I really need advice/hugs/valium......

I don't know if maybe Maddie was just a super easy baby or if maybe I'm suffering from amnesia, but I'm feeling REALLY overwhelmed with Eliza.

She's terribly fussy...... all day. She has to be held- and even then, she is CONSTANTLY moving. Even after eating, she's rooting around as though still hungry, but will fuss if I try to put her to my breast. She's pooping and has wet diapers constantly, so I know she's getting enough.

Thankfully, she settles down enough at night and WILL sleep between feedings at night). During the day however, she is constantly either at my breast, or on my shoulder. If I dare put her in the swing or bouncy, she'll sit for maybe 5 minutes, then she's fussing and often wailing to be picked up. With Maddie I distinctly remember she had a DEFINITE witching hour (in the evening), but I don't remember her being fussy all day. In fact, I remember actually SLEEPING while she slept. Eliza, on the other hand, doesn't nap anywhere but on me during the day.

Today was a really bad day. DH is off today and we decided to go out to Target (I've been DYING to get the hell out of this house- but was too afraid with both kids alone). Well- 20 minutes into it and Eliza starts crying. I took her to a fitting room to nurse a bit, but once I put her back in the carrier she started all out crying. The kid was fed, burped and had a dry heiney- yet still cried. Needless to say, DH and I both felt totally defeated.

I just don't EVER remember feeling like I was AFRAID to go ANYWHERE with Maddie when she was 5 weeks old. Hell- I even drove to NY ALONE with her when she was 3 weeks old. Now, the idea of driving up to NY for Christmas is terrifying to me.

I KNOW it will get better. I'm just feeling so disappointed. Like I said, today was a BAD day.....

Re: I really need advice/hugs/valium......

You already know that it gets better, so I won't state the obvious.

Have you tried a bjorn? I had that and not a sling and it was wonderful. Maybe that way you can keep her close, but still get stuff done?

Re: I really need advice/hugs/valium......

I can only imagine how difficult it is with a toddler and a newborn

Re: I really need advice/hugs/valium......

Posted by KateDevine



You already know that it gets better, so I won't state the obvious.

Have you tried a bjorn? I had that and not a sling and it was wonderful. Maybe that way you can keep her close, but still get stuff done?

Re: I really need advice/hugs/valium......

is it possible she has reflux? crying even after eating and not wanting to be lying down really makes me think reflux right off the bat. maybe talk to your doctor about it?

Re: I really need advice/hugs/valium......

Oh Amy, it will get better. It will.

Use the sling in the store too!

Message edited 12/8/2008 8:13:01 PM.

Re: I really need advice/hugs/valium......

I'm so sorry, it's so tough.

Is there anyway for you to get out alone? I know it doesn't solve any problems for the baby, but getting out without the baby helped me to clear my head when I got really stressed out.

Re: I really need advice/hugs/valium......

Re: I really need advice/hugs/valium......

Posted by Porrruss

Posted by KateDevine



You already know that it gets better, so I won't state the obvious.

Have you tried a bjorn? I had that and not a sling and it was wonderful. Maybe that way you can keep her close, but still get stuff done?

Oh yes- I blew the dust off that sucker and have been using it. I will say, I AM able to get the necessitites done around the house. I guess I'm just frustrated that I can't LEAVE the house for fear of looking like a child abuser who lets her newborn cry herself unconcious.

Re: I really need advice/hugs/valium......

Re: I really need advice/hugs/valium......

that sounds difficult

maybe she just is having difficulties getting used to feeling her digestive system churn? If that's the case, she may outgrow it very soon.....

Re: I really need advice/hugs/valium......

I hope it gets better soon and I hope that it isn't, but could it be colic? DD had terrible colic...screamed all day...basically every waking minute...swaddling/holding/rocking/sucking helped (Happiest Baby). Luckily, she slept well and only woke up to eat (still does). She still cries a lot and is a sensitive baby. Her colic really started to pick up at that age.

Re: I really need advice/hugs/valium......

My DS was the same way. He is 4 1/2 months now. He is MUCH better now, however he doesn't like the swing - my DD LIVED in her swing. So I run out of options fast and he's a TERRIBLE napper and wants to sleep with me, leaving me ignoring my 2 yr old a lot of the day. But he's generally a happy baby.

But I remember just a few months back...he would SCREAM in the infant carrier (he still does most of the time when we are driving). He was fine when I took him out but wanted no part of it. I went to Kohls with just him once and everyone's heads turned because he was screaming/purple. I just laughed...otherwise I would have cried!

It DOES get better. It's amazing how quickly we forget how things were with our first baby! 5 weeks is still so young.

And I don't know your DD but I do remember you entitling your avatar "witchy woman" so she couldn't have been a complete angel.

How is big sis doing? BTW - I changed my name - I was Kitkat

ETA: I don't think it's reflux. My DD was the same way. She was really high energy and cried a lot. Not colic but had a long witching hour and would scream all the time after I nursed/gave her a bottle. Now that I have DS...who is more mellow and has different eating habits...I can sum it up to the fact that she was a piglet. I remember when I started solids, she'd finish a stage 1 within one minute. DS takes his time and actually enjoys his food and doesn't inhale it like she did!

Message edited 12/8/2008 8:22:37 PM.

Re: I really need advice/hugs/valium......

Thanks ladies- I just need a pity party tonight.

I will say- my husband is by far the most awesomest of men. He's always ready to take the kids when he IS home (he's working ALOT while I'm on (unpaid) maternity leave). So I DO get some time to regroup.

Today though- he wasn't his normal, "We'll get through this" self. I saw the same look of fear in his eyes that I KNOW I've had in mine for the past 5 weeks. He's been my "rock" all along. To think he's not truly believing his "it'll all be fine" schpeil scares the crap outta me.

As for the PP who mentioned reflux- if she was truly refluxing, wouldn't she be fussing at ALL feedings? She has her moments throughout the day and all her feedings at night where she nurses just fine. She definitely IS a spitter- but I wouldn't say it was projectile. The GER thing is confusing to me.

Thanks for the support ladies- I'm definitely needing it.

Re: I really need advice/hugs/valium......

Aw, hang in there! I had a similar situation--except the other way around (and I still went back for seconds ), so I know how you feel!

Re: I really need advice/hugs/valium......

She could have reflux or colic. It was a nightmare with DS. 9am to 9pm all day in my arms. Screaming when putting down anywhere put my arms. No naps. It got better at 8 weeks.

Re: I really need advice/hugs/valium......

I can totally understand your frustration. DD had colic, and DS is allergic to milk but we didn't know at first and just thought he was colicy too.

I hope it gets resolved soon.

Re: I really need advice/hugs/valium......

A good friend of mine has a super fussy baby. Her SIL gave her a book, "The Happiest Baby on the Block," by Dr. Harvey Karp. Her MIL took out the video by the same name for my friend and the techniques work like a charm!! She lent me the video [it's about an hour long] and though my DD isn't fussy much, I have used the techniques and it really does work!! Even though you are a BTDT mom, I would highly recommend checking to see if your library has the video [that is where my friend's MIL got it from] or check out the website to order it. I swear to you... it is magic!! Good luck! The Happiest Baby on the Block

Re: I really need advice/hugs/valium......

Hope it gets better soon!!!

Re: I really need advice/hugs/valium......

She doesn't have to be uncomfortable at all feedings in order to have reflux. Remember, she is eating what you are eating. Have you kept a food diary and see if there are any patterns?

Also, she may be really gassy. My kidlets went through the same thing and even being carried didn't answer the problem. So we tried gripe water! It was a life saver!

Also, do you swaddle when she naps? She may like being wrapped up nice and tight!

Good Luck!!!

Re: I really need advice/hugs/valium......

When we brought DD home, she would fuss and cry alot. The only time she wasn't fussing or cryng was when I would feed her or when she napped. For us, she would nap in the swing and bouncer and was sleeping great at night. But when she was up..SHE WAS UP and let you know it! For me, I was getting frustrated and down on myself because my son was 20 months at the time and just so easy. So here I had a fussy newborn and an angel of a toddler. Eventually I realized it was just her way and there was nothing I could do. She evenually grew out of it but I also stopped comparing the 2 because I needed to realize they were not the same and they both have different personalities....It will get better. She is only 5 weeks and before you know, she will be 5 months and you will be going to Target with both kids on your own

Re: I really need advice/hugs/valium......

Sounds like me in the beginning with Bella...I'm sure you remember!

It DOES get better and we're stronger for getting through it.

You CAN get through this. Some days are going to be tough, but when you get into your routine...it'll even out.

I'm so sorry things are so tough right now

Start babywearing. You might find that helps during the day. If not in the Bjorn, then try a wrap of some sort.

Re: I really need advice/hugs/valium......

I hope it gets better!!

Re: I really need advice/hugs/valium......

Re: I really need advice/hugs/valium......

Ok, first of all-- like others have said, you're dealing with a newborn AND a young toddler. So bravo to you for doing just that

Second-- I think your memory is gone I distinctly remember commiserating with you MANY times about our newborns and their horrid witching hours...I could be way off, but wasn't Maddie's at like 7pm or something (my DD's was like 2-4am, so I was envious of your Maddie's witching hour )? Anyway-- you made it through that, and see how quickly you forgot about it???

So you can make it through this!!!!!