I saw this on a blog - I thought I was laid back, but not THIS laid back!!!

I left my 9-year-old at Bloomingdale’s (the original one) a couple weeks ago. Last seen, he was in first floor handbags as I sashayed out the door. Bye-bye! Have fun!

And he did. He came home on the subway and bus by himself .

Was I worried? Yes, a tinge. But it didn’t strike me as that daring, either. Isn’t New York as safe now as it was in 1963? It’s not like we’re living in downtown Baghdad.

Anyway, for weeks my boy had been begging for me to please leave him somewhere, anywhere, and let him try to figure out how to get home on his own. So on that sunny Sunday I gave him a subway map, a MetroCard, a $20 bill, and several quarters, just in case he had to make a call.

No, I did not give him a cell phone. Didn’t want to lose it. And no, I didn’t trail him, like a mommy private eye. I trusted him to figure out that he should take the Lexington Avenue subway down, and the 34th Street crosstown bus home. If he couldn’t do that, I trusted him to ask a stranger. And then I even trusted that stranger not to think, “Gee, I was about to catch my train home, but now I think I’ll abduct this adorable child instead.”

Long story short: My son got home, ecstatic with independence.

Re: I saw this on a blog - I thought I was laid back, but not THIS laid back!!!

is this for real?!?! if it is that that woman is NUTS!

Re: I saw this on a blog - I thought I was laid back, but not THIS laid back!!!

I heard about this- my mom mentioned reading the article when it was first printed (NY Times maybe? or was it a book). Its a little extreme me thinks.

Re: I saw this on a blog - I thought I was laid back, but not THIS laid back!!!

YUP, it's real.

I saw this a few months ago on

THE TODAY SHOW

Re: I saw this on a blog - I thought I was laid back, but not THIS laid back!!!

What????

This woman is INSANE!!

Twenty-five years ago I was grounded for an entire summer for sneaking off into the city to stalk my favorite band... yes, an entire summer because I scared the life out of my dad.... I thought I knew what I was doing... doesn't every 13 year old?... and then got stranded at Jamaica train station at 10 pm at night.

And this woman planned this?

Message edited 6/30/2008 2:09:47 PM.

Re: I saw this on a blog - I thought I was laid back, but not THIS laid back!!!

that is crazy! Who does that, there are other ways (safer} for children to feel indepence

Re: I saw this on a blog - I thought I was laid back, but not THIS laid back!!!

Know what gets me the most n this article? She didn't give him a cell phone because she didn't want him to lose it...

Missing chilllldddd.... missing celll phoooone....... missing CHILD.... Missing Cell Phone.... Hmmmm.....

Re: I saw this on a blog - I thought I was laid back, but not THIS laid back!!!

Posted by lipglossjunky73

Know what gets me the most n this article? She didn't give him a cell phone because she didn't want him to lose it...

Missing chilllldddd.... missing celll phoooone....... missing CHILD.... Missing Cell Phone.... Hmmmm.....

Re: I saw this on a blog - I thought I was laid back, but not THIS laid back!!!

At 9?!!! Maybe a nice experiment at 14. But, 9?!

Re: I saw this on a blog - I thought I was laid back, but not THIS laid back!!!

::trying not to judge::::trying not to judge::::trying not to judge::::trying not to judge::::trying not to judge::::trying not to judge::::trying not to judge::::trying not to judge::::trying not to judge::

W T F?

Definitely not comfortable doing that. For me, there are other ways to test independence. That's a big chance she's taking.

Re: I saw this on a blog - I thought I was laid back, but not THIS laid back!!!

I hope she never has to write a blog entry asking that stranger why they didn't just catch the train home instead of abducting her child.

Re: I saw this on a blog - I thought I was laid back, but not THIS laid back!!!

Ok- as a city mom, I have no doubt that I will be having a similar conversation with Jordana if we stay in the city for another 7 years. Miss independent at 2 will be a whole other set at 9. My former 11 year old neighbor used to take the subway to school herself every day. I see it.

HOWEVER, the first time she wants to get home by herself on the subway, DAMN STRAIGHT I am tailing her AND giving her a cell phone. I want to make sure she is safe.

Re: I saw this on a blog - I thought I was laid back, but not THIS laid back!!!

Totally irresponsible. The kid who is 9 asked so she let him do it. Glad he did not ask to go to Columbia to get some land and grow his own marijuana.

Re: I saw this on a blog - I thought I was laid back, but not THIS laid back!!!

Re: I saw this on a blog - I thought I was laid back, but not THIS laid back!!!

You know...I really don't think she is THAT far off. Would *I* do it...I don't know. But lots of kids here in the city take public transportation to/from school. Take the train to a friend's house, bus to the mall, etc. I remember I was in 7th grade and lied to my mom that I was taking the bus to the mall and I really went to Steinway Street. (if she knew, she would have killed me ).

Re: I saw this on a blog - I thought I was laid back, but not THIS laid back!!!

Yeah OK...Im laid back to a point too...

Let's put it this way. The twins are 9. They wanted to ride their bikes to school. It's not too far really maybe 3/4 of a mile. I walked there with them and back and then walked back picked them up and walked back with them...thought a couple of times of letting them come home on their own...Nope not ready yet...the fact that it's all side streets in our neighborhood didnt make a difference. Wasnt going to happen..maybe next year.

Re: I saw this on a blog - I thought I was laid back, but not THIS laid back!!!

Re: I saw this on a blog - I thought I was laid back, but not THIS laid back!!!

I read this, I thought it was an okay thing she did. My parents let me traipse all over NYC when I was 12. If she knew her child was responsible enough to do this, so be it. When I was growing up my friends in NYC all went to school on the subway when they were 9/10 years old. Would I let my child do it? If I thought my child were savvy and street smart enough, yes I would.

I worry more about suburban traffic than anything else.

eta, I think the woman who wrote this is a journalist. She went onto TV to talk about kids being wrapped in cotton wool.

Message edited 6/30/2008 3:37:46 PM.

Re: I saw this on a blog - I thought I was laid back, but not THIS laid back!!!

I think if your kid is responsible enough, it's not a really big deal. However, since this kid wasn't responsible enough to be trusted with a cell phone, I don't think it was appropriate.

Re: I saw this on a blog - I thought I was laid back, but not THIS laid back!!!

Re: I saw this on a blog - I thought I was laid back, but not THIS laid back!!!

There is a time and a place for teaching and granting this kind of independence to a child, and a way to do it responsibly.

At 9 years old, I don't care how saavy and mature your child is, I don't think it's old enough to allow your child to go traipsing through NYC by himself.

Like another poster said, if she didn't trust him with a cell phone for fear of losing it, then I cannot fathom why she felt he was mature enough to wander around the city by himself.

And, when and if you embark on this important lesson of independence, you better damn well make sure your child has some means of communicating with you in case something goes wrong, or in case there is an emergency.

Re: I saw this on a blog - I thought I was laid back, but not THIS laid back!!!

Im sorry, i could never even picture my 9 year old ds asking to do this. I don't let him ride to school either and I can see the school from my house. He was just allowed to cross my street this year. AND he's my youngest, so Ive BTDT with alot.

Re: I saw this on a blog - I thought I was laid back, but not THIS laid back!!!

Posted by lipglossjunky73

Know what gets me the most n this article? She didn't give him a cell phone because she didn't want him to lose it...

Missing chilllldddd.... missing celll phoooone....... missing CHILD.... Missing Cell Phone.... Hmmmm.....

Re: I saw this on a blog - I thought I was laid back, but not THIS laid back!!!

I would never let my DD do this...

However I work in the city and see lots of young children 9, 10 , 11....riding the subway by themselves. They "seem" to know what they are doing. I don't know if the parents rode with them several times until they got the hang of it or if they had the "good luck hope you make it home" attitude. I do think that people that live in the city have a different way of doing things. It isn't quite the same as letting you DC walk home along sunrise hwy or the LIE. As for the cellphone thing... that woman is insane not to give her child one.

Re: I saw this on a blog - I thought I was laid back, but not THIS laid back!!!

I don't think it's that nuts depending on the kid but to NOT GIVE HIM A CELL PHONE? Come on, that just sounds cruel to me. Let him try but give him the easiest and safest way out possible. Plus I can't imagine not tailing him to make sure he figured it out ok- the subway is so confusing.