I thought you can't spoil a newborn?

She will be 5 weeks tuesday- she will not sleep in her bassinet anymore, she will only sleep if you are holding her.

So we wait for her to fall asleep to put her in, and she lasts a short time until she wakes up and realizes she is not being held.
Any ideas?

Re: I thought you can't spoil a newborn?

You can't spoil a newborn. We still have to get Miranda to sleep before we put her down and fairly often she comes into bed with me in the middle of the night. Most books will say that your baby needs the security of knowing you are there and that her needs will be met.
At 3 months old I still don't let Miranda cry anything out. I really don't plan on starting too much behavior stuff until 5-6 months old. The only thing I am trying to do now is establish routines.
I am sure you will get different opinons on this but I truly believe you cannot spoil a newborn. Their brain isn't developed enough to manipulate you yet.


ETA: Think about it too. For 9 months she was tight and secure inside you with all of these sounds that were comforting to her. Then she gets thrown into this world that is loud and cold and overstimulating. Of course someones arms (especially mommy's) are going to feel the most comforting and secure to her right now. It does get easier though. At 5 weeks I thought I was never going to get a night's sleep again but each week you will see her improve and "grow up" a little bit more.
Have you read The Happiest Baby on the Block or watched the DVD (much faster this way). He has great tips for comforting and soothing newborns. #1 being a tight swaddle.

Message edited 1/1/2006 11:35:53 PM.

Re: I thought you can't spoil a newborn?

Re: I thought you can't spoil a newborn?

I dont care what you call it... I believe you gotta meet your newborns needs...

I agree w/ Monkey aroun 5 months is a good age to start the behavioral stuff...

Ryan was the same way as Catherine...it turns out...he just hated his bassinett....

Ryan slept in his carrier (which was in his bassinett) everynight..up until we moved him in his crib @ 2 months...

I dont know if it was the position...if it tricked him into thinking i was holding him OR it was that secure feeling that babys look for...

Try the crib...or even the carrier....Everyone told me it would be a hard transition but it wasnt...

When we finally moved Ryan over to his crib...he wanted to spread out and move around!

Message edited 1/1/2006 11:38:44 PM.

Re: I thought you can't spoil a newborn?

Message edited 1/1/2006 11:39:03 PM.

Re: I thought you can't spoil a newborn?

I never let her cry- I don't think I ever will. She does like being swaddled.
It is just getting hard to never be able to put her down!

Message edited 1/2/2006 12:03:23 AM.

Re: I thought you can't spoil a newborn?

Re: I thought you can't spoil a newborn?

I sympathize, I really do. Have you tried co-sleeping at all?
I never wanted to do it because I was too afraid but at some point I had to get some sleep. Oh we also used a snuggle nest in the bed until about 6 weeks and Miranda also only sleeps elevated because of her reflux but I wonder if maybe Catherine might light sleeping on a bit of an angle since she seems to like sleeping being held which is kind of angled instead of flat.


Co sleeping means having her in bed with us, right?
I would do that but I am afraid of rolling over on her- I feel like she is still to small for that. What is a snuggle nest?
I sometimes sleep with ther on the couch all propped up with pillows (dh does this a lot at night) but I would really love for her to sleep for a few hours not being held!
I just said to dh I do not think she likes sleeping flat on her back- how do you elevate Miranda?

Re: I thought you can't spoil a newborn?

You could try getting an inclined positioner...

Re: I thought you can't spoil a newborn?

Re: I thought you can't spoil a newborn?

I think this is more about the bassinet than spoiling. Jake hated his bassinet also and even if he fell asleep in my arms and we tried to transfer him there, he would wake up. He didn't like to be swaddled but he did like to be warm and snuggled. The solution? The car seat! I think he loved that enclosed feeling so that's where he slept for the first 6 weeks or so. Then it was off to the crib once he started sleeping longer than 3 - 4 hour stretches because I was more worried about his positioning in there.

Amazingly, the transfer to the crib went very smoothly. We used a positioner and elevated his head and he was fine. I think putting him in the crib was alot harder on me than it was on him.

Anyway, I would definitely try swaddling very tightly or the car seat.

Re: I thought you can't spoil a newborn?

Another option if you really need to get them in their crib/bassinet (which it sounds like you're doing just fine) is to roll a towel into a thick roll and position it along side of them. They did this in the hospital in the special care unit. They used first aid tape to hold them so they didn't unravel.

The car seat is a good option - since it does keep them inclined. We used to do that for Joseph & Maddie when they had colds. I did want them to be able to move around more though.

The bottom line is whatever is going to work for you. There is no such thing as spoiling a baby, but if you can get them to fall asleep on their own it does make it easier for you in the long run.

Message edited 1/2/2006 8:13:54 AM.

Re: I thought you can't spoil a newborn?

Alex had some of the same issues in the beginning, but once we started using a sleep positioner they disappeared. We lay her on her side in the positioner (she's gassy, and she seems to prefer her side when it's bad). Both sides lean up against her so I guess ina way it feels like she's nice and secure and being held... either that, or we put her in the swing

Re: I thought you can't spoil a newborn?

We had a similar problem with our daughter too. She hated her bassinette. I feel that the mattresses for the bassinette's are much thinner than a crib matress and she never got a good nights sleep in the bassinette. As soon as we moved her to the crib it was much better.

Good luck

Re: I thought you can't spoil a newborn?

Posted by monkeybride

Posted by KPtoys

Posted by monkeybride


ETA: Think about it too. For 9 months she was tight and secure inside you with all of these sounds that were comforting to her. Then she gets thrown into this world that is loud and cold and overstimulating. Of course someones arms (especially mommy's) are going to feel the most comforting and secure to her right now. It does get easier though. At 5 weeks I thought I was never going to get a night's sleep again but each week you will see her improve and "grow up" a little bit more.
Have you read The Happiest Baby on the Block or watched the DVD (much faster this way). He has great tips for comforting and soothing newborns. #1 being a tight swaddle.

This is everything I would say!

KPToys...I think we agree on a lot of parenting ideas.

Re: I thought you can't spoil a newborn?

Re: I thought you can't spoil a newborn?

IMO you can't spoil a newborn. Molly went thru this for a while too. Who doesn't like to be cuddled. Remember she was inside a nice cuddly space for many months.

I never did CIO with Molly so I can't comment on that, but I can say that IMO 6 weeks is WAY to young to do it.

You could move her to the crib and see if that helps. Some babies don't like the bassinet very much.