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MrsMessina
Thankful for our miracles!
Member since 2/07 7254 total posts
Name:
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I really feel like I'm on the verge of a nervous breakdown...
I swear if I hear my parent tell me one more time about how if I'd just eat better and exercise more that I'd get pregnant on my own I'm going to shoot myself!!!!   
I lost over 10 pounds before this last cycle (which they don't even know about) and though I know I had a better cycle this time, which I think was partially due to that and partially to the change in meds, overall it didn't give me the positive outcome that I'd hoped for.
I'm not stupid- I know that exercise and healthy are positive things, TTC or not- but to make such a blanket statement to me like that is driving me crazy!!!  
I had to call my brother back b/c he called me this morning, and I just completely broke down and lost it on the phone w/ him-- hysterically b/c I'm so hurt by this person's views.
They actually told me that if I truly want to believe a dr's views over theirs--- and how obviously I think the dr wants to see me get pg more than they do.  They just don't get it... I tried explaining to them that not everything is so black and white, but they said to them it is. How does this person claim to have the answers after reading a couple of articles in the newspaper about PCOS???
Message edited 3/4/2009 2:48:26 PM.
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Posted 3/4/09 2:47 PM  |
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Sassyz75
Turning a new page
Member since 5/05 9731 total posts
Name:
Dina
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Re: I really feel like I'm on the verge of a nervous breakdown...
I'm so sorry you have to deal with people in your life bringing you down.
many hugs to you!
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| Posted 3/4/09 3:05 PM |
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karenk71
Love
Member since 6/06 1547 total posts
Name:
Karen
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Re: I really feel like I'm on the verge of a nervous breakdown...
Oh I am sorry you are dealing with this. How frustrating!
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| Posted 3/4/09 3:07 PM |
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Domino
Always My Miracle
Member since 9/05 9923 total posts
Name:
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Re: I really feel like I'm on the verge of a nervous breakdown...
i'm so sorry shannon. i know how you feel. My mother appears to be the authority on everything that is "wrong" with me. Everything you're not supposed to say to someone going through IF she has said to me....look at your cousin Nancy....once she adopted christopher she got pregnant....maybe you should adopt and then you can have your own children Listen if you dont lose weight you're never going to get pregnant After my ectopic in september I heard why cant they just move it to where it belongs a good doctor could do that And lets not forget this morning's comment when I called with the results of the sonogram...."Oh so they're sure you're pregnant now...even without a heatbeat?" How did this woman have two children and not know these things? Apparently SHE'S the one with the medical degree....i have also heard a lot of "well I read...." and "someone said....." and "I heard..." It is enough to drive someone batty. I sympathize with you sweetie...I really do
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| Posted 3/4/09 3:07 PM |
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BA2008
Need to find some hope!
Member since 2/08 2485 total posts
Name:
Beth -Ann
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Re: I really feel like I'm on the verge of a nervous breakdown...
Screw everybody...except us on the board, of course!
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| Posted 3/4/09 3:11 PM |
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Blu-ize
Plan B is Now Plan A
Member since 7/05 32475 total posts
Name:
Susan
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Re: I really feel like I'm on the verge of a nervous breakdown...
I'm so sorry about this. Maybe someone needs to hear it from your doctor.
How about taking one of these negative know it alls to a consult with you?
Is DH defending you on this?
They obviously know better than your doctor.
Plenty of people get pregnant that are in poor health, PCOS or not and have perfectly fine pregnancies and healthy babies. You are not in poor health but have a few issues and that shouldn't be the determining factor.
Getting pregnant isn't as easy as they think it is. If it was there would be no Fertility clinics and people wouldn't pay tens of thousands of dollars to try. If it was so black and white these things woudn't exist. Their theory holds no water at all.
You keep your eye on the prize and don't discuss it with them anymore. Tell them that too. If they aren't supportive of decisions you have made then they need to shut up.
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| Posted 3/4/09 3:14 PM |
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BA2008
Need to find some hope!
Member since 2/08 2485 total posts
Name:
Beth -Ann
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Re: I really feel like I'm on the verge of a nervous breakdown...
Posted by Blu-ize
I'm so sorry about this. Maybe someone needs to hear it from your doctor.
How about taking one of these negative know it alls to a consult with you?
Is DH defending you on this?
They obviously know better than your doctor.
Plenty of people get pregnant that are in poor health, PCOS or not and have perfectly fine pregnancies and healthy babies. You are not in poor health but have a few issues and that shouldn't be the determining factor.
Getting pregnant isn't as easy as they think it is. If it was there would be no Fertility clinics and people wouldn't pay tens of thousands of dollars to try. If it was so black and white these things woudn't exist. Their theory holds no water at all.
You keep your eye on the prize and don't discuss it with them anymore. Tell them that too. If they aren't supportive of decisions you have made then they need to shut up.
You said it!!!!
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| Posted 3/4/09 3:19 PM |
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maybeamommy
Blessed beyond belief
Member since 10/07 17048 total posts
Name:
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Re: I really feel like I'm on the verge of a nervous breakdown...
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| Posted 3/4/09 3:22 PM |
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MrsMessina
Thankful for our miracles!
Member since 2/07 7254 total posts
Name:
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Re: I really feel like I'm on the verge of a nervous breakdown...
Thanks guys. DH is at work and told me to just 'hang in there' when I called him up all upset. They laid someone off last week in his group and now they're extremely short staffed as there were only 6 of them in the group to begin with- so I guess he's too busy to talk right now.
The funny thing is I NEVER brought anything pertaining to PCOS/IF etc... up.  I went out to lunch with my parents and my mom mentioned taking me to an appointment that I have in the morning in Riverhead.
She left from the restaurant to go back to work and my dad drove me home. And that's when he started... He has always been one of my biggest, if not my biggest supporter throughout my life. So I just don't understand why he's not 'getting it'. I told him how many dr's I've been to and he said exactly- and they're not working, so now you should try my way. I just don't get it...
Message edited 3/4/2009 3:26:39 PM.
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| Posted 3/4/09 3:25 PM |
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skinny
3 boys and a princess!
Member since 11/08 8178 total posts
Name:
Momma
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Re: I really feel like I'm on the verge of a nervous breakdown...
I'm sorry! I think a lot of us have dealt with stupid people who say such ignorant things. It's so frustrating!
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| Posted 3/4/09 3:27 PM |
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JennyPenny
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Member since 1/08 12702 total posts
Name:
Jen
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Re: I really feel like I'm on the verge of a nervous breakdown...
I'm sorry Shannon. Believe me- i've heard it all too. Probably most of us have. You and your doctor know what's best- not your parents, as much as they want to believe they do.
Maybe he just feels helpless and is offering his (pretty terrible) advice??\
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| Posted 3/4/09 3:36 PM |
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CAH127
LIF Adult
Member since 7/07 1694 total posts
Name:
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Re: I really feel like I'm on the verge of a nervous breakdown...
I'm so sorry you are going through this. Unfortunately unless someone has been through this, they cannot truly know all that is involved.
Message edited 3/4/2009 3:46:27 PM.
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| Posted 3/4/09 3:46 PM |
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Blu-ize
Plan B is Now Plan A
Member since 7/05 32475 total posts
Name:
Susan
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Re: I really feel like I'm on the verge of a nervous breakdown...
He wants to fix things. I get it. But he's operating from a place of ignorance.
His heart is in the right place but it's so frustrating!
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| Posted 3/4/09 4:23 PM |
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MrsMessina
Thankful for our miracles!
Member since 2/07 7254 total posts
Name:
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Re: I really feel like I'm on the verge of a nervous breakdown...
Posted by Blu-ize
He wants to fix things. I get it. But he's operating from a place of ignorance.
His heart is in the right place but it's so frustrating!
Yup, I agree. And that's what makes it harder. On one hand I want to him.  But on the other I want to him b/c he doesn't know how to fix it either... But his way of 'helping' is WAY off here...
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| Posted 3/4/09 4:37 PM |
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Blu-ize
Plan B is Now Plan A
Member since 7/05 32475 total posts
Name:
Susan
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Re: I really feel like I'm on the verge of a nervous breakdown...
fo schnizzle...he needs to find another way!
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| Posted 3/4/09 4:43 PM |
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Diana712
RIP my beloved Brother Richard
Member since 5/07 6710 total posts
Name:
Diana
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Re: I really feel like I'm on the verge of a nervous breakdown...
I am so sorry this is what your are dealing with Shannon.. People are ignorant to this IF and thats all I can really say.. please try to ignore... 
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| Posted 3/4/09 4:51 PM |
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diva7531
My Peanut
Member since 2/07 5199 total posts
Name:
Ryan 3 boys EDD 11/6!
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Re: I really feel like I'm on the verge of a nervous breakdown...
I'm sorry yuo are going through this. My father has told me multiple times that I should lose weight and then I will get PG, but then my sis (who is only 20-30 lbs lighter) got PG naturally with twins. I think now he'll stop, but we'll see!
Hopefully one day, somehow they will understand
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| Posted 3/4/09 5:24 PM |
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MaMaTeenie
Party of 5
Member since 4/08 6489 total posts
Name:
Mommy
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Re: I really feel like I'm on the verge of a nervous breakdown...
I'm so sorry, but if helps you any you are not alone when it comes to mothers who say/do the wrong thing. I didn't even tell my parents about this pregnancy, but my mom being as nosey as she is had to know where I went last night (i was a little late getting to their house for dinner) when I told her the dr she assumed I was PG so I had to tell her about the MC. Right now we are living in a rental house b/c we had pipes burst in our house anyway, I was bringing laundry to my moms and she said "did the dr say you shouldn't carry so much laundry?" I said "no, the dr didn't tell me the mc was my fault" I was so upset by her comment. I try hard enough not to think it was my fault and believe me it wasn't alot of laundry either.....of course she tried to eat her words, but once they are out there they hurt.
Try not to let it get to you......people just don't know how hurtful their words can be or they just don't think before speaking.
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| Posted 3/4/09 5:37 PM |
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LisaW
Time for me to FLY!
Member since 5/05 13199 total posts
Name:
Did I ever tell you that I hate people?
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Re: I really feel like I'm on the verge of a nervous breakdown...
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| Posted 3/4/09 5:58 PM |
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spooks
So in love!
Member since 6/06 4378 total posts
Name:
Sarah
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Re: I really feel like I'm on the verge of a nervous breakdown...
I'm so sorry - its so hurtful and frustrating when dealing with people like that. We're all here for you.
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| Posted 3/4/09 6:14 PM |
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WNA01
my 2 boys
Member since 10/08 4240 total posts
Name:
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Re: I really feel like I'm on the verge of a nervous breakdown...
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| Posted 3/4/09 6:17 PM |
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CityNYGirl
My everything!!!!!
Member since 5/05 2324 total posts
Name:
Betty
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Re: I really feel like I'm on the verge of a nervous breakdown...
I know it is hard but try to ignore comments like that......
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| Posted 3/4/09 6:44 PM |
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-BabyMiracle-
When will my ship come in?
Member since 9/07 1056 total posts
Name:
J
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Re: I really feel like I'm on the verge of a nervous breakdown...
I have TOTALLY been there!
My mom likes to tell me to get a St. Gerard statue and bury it upside down in the backyard my sister wants me to write letters to "rich people" so they could sponsor us to have a child ($$$), perhaps the doctors are messing up so that they get more money from us, other people have it worse, YES I know but this is the WORST FOR ME!
They won't ever learn and I have learned the best thing to do is to keep my mouth shut. They will never understand unless they go through it themselves! 
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| Posted 3/4/09 6:52 PM |
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Sneezy
Thankful for my miracle!
Member since 5/05 1939 total posts
Name:
Jen
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Re: I really feel like I'm on the verge of a nervous breakdown...
Can you enlist some help from your DH? Maybe if you and he sit down with your parents and truly explain to your father how much he is hurting you he will stop. What did your brother say when you told him?
Maybe it would help a little if you told your father more about the things you have gone through. I know you have been private about some things. Your mom has gone to the doctor with you on occaision. Can she put him in his place?
I am sorry you are having a rough time and that it is being made rougher by someone you are so close to.
You know he means well, but his attempts to help are very misguided. Parents want to fix things. That's their job. He does need a verbal smack upside the head though.
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| Posted 3/4/09 8:01 PM |
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MrsMessina
Thankful for our miracles!
Member since 2/07 7254 total posts
Name:
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Re: I really feel like I'm on the verge of a nervous breakdown...
Posted by Sneezy
Maybe it would help a little if you told your father more about the things you have gone through. I know you have been private about some things. Your mom has gone to the doctor with you on occaision. Can she put him in his place?
No- now you know why I don't tell him what's going on. If he knew 1/2 of what I've been thru- you'd hear him from your house. He'd be constantly nagging me to try everything his way b/c 'obviously the dr's way isn't working'
It's just easier this way for now, believe it or not... My brother was great- he listened to me cry and told me not to (he hates to hear me cry ) and told me "that's just how dad is..." which is true. Plain and simple. I'm not going to teach an old dog new tricks, and I'm certainly not going to change his views on things... sigh.
DH and I have sat down with them in the past... but unfortunately as more time goes on and we're still not pg, knowing how many cycles we're doing, or not knowing--- it doesn't make a difference. They're just noticing time passing and me still not pg--- and it's just easier and easier for him to say the dr's ways aren't working...  Though I know he means well...
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| Posted 3/4/09 8:58 PM |
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