I'm having a hard day

I don't know why - I've been ok for the last few weeks, even considering all that's going on, but I woke up today just so upset about the whole situation. I'm on CD37 and AF is nowhere in sight, and I fear I'm going to have to wait another month while my RE puts me on BCP to shrink this stupid cyst.

I just feel so damn frustrated. Everyone and their mother is asking me over and over again why we don't have a second child yet, and telling me how cruel it is not to give my daughter a sibling. Just last weekend I had three people ask me why I don't have a second child, one of which decided it was her place to lecture me for an hour on how important and meaningful it is to have more than one child. Gee, thanks.

Meanwhile, everyday Alex asks me if I have a baby in my belly and tells me she wants a sister. And, in the last year, I've been the support system for 6 of my friends who have had trouble getting pregnant, all of whom are now pregnant. I'm thrilled for them, but I'm the only one left, and I feel like I'm left behind.

I told Dh this morning, I can't take another month on the Clomid - if it backfires again, I'll be so frustrated and devastated, I need some time to build myself up mentally, so next cycle, IF I HAVE ONE, I'm going back to doing back-to-back natural IUI's. He was clearly disappointed, but I can't do another month of this.

Hopefully I woke up so mopey because AF is on her way soon...

Re: I'm having a hard day

I am so sorry you're feeling down. I know it's stressful, some days more than others, but try and hang in there. Lots of for you.

Re: I'm having a hard day

I'm sorry you're having such a rough day-hang in there!!

Re: I'm having a hard day

tell those people who are badgering you about another child to stop. Say it nicely that you appreciate their input but this is not up for discussion. Don't lend yourself to the conversation and change the subject to something about them! Do it a few times and they will get the hint.

Also stop talking about it in general with people. My cousin tried for 14 months with IVF and didn't say a word to anyone. She kept it to herself and while it was hard, she only spoke to people she met who were in the same boat.

She didn't even tell me and I was disappointed, but I wouldn't have understood either but I would have supported her and helped her research things and I would have gone to her appts with her if her DH couldn't.

My point is, not everyone should know your situation and lean on the ones that understand.

We are here for you. We will never judge you.

Smile sweetly, change the subject and move on.

Hugs for you today.

Re: I'm having a hard day

I'm so sorry you are having a bad day. And I'm sorry that people feel compelled to speak out about things they know nothing about. When people ask, I just say "thanks, we're working on it". that usually shuts them up. I cannot believe you got lectured. I woke in a crabby mood so I am wanting to be mad at someone, so I'll be mad at them.

Did you not want to try injectibles? I hated clomid. I guess I've been aggressive about this whole IF thing (probably my whole problem to begin with, want it yesterday). But, honestly I got cysts with injectibles but not with clomid. I guess you need to go with what you feel in your gut.

I just finished 'Inconceivable' last night. I never realized the stress related to 2nd IF. Now i'm wondering what else I need to change about my eating and exercising.

Anyway hang in there. It will happen. Just gotta keep going. Hopefully, it's the AF hormones. I know that happens to me right before.

Re: I'm having a hard day

Thanks everyone

I really DO hope this is just AF horomones, because I literally cried at my desk for 20 minutes. Not like me at all...

I know I bring it on myself because when people probe, I use my DD as an excuse. My canned response when people ask why we're not pregnant is that my DD is so "spirited" that we were a little gun-shy and needed some time to feel ready again.

I know no one means harm and no one intends to hurt me when they ask, but it's just happening SO much lately. I'm assaulted by it almost everday.

The woman who lectured me, she's my cousin, from Israel and I think she learned her lesson because I think my mom said something to her later when I left, after hearing the lecture, and knowing what I've been through physically up to this point.

The next day when I saw my cousin, instead of harassing me, she was extra nice, and started saying to me she hopes that we have twins. So, obviously my mom revealed a little more than I would have liked.

I'm just in a people s!ck kind of mood today. I'll let myself revel in it for a day and will hopefully snap out of it by tomorrow!

Re: I'm having a hard day

I don't know how you feel about sharing your issues with others but I would come right out and tell those people who are calling you "cruel" just how cruel they are being!!!

Re: I'm having a hard day

I'm so sorry. I'm going through the same thing with the questions and comments and it hurts, a lot.

I'm just dreading the day when my son asks me for a little brother or sister.