substantially less. You're a good mommy and that's what really matters.
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| Posted 6/23/06 10:46 AM |
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Bxgell2
Perfection
Member since 5/05 16438 total posts
Name:
Beth
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Re: I need to vent... long... sorry
Posted by Susan
You will not notice $3,000 less in your paycheck but Alex will notice if she sees less and less of her mommy. Try to force the money issue out of your mind, esp. since it's not substantially less. You're a good mommy and that's what really matters.
You're right... you're totally right. I'm letting my ego get in the way, and I have to let that go. I just wish I could have the awesome career, the money AND be an awesome mommy but that's la-la-land
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| Posted 6/23/06 10:57 AM |
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mommy2bella
Where does time go?
Member since 12/05 9747 total posts
Name:
Kelly
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Re: I need to vent... long... sorry
I am exactly in your position and it stinks. I work in an industry that it's an abnormality to be even married at my age much less have a child...but I can't justify staying until 8 pm to "prove" myself when I could be with Bella. I am terrified of my review at the end of the year not because I don't think I doing a good job, but because they might give me the responsibility and title that two years ago would have made my life.
I am sorry you feel like this.
It's confusing and hard to be a mommy that loves her career.
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| Posted 6/23/06 11:14 AM |
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JRG71
*****************
Member since 5/05 5025 total posts
Name:
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Re: I need to vent... long... sorry
Posted by BabyAvocado
I got so upset reading your post. It infuriates me the way women with babies get treated in the workplace, especially in a high profile career like yours. It's disgusting that just because you have a baby at home that (gasp!) you want to spend time with, you should be penalized in your career, when you are just as capable, talented, and dedicated as the other associates.
If the saying is you "can't have it all", it's only because they make it that way, not because you really can't.
Just remember...there are bigger rewards in life than a fat paycheck and a super-successful career.
I am upset as well - On so many levels... For you, myself, and any other working mother.
I think your right - America has this all wrong. No one supprts family. Companies THINK they do, but they really don't. When it comes down to promotions and pay raises, someone deemed on the mommy track (myself included) will always be passed up. It infuriates me to no end.
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| Posted 6/23/06 11:16 AM |
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MrsJ
I love my Katie Bug
Member since 5/05 11357 total posts
Name:
Kathy
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Re: I need to vent... long... sorry
I'm so sorry. It's unfair that they are targeting you all because you are caring for your baby - which is really what it comes down to. It's just not right. I'm sorry this is happening to you. But I guess what it comes down to is that your baby and family come first and you know what, that's an honorable thing.
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| Posted 6/23/06 11:37 AM |
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dandr10199
Grace is growing up too fast!
Member since 10/05 11561 total posts
Name:
Dina
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Re: I need to vent... long... sorry
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| Posted 6/23/06 11:59 AM |
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aja
my princess
Member since 10/05 2936 total posts
Name:
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Re: I need to vent... long... sorry
Just curious.......is the term "mommy track" really used in companies? What does it mean?
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| Posted 6/23/06 12:28 PM |
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JRG71
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Member since 5/05 5025 total posts
Name:
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Re: I need to vent... long... sorry
Posted by aja
Just curious.......is the term "mommy track" really used in companies? What does it mean?
I've never heard it used out loud, but it def. exisits.
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| Posted 6/23/06 12:43 PM |
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Bxgell2
Perfection
Member since 5/05 16438 total posts
Name:
Beth
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Re: I need to vent... long... sorry
Never heard it used "out loud" either, but at least for attorneys, yes, it exists. It means someone who obviously can't and won't put in the hours that are normally expected of an associate - someone who usually works less hours, or works part-time, and it typically means that that person is kept around but never taken as seriously, and is never really considered for promotion and/or partner status because her priorites are focused more on family rather than work. It usually refers to women who, before having a baby, are very driven, and looked upon as movers and shakers who will move up through the company, but whose status falls once baby is born...
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| Posted 6/23/06 1:01 PM |
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Bxgell2
Perfection
Member since 5/05 16438 total posts
Name:
Beth
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Re: I need to vent... long... sorry
Here are some articles on the subject
Mommy track article
Mommy track article
Dictionary definition of "mommy track"
Message edited 6/23/2006 1:06:47 PM.
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| Posted 6/23/06 1:06 PM |
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aja
my princess
Member since 10/05 2936 total posts
Name:
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Re: I need to vent... long... sorry
that's terrible ...I don't work in the coorperate world so I never really thought about it or realized how difficult it must be. I do work but as a teacher so sometimes I feel like a SAHM.
There must be a lot of sacrifices for you corporate mommies to deal with at work and at home.
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| Posted 6/23/06 1:16 PM |
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hazeleyes33
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 13060 total posts
Name:
Ginger
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Re: I need to vent... long... sorry
Yes, it stinks!! I kind of got that at my job. My boss trained 2 girls for her job, knowing eventually she would leave and they both could not have children. One eventually adopted and left the company and the other one, who DID get her job, got pregnant.
I have been there the longest and have not moved ahead, I think mostly because I have children. This was all her doing.
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| Posted 6/23/06 1:33 PM |
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