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LisaW
Time for me to FLY!
Member since 5/05 13199 total posts
Name:
Did I ever tell you that I hate people?
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IF Sensitivity
Found this on another board...
How to be sensitive to your IF friend
You are not an expert in conception. Having a viable pregnancy does not make you an expert in this. Trust me, your IF friend has read more books and knows more about conception than you could ever hope to know.
RELAXING is not a medical treatment for IF.
IF is a medical condition treated with a wide array of treatments none of which include a pillow under the hips!
Don't offer us your eggs/sperm/uterus. This is like me wanting a porsche and you offering to let me drive yours. If I ever want to drive your porsche I'll ask.
IF treatments are intensive, sometimes painful, always emotionally taxing procedures. This isn't like getting a splinter removed. If your friend has a procedure - CALL and ask how she is doing at least. Flowers and chocolate are also appreciated.
Fertility drugs can make you crazy. Erratic behavior is expected, please understand. Imagine your worst PMS then multiply it by 1000 then imagine it is happening during a devistating time in your life like the loss of a loved one - this may get you 1/2 way to grasping the roller coaster her emotions are on.
The failure of an IF cycle is like dying a little inside. Flippant remarks like "you can have my kid" or "don't worry it will happen" is demeaning.
How many pregnancy tests have you taken? We've peed on hundreds of home pregnancy test sticks. We have prayed over the stick for 3 minutes for 2 pink lines. We have held the stick in the light and looked for even the phantom of a line. We have cried over many sticks and taken another (and another) to be sure. Our relationship with pregnancy tests are not the same as yours.
Our IF is NOT at all like the "agonizing 4 months" it took you to get pregnant. We are not being impatient we are suffering from an illness (or illnesses).
Don't say "you can always adopt." While adoption is a beautiful option and we may get there one day - don't assume we are there now. Giving up on our biology is a difficult process of loss. Saying this to a couple who is not ready to move on is paramount to saying "you can always remarry" to a woman who's husband has just died.
Don't ask us "are you pregnant" every time we call. For goodness sake we will let you know! Your prayers are so so welcome but don't ask stupid questions. Do you want to support me? Tell me that you can't imagine what we are going through. Tell me you don't know what to say but that you are always there for me if I need you.
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Posted 4/15/06 7:16 PM  |
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Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
rose825
Best Friends
Member since 6/05 10228 total posts
Name:
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Re: IF Sensitivity
I love this!
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| Posted 4/15/06 10:17 PM |
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leighla
Support Cancer Research
Member since 5/05 16353 total posts
Name:
Lauren
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Re: IF Sensitivity
If only I had the balls to send this to everyone I know.
Great stuff!
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| Posted 4/15/06 11:33 PM |
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dm24angel
Happiness
Member since 5/05 34581 total posts
Name:
Donna
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Re: IF Sensitivity
Posted by leighla
If only I had the balls to send this to everyone I know.
Great stuff!
same here. Lately I have been dying to send an email to some group of people, just to explain, but I cant get up the courage to do so. 
ETA_ the last line got to me too. Another wonderful friend asks me EVER single time she calls "are you pregnant yet?" , as if I wouldnt scream it out from the roof if I was.
Message edited 4/15/2006 11:37:06 PM.
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| Posted 4/15/06 11:34 PM |
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boosh1002
We like hanging together!
Member since 5/05 5475 total posts
Name:
Mommy to twins
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Re: IF Sensitivity
So true!!! Thank you for posting this!!
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| Posted 4/16/06 7:29 AM |
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redstar
Delay is not denial
Member since 5/05 2220 total posts
Name:
Michelle
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Re: IF Sensitivity
Don't ask us "are you pregnant" every time we call. For goodness sake we will let you know!
This question always amazes me. I also hate "How's everything going with the fertility treatment?" Ummm I am either pregnant or not , it's not "going"...Never know how to answer that question.
Lisa, thank you very much for posting this !
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| Posted 4/16/06 9:05 AM |
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juju
Welcome to the World!
Member since 5/05 6747 total posts
Name:
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Re: IF Sensitivity
thanks for posting!
Believe, me if I start getting a lot of those statements, I might just send this email to them.
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| Posted 4/16/06 10:57 AM |
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LisaW
Time for me to FLY!
Member since 5/05 13199 total posts
Name:
Did I ever tell you that I hate people?
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Re: IF Sensitivity
Posted by LisaW
Our IF is NOT at all like the "agonizing 4 months" it took you to get pregnant. We are not being impatient we are suffering from an illness (or illnesses).
yes, I am quoting myself 
I love this one...
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| Posted 4/16/06 11:43 AM |
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Diane
Hope is Contagious....catch it
Member since 5/05 30683 total posts
Name:
D
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Re: IF Sensitivity
Posted by LisaW
Posted by LisaW
Our IF is NOT at all like the "agonizing 4 months" it took you to get pregnant. We are not being impatient we are suffering from an illness (or illnesses).
yes, I am quoting myself
I love this one...
oh boy this reminds me of a friend of mine who it took her 3 months to get PG, and she told me, "well, we had a little trouble." She was almost going to go to a RE...ARE YOU F$CKING kidding me
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| Posted 4/16/06 12:55 PM |
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Tumbalina
Better than the news!
Member since 2/06 2840 total posts
Name:
Angela
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Re: IF Sensitivity
Diane 
I hate when people complain about stuff like that. My friend went through IF so I understand well, but others have no clue!
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| Posted 4/16/06 7:10 PM |
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Sharon
So Big... So Fast!
Member since 5/05 2959 total posts
Name:
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Re: IF Sensitivity
So Well Said!
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| Posted 4/17/06 3:06 AM |
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