If you had/have a difficult sleeper PLEASE HELP me - I have some questions (long) FERBER? Another Method? What works?

My DS has always been a terrible sleeper - but, now, at 9.5mos it has b/c unbearable for DH and I AND for him...it is now I think at the point where he is very aware of what is going on around him - he knows he doesn't like the crib and if he cries enough mommy will come. Our problem is never the same two nights in a row but generally - he either wont fall asleep and stay in his crib OR he falls alseep good but 1-2 hours later wakes up and cries until i rock him - sometimes he will go back to sleep in a short time for the rest of the night - other times he continues to wake up EVERy time he hits the crirb - other times he goes down but keeps waking up.

I've read the books - I know our problems: 1. he needs to go to sleep awake (which he hardly ever does) and 2. he needs to learn to put himself back to sleep (i.e. break him of needing me to rock him etc.).

Problem being I have tried bouts of CIO and this kid will literally cry for hours. Also, once I let him CIO for more than 20min there is zero hope of getting him back to sleep in less than 2 hrs b/c he is hyper sensitive to being put back in the crib.

So now my QUESTIONS: So we are planning on doing (much much to my dismay) Dr. Ferber this week sometime. But, I have some q's - are there some kids that this just does NOt work for? Is there a certain point in the CIO that you just give up b/c it has b/c too much? A certain point during the night that they have woken up too many times that it is clear it is not working? Finally, can you suggest anything else that would work?

I want to say that I know CIO is going to torture me but, I am doing this more for DS than me. There are many nights/days where DS is lucky to be getting 6 hrs of total day/night sleep in spurts of a few hours - this is not good for him obviously. And, many nights where mommy is ending up with three hours of total sleep in hour spurts...so I need to fix this - it is not an option anymore For those of you that have read this far...THANK YOU SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MUCH


ETA: same story with naps - he never naps in his crib - if he did, there would be no nap lol. but generally he naps for an hour a day.

Message edited 6/16/2008 3:26:49 PM.

Re: If you had/have a difficult sleeper PLEASE HELP me - I have some questions (long) FERBER? Another Method? What works?

I just wanted to write that Andrew was a terrible sleeper until 6 months. He only ever averaged 7 hours of sleep total in a day. Then he got better and we had a good run of it from 6 months until around 18 months.

I didn't believe in CIO as a method for us b/c Andrew was a colicky baby and his crying was too much for me to bear. So I continued to rock him to sleep at bedtime and when he woke up during the night. It's what worked for us.

You should give your new method a try and hopefully it'll yield great results. You'll know as it happens whether it'll work.

Re: If you had/have a difficult sleeper PLEASE HELP me - I have some questions (long) FERBER? Another Method? What works?

I don't have any advice but wanted to give lots of

We have a TERRIBLE sleeper as well on our hands. She gets up at least once a night (sometimes 2, 3, or 4 times) and wil not go back to sleep unless I (NOT DH or she freaks) goes in there and calms her down. We tried CIO and Ferber and neither worked. I believe there are kids that this just doesn't work for, but that's just my opinion.

Good luck, and if you do find something that works, PLEASE let me know!

Re: If you had/have a difficult sleeper PLEASE HELP me - I have some questions (long) FERBER? Another Method? What works?

I had to rock my son for the first six months of his life- the day he turned six months I couldn't take it anymore.

We let him CIO - and honestly - at first - it was torture - screaming - hyperventilating type of scream - but that only went on for a few days. Once you get over that hump it makes such a difference. It was so much easier to just plop him in the crib then to rock him and pray that he didn't wake up on transferring him.

I cannot go in to comfort Jack when he is crying - it only makes him worse. You need to figure out what is best for you and your DC. They all react differently. Good luck!

Re: If you had/have a difficult sleeper PLEASE HELP me - I have some questions (long) FERBER? Another Method? What works?

Posted by paulandles912

I just wanted to write that Andrew was a terrible sleeper until 6 months. He only ever averaged 7 hours of sleep total in a day. Then he got better and we had a good run of it from 6 months until around 18 months.

I didn't believe in CIO as a method for us b/c Andrew was a colicky baby and his crying was too much for me to bear. So I continued to rock him to sleep at bedtime and when he woke up during the night. It's what worked for us.

You should give your new method a try and hopefully it'll yield great results. You'll know as it happens whether it'll work.

Re: If you had/have a difficult sleeper PLEASE HELP me - I have some questions (long) FERBER? Another Method? What works?

Posted by jea128

I don't have any advice but wanted to give lots of

We have a TERRIBLE sleeper as well on our hands. She gets up at least once a night (sometimes 2, 3, or 4 times) and wil not go back to sleep unless I (NOT DH or she freaks) goes in there and calms her down. We tried CIO and Ferber and neither worked. I believe there are kids that this just doesn't work for, but that's just my opinion.

Good luck, and if you do find something that works, PLEASE let me know!

Re: If you had/have a difficult sleeper PLEASE HELP me - I have some questions (long) FERBER? Another Method? What works?

Posted by Diana1215

I had to rock my son for the first six months of his life- the day he turned six months I couldn't take it anymore.

We let him CIO - and honestly - at first - it was torture - screaming - hyperventilating type of scream - but that only went on for a few days. Once you get over that hump it makes such a difference. It was so much easier to just plop him in the crib then to rock him and pray that he didn't wake up on transferring him.

I cannot go in to comfort Jack when he is crying - it only makes him worse. You need to figure out what is best for you and your DC. They all react differently. Good luck!