I'm on a behavior kick this week...How does your 3 year old behave during play dates or parties?

Is your child shy to themselves, outgoing and well behaved all around or a bit aggressive/bossy towards the other kids?

My guy (3 years) I have to say is a combination of all but mostly a bit aggressive with play so I'm always keeping an extra watchful eye on him in case he goes to far with other kids. He also is very directive telling kids to do this or that. When I tell him to say hello to adults he can act a bit shy and try to hide. But when it comes with playing with kids he'll try to find the oldest kid there and play rough. He doesn't like to leave either when it's time to go so that's a bit of a struggle. He can cause a bit of a scene.

I'd like to know how other kids are behaving this age because at 3 I believe the reasoning starts but they still don't fully understand or it quicly goes in one ear and out the other as far as telling them to play nice or we have to go. Anyone agree or disagree about the reasoning part at that age? I'm hoping by 4 he'll listen the first time. Is that just ridiculous to say you think?

- just want to add in school he's an angel, well liked by other students and teachers and gets such positve status reports and I'm being told he always says thank you and please. I feel like at home he tries to be more of a devil and it starts when he walks in the house and tosses his jacket over furniture and gloves in the air. I do make him get them after I threaten to take his toys away. This all started at the age of 3.

Message edited 12/20/2010 8:53:39 AM.

Re: I'm on a behavior kick this week...How does your 3 year old behave during play dates or parties?

Well, I agree it is common...but all the same I absolutely hate it.

My 3 year old wasn't into rough play at all. He doesn't understand why someone can't just sit there and built a train track with him...play a game with him.

One of his friend's mothers actually gave josh a "safe word" to use when her kid is being too rough with him.
here is my safe word...BYE.

I feel if your 3 year old is going to act like that, then you must remain in the same room on top of him. For some reason they think it is okay...it isn't. Not unless both kids are completely into it. But if one isn't, it is not fun, at all.

but, like i said, it is common, i see it all the time.

Re: I'm on a behavior kick this week...How does your 3 year old behave during play dates or parties?

You just described my DS to a tee. He can be the more agressive one. But I find he plays differently with different kids. I know which kids I can give him more free rein and I know which playdates need a closer watch.

Re: I'm on a behavior kick this week...How does your 3 year old behave during play dates or parties?

DD is pretty good-slow to warm up when we are at a party but usually finds a friend to pal around with pretty quickly and then they are off holding hands the rest of the time.

At play dates she is usually pretty good too-gets a little wild but not usually aggressive, just hyper.

Re: I'm on a behavior kick this week...How does your 3 year old behave during play dates or parties?

Re: I'm on a behavior kick this week...How does your 3 year old behave during play dates or parties?

Re: I'm on a behavior kick this week...How does your 3 year old behave during play dates or parties?

Posted by CrankyPants

Posted by Janice


One of his friend's mothers actually gave josh a "safe word" to use when her kid is being too rough with him.
here is my safe word...BYE.

a "safe" word? ???

Was there a gimp at this play date?

Geez lady, the "safe word" is "knock it off"!!!

Re: I'm on a behavior kick this week...How does your 3 year old behave during play dates or parties?

At first my DS is shy and sort of plays on his own with either his toys or the child's toys (if the playdate is at another child's house) but, within 30 min or so he plays really nicely with the other child. Every once in a while he won't want to share or will be a little bossy with what he wants them to do together butt, for the most part he plays very nicely. I have never seen him be really aggressive. Once or twice I saw him try to push someone out of the way or their hand out of the way when he said he wanted to go first (he is pretty verbal and bigger for his age so he usually wins LOL) - but, I've told him not to do this and he has since stopped.

The worst I have seen on playdates is just not wanting to share - same at school - I've never observed kids to be very aggressive. We hae one friend though that has another friend we have not had any playdates with and she tells me horror stories of how aggressive this child is towards her son and others and, she says the mother doesn't address it at all and really it makes her not want her son to play with the child - so I guess even at this age there is a fine line.

ETA: As for the adults - it depends how well he knows the parent. If it is someone he knows well he tends to actually be more talkative and social with the parent than the child But, for those he doesn't, it's the same story as with the kids.

Message edited 12/20/2010 5:43:10 PM.

Re: I'm on a behavior kick this week...How does your 3 year old behave during play dates or parties?

Posted by CrankyPants

Posted by Janice


One of his friend's mothers actually gave josh a "safe word" to use when her kid is being too rough with him.
here is my safe word...BYE.

a "safe" word? ???

Was there a gimp at this play date?

Geez lady, the "safe word" is "knock it off"!!!

Re: I'm on a behavior kick this week...How does your 3 year old behave during play dates or parties?

Posted by Janice

Posted by CrankyPants

Posted by Janice


One of his friend's mothers actually gave josh a "safe word" to use when her kid is being too rough with him.
here is my safe word...BYE.

a "safe" word? ???

Was there a gimp at this play date?

Geez lady, the "safe word" is "knock it off"!!!

ummm..yeah.
the one that you had to walk away from me because you know all the history.