I'm a bad mother...

I know a lot of you will think I'm being overdramtic and I know I am but I still feel so guilty.

Molly had her 3 month check up today. She's healthy but in the 97th percentile for weight. Apparently, I have been overfeeding her. I had no idea and I feel so guilty about it. I have to cut out her 1am feeding which will cut down her daily intake by 6oz.

I know it really isn't that big of a deal but I feel guilty because if I had only tried harder to breastfeed we wouldn't have this issue. I know I did bf for 2 1/2 months and then I had some health issues that caused some hospitalization so logically, I did what I could but the emotional part of me feels so very guilty. I know I'm overreacting but I really needed to vent.

Thanks for reading this!

Re: I'm a bad mother...

you are not a bad mother at all! I didn't even know a baby could be overfed, I figured they eat if they are hungry... And I really would not worry about her weight right now, soon she will be crawling all over the place and will lose all the "baby fat".
As for BFing, you did what you could, please do not feel guilty at all! You are doing great!!

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Who told you that being in the 97th percentile was overfeeding??? My pediatrician said that you cannot overfeed a baby. They tell you when they are done. You have to worry after the child starts walking and remains in the 97th percentile. Judging from the stats I'd say you were doing you job great!!!

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YOU are a GREAT MOM!! Please do not feel guilty!!
I didn't know you could overfeed a baby yet, why is the ped so worried, Molly is so little still? She has plenty of time to burn it off when she crawls/walks.

You are doing great momma

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DS is 95% for weight and he is not considered obese (I was concerned, so I asked!). I think chubby babies are adorable :) They need to eat as much as they can at this age, they really grow so fast that in a short time. Plus soon as DS got his first cold and started teething he was NOT eating as much at all so it definitely evens out. Don't beat yourself up over it please! And as for the BF kudos to you for going as long as you did, I had to stop at 6 wks so I know how you feel. The good thing is they totally don't know the difference AT ALL.

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You are not a bad mother

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Thanks for all you responses. The ped. really isn't worried about her but doesn't want to see her go off the growth chart because babies that do, tend not to get back on. He told me it was up to me, but suggested that I stop the 1 am feeding because she really doesn't need it. So, I will try that tonight and see how it goes. I don't know how I'm going to listen to her cry knowing that all she wants is to eat and I'm not giving it to her.

Re: I'm a bad mother...

YOU SO ARE NOT A BAD MOM!!!
DO NOT EVER SAY THAT OR EVEN THINK THAT!!!

With that said....
if Molly is hungry, Molly is hungry.
There is nothing that you can do about it.
If anything - maybe see if you can wein her down a little bit on the oz that you give her at each feeding and see if she is satisfied with that.

Re: I'm a bad mother...

Posted by shamrock12472

Thanks for all you responses. The ped. really isn't worried about her but doesn't want to see her go off the growth chart because babies that do, tend not to get back on. He told me it was up to me, but suggested that I stop the 1 am feeding because she really doesn't need it. So, I will try that tonight and see how it goes. I don't know how I'm going to listen to her cry knowing that all she wants is to eat and I'm not giving it to her.

Re: I'm a bad mother...

my lil girl is also 3 months and is in the 93 percentile. my ped didn't think that was awful. I asked if i should stop the 1-2am feeding and he said no, that I should continue. Like so many said, i will worry when she is 1 yrs old and is still in that category. what i do try to do is prolong her feedings especially at nights, if she goes to sleep at 9pm, i don't wake her to feed her like i use to do, i wait til she gets up and "ask".

Message edited 11/22/2006 1:48:14 PM.

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She's fine, dont feel bad about yourself. Adjust per your pediatrician and keep going...it's not like they come with directions. That Mommy guilt can do a number on you, it's always there, waiting to pounce on your every action.

Re: I'm a bad mother...

Morgan you aren't a bad mother!!! Every doctor is different. My ped told me to feed Jiavana on demand even when giving her formula.

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You're a great mom but I understand BFing guilt completely. You did the best you could and she's healthy, that's what matters most.

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You are a WONDERFUL mom....dont let that get you down. I was also told you cant overfeed your infant

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You are not a bad mother! I would try cutting out the feeding, it's probably just habit. I did it with James. I started a few weeks ago. When he woke up in the middle of the night, I went in and soothed him without feeding him. It took a few nights, but now he doesn't expect to eat in the middle of the night. Good luck!!

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Judging from your avatar pic your DS is absolutely perfect! I wouldn't say he's overweight! Don't be so hard on yourself. He is georgous!

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Posted by shamrock12472

Thanks for all you responses. The ped. really isn't worried about her but doesn't want to see her go off the growth chart because babies that do, tend not to get back on. He told me it was up to me, but suggested that I stop the 1 am feeding because she really doesn't need it. So, I will try that tonight and see how it goes. I don't know how I'm going to listen to her cry knowing that all she wants is to eat and I'm not giving it to her.

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I know exactly how you feel! Jack weighed in at 16.4 lbs at his 2 month visit. (97%ile) My DR just said not to go over 32 oz in 24hrs and if he was still hungry to offer him water. I'm actually ontemplating starting to give cereal earlier than recommended. See the other thread on this.

But don't worry too much...You are being the best mom you can and that's all anyone can ask of you!!!

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Don't feel guilty! I started off w/ a tall, skinny boy but he definitely filled out. He has been in the 90th percentile for weight, up until his last visit...he dropped off a little. You are just feeding your little girl when she's hungry, that's fine! I was worried too that he was eating too much but he actually started eating less formula when we started cereal and fruits and leveled out a bit.

You aren't overreacting, you are just upset and you care. That's totally normal.

Re: I'm a bad mother...

Morgan, you are not a bad Mommy at all .. I'm sorry you feel that way -- I think sometimes we all do at times -- but I can promise you that you are not doing anything wrong when it comes to feeding your DD -

I was also told that you cannot overfeed a baby.. my DS is a BIG eater and has gone through a few growth spurts already where he is ravenous all day long.. and has well exceeded 32 oz a day (and he's only 6 wks old!) Quite frankly, if I were to cut out his night feeding, he would scream and cry all night until I did something to satisfy him.. he is not easily soothed. I think some babies are just like that..

I'm not sure I have any advice, since I struggle with the topic of feeding with my son as well .. but to me the important part is when you said "DD is healthy"... that is all that matters!

Hang in there, you are doing a GREAT job!

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Aww you're not a bad Mom, you're just learing! Like we all are!

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my 5 year old was off the charts from about 2months until she was almost five. She is not fat. The Doc told me as long as the height and weight are proportionate to eachother they are fine.

Message edited 11/22/2006 11:19:42 PM.

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