I'm going crazy - take a break?

Forgive all my posts - DH just got home from work and now told me what he was thinking for our "plan". He thinks to take a 2-3 month break instead of do the 4th IUI and try old fashioned BDing. Then if it doesn't happen in Feb, he'll schedule the vericeceles surgery for late March. He is really swamped at work these next 2 months and feels like he;s under a lot of pressure and going to the dr. would add to it (I pointed out HIS dr. appt is one time to deposit the little guys, as opposed to my 3-4 times!, but still he said it matters). I see his point somewhat, it may be good to take a break and its not good anyways if he's feeling all pressured, but at the same time, I'm so wound up in it all I don't know that I can just take a break - its tempting though. Any of you take a break and felt it helped/more stressful, etc.?

Re: I'm going crazy - take a break?

Dh and i took a break - not bc we wanted to - but bc it was after my mc and honestly i thought of it as a "break"
We made a deal - no discussions about babies, baby-making, RE's and drs for a month to 2 months. We had fun again. We had sex because we wanted to not because he HAD to. It was hard initially; but i do have to say after the first few days it was WONDERFUL. I felt so stress free!!!
Of course when the drs gave us the go the stress started up again LOL.

Good luck!

Re: I'm going crazy - take a break?

I think it is an excellent idea, I think it will take alot of stress off both you and DH and give you a chance to "re-group".

Re: I'm going crazy - take a break?

My opinion here...and this is just my opinion.
I didn't realize you were dealing with Varicocles and in that case, IUI's are almost completely pointless.
I would have a consult with your RE and find out what exactly your statistics would be after IUI and IVF.
Also, talk to DH's urologist and find out what the statistics are after the surgery.

Then take a few months off, but think about IVF in the interim. The problem with the varicocles surgery is that theres no guarantee of an improvement and/or scar tissue can build up and create just as much of a problem.
Usually the best way to go with varicocles is IVF, then maybe do the surgery down the road.

Re: I'm going crazy - take a break?

Posted by Gertyrae

My opinion here...and this is just my opinion.
I didn't realize you were dealing with Varicocles and in that case, IUI's are almost completely pointless.
I would have a consult with your RE and find out what exactly your statistics would be after IUI and IVF.
Also, talk to DH's urologist and find out what the statistics are after the surgery.

Then take a few months off, but think about IVF in the interim. The problem with the varicocles surgery is that theres no guarantee of an improvement and/or scar tissue can build up and create just as much of a problem.
Usually the best way to go with varicocles is IVF, then maybe do the surgery down the road.

Re: I'm going crazy - take a break?

Thanks for the posts, its so helpful. I am thinking maybe its a good idea, as hard as it will be for me, to take a break. I was starting to think - we'll still do OPKs, etc., but then that's not really a break and maybe we truly need a full break.

I'm talking to the RE this afternoon so I think that will be helpful, I know DH has vericoceles but like you said I want to know for real how his #s are and what our odds are to help make decisions. This is all so hard and I am so thankful to have this board to go to and all you amazing women.

Re: I'm going crazy - take a break?

I am with Gerty on this one as well..

Re: I'm going crazy - take a break?

Hi Sarah! My DH had varicocele but his count was ok for IUI or IVF had we needed it..we did not opt for the surgery. As you can see we didnt need it..
See what his count is, that will prob tell you whether IUI will work or not..IVF has good success rates too so dont get down!! Hang in there..i went through this battle with my endo, pcos and my DH having varicocele-he had crappy shaped sperm but one made it!
As far as a break goes, i feel your pain about not wanting too..it was forced a little for me, say a month or two because i had to have laproscopic surgery to remove my fallopian tube and the endo so it was nice and by the time i got back to it, i ended up pregnant the following cycle! It will happen, it is just a matter of when not if!

Re: I'm going crazy - take a break?

The only breaks I took during a 15 month TTC process were forced breaks because of side effects from fertility meds. My DH didn't even go to the RE's office to give specimens for IUI's. He did his business at home in a cup and I brought it to the RE's office with me for the IUI. With that said, fetility treatments are very emotionally draining so I can see why your DH may want a break. Hang in there and best of luck!

ETA: I agree with previous posters that IVF is really the way to go in your case. Also, repeated failures with IUI are going to frustrate and demoralize you.

Message edited 1/23/2009 3:05:38 PM.

Re: I'm going crazy - take a break?

Thanks everyone. Just got back from the RE - he said I could do as many as 6 IUIs w/clomid if we need to - but of course the chances go down everytime. He also advised against the surgery. He doesn't want to do injectibles b/c I am reacting well to clomid. The only thing he said was maybe add some estrogen to stregthen my lining. He said DH's #s aren't spectacular but they're not awful either, he even said if we take a break, who knows it may happen on its own, so I feel a lot better. IVF is still down the road for us at this point I think. I think I'll try a break for 1-2 months and then go back to IUIs if needed. Thanks again for all the helpful advice!