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luvsun27
Check out my cool glasses
Member since 5/05 8135 total posts
Name:
Kim
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I'm so angry and upset with DH, I don't know what to do....
I'm so upset....he did something that I am so upset with, and he thinks he did nothing wrong. He doesn't like to take his car out in bad weather, so this morning, since we had a little snow, he drove me to work...no big deal, he's done it before. We, we all get in the car and he drops me off and comes home. It's only about 10 minutes away. So..he comes to pick me up at 5, but I didn't get out til 5:15 and I get to the car, and he is alone....he left our 10 year old at home to babysit our 4 month old  OMG....I start yelling and going hysterical, how could he think it's ok to leave them home alone? Between the time he left until we got home it was almost 1 hour. Something could have happened.....an accident, something. Thankfully....when we got home, the baby was sleeping and the 10 year old was doing her homework. But....what the heck is he thinking 
We have been aruging for the last 3 hours and now he is downstairs in the basement sleeping on the couch. I'm afraid to go to work tomorrow because the weather is supposed to be the same as today and he wants to take my truck. He has already told me that he doesn't think there is anything wrong with leaving the kids at home for the short amount of time, and he will do it again.
He's a SAHD and I go to work...and now I'm worried about what else goes on here while I'm gone all day. OMG....I know this is long, but I am so upset, I don't know what to do. It's like in one instant, I don't trust him with the kids....and I'm scared.
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Posted 1/25/07 9:02 PM  |
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beachgirl
LIF Adult
Member since 7/05 7967 total posts
Name:
sara
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Re: I'm so angry and upset with DH, I don't know what to do....
 you poor thing.I would have flipped out too. A 10 year old is too young to stay home with a baby...I dont think the 10 year old should be left home alone for an hour at all...with or without a baby - maybe I am wrong about this.
Maybe tomorrow when you both have time to think things through he will realise the error of his ways.
Hope you get things sorted
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| Posted 1/25/07 9:05 PM |
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luvsun27
Check out my cool glasses
Member since 5/05 8135 total posts
Name:
Kim
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Re: I'm so angry and upset with DH, I don't know what to do....
I agree....I don't think the 10 year old should have been left alone either....let alone to watch the baby. I certainly don't mind when he asks her to watch the baby while he is downstairs on the computer...while he's home...but not to leave them alone. OMG
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| Posted 1/25/07 9:07 PM |
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Moehick
Ready for the sun!
Member since 5/05 30339 total posts
Name:
Properly perfect™
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Re: I'm so angry and upset with DH, I don't know what to do....
I don't know...is your daughter responsible? Do you feel your DH would intentionally put the children in harms way? I started babysitting at 11...but I watched a one year old...does that make a difference? I don't know
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| Posted 1/25/07 9:10 PM |
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luvsun27
Check out my cool glasses
Member since 5/05 8135 total posts
Name:
Kim
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Re: I'm so angry and upset with DH, I don't know what to do....
Posted by Moehick
I don't know...is your daughter responsible? Do you feel your DH would intentionally put the children in harms way? I started babysitting at 11...but I watched a one year old...does that make a difference? I don't know
The 10 year old can be responsible when she wants to be...but she's 10...that changes on a daily basis  I don't think DH would intentionally put the children in harms way....but that's why they are called accidents....they just happen...who knows what could have happened.
The tough part is that he said he wouldn't hesitate to do it agian...and he thinks there is nothing wrong with what he did
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| Posted 1/25/07 9:12 PM |
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monkeybride
My Everything
Member since 5/05 20541 total posts
Name:
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Re: I'm so angry and upset with DH, I don't know what to do....
Isn't it illegal? 
Maybe that's only here in CO though. Here you can be arrested for neglect if you leave a child under 12 home alone.
I would have flipped my lid too, you have every right to be furious.
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| Posted 1/25/07 9:56 PM |
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Janice
Sweet Jessie Quinn
Member since 5/05 27567 total posts
Name:
Janice
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Re: I'm so angry and upset with DH, I don't know what to do....
I understand you being upset...I would want to be made aware of who is watchung my baby before hand....
but at 10, I was watching one of my mother's babies as she ran errands..its a great thing to have her sister in the house.
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| Posted 1/25/07 10:01 PM |
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pharmcat2000
Mom of 2 + 1
Member since 10/05 7395 total posts
Name:
Catherine
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Re: I'm so angry and upset with DH, I don't know what to do....
I can understand you being upset, but he probably just figured to himself "it's only 10 minutes each way and we'll be RIGHT back" not realizing the time spent sitting waiting for you. I guess it's not that big of a deal to leave the 10 year old with the baby for 20 minutes -- they can certainly keep each other company for that short amount of time, but for almost an hour I think is way too long. I too was babysitting at 11 for little babies.
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| Posted 1/26/07 4:52 AM |
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BaroqueMama
Chase is one!
Member since 5/05 27530 total posts
Name:
me
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Re: I'm so angry and upset with DH, I don't know what to do....
I think that your DH probably thought he was doing the best he could at the moment, and even though he's telling you he'd do it again, I'm sure that somewhere in that brain of his, he's thinking, "Oh sh-t!" JT does this all the time to me. Tells me something's no big deal when I freak out about something like that, but he usually learns and never does whatever it was again.
I think that at 10, she definitely could watch the baby for a little while, but it doesn't matter what I think, it matters what YOU think. If you are not comfortable with it, then that's that.
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| Posted 1/26/07 5:47 AM |
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luvsun27
Check out my cool glasses
Member since 5/05 8135 total posts
Name:
Kim
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Re: I'm so angry and upset with DH, I don't know what to do....
Well....he slept on the couch and I slept in our bed. Neither one of us slept much at all. And...this morning, he still sticks to his theory of he would do this again.
Now, I have to try to put myself together and go to work and I don't want to leave the house.
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| Posted 1/26/07 5:53 AM |
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BaroqueMama
Chase is one!
Member since 5/05 27530 total posts
Name:
me
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Re: I'm so angry and upset with DH, I don't know what to do....
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| Posted 1/26/07 6:03 AM |
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dld4e
I ♥ my boys!
Member since 5/05 4461 total posts
Name:
DJ
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Re: I'm so angry and upset with DH, I don't know what to do....
I do feel for you. I also think that it's a bad idea. After all a 10 year is still a child. Anything can happen in an instant. Would a child be able to handle a stressful situation while taking care of a baby?!!
Perhaps someone else can speak with him about it, maybe coming from a different person...he might actually listen.
Many to you!
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| Posted 1/26/07 6:55 AM |
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GoldenRod
10 years on LIF!
Member since 11/06 26792 total posts
Name:
Shawn
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Re: I'm so angry and upset with DH, I don't know what to do....
From: http://www.wnbc.com/family/2268865/detail.html
It is important to remember that the decision to leave children unattended may be subject to state law. Area child protection services can provide information on state child abuse and neglect laws that address the age children can legally be left home alone. Minimum age requirements for unattended children generally range from 12 to 13 years of age. The National SAFE KIDS Campaign recommends that children are not left alone before the age of 12.
From: http://www.wsjclassroomedition.com/archive/02dec/latchkey.htm
Age limits on so-called self-care are cloudy. State laws don't specify ages at which a child can legally be left home alone. Most child-protection workers look to regulatory policies that provide guidance, but few firm rules, about what constitutes child neglect. Some child-protection agencies say children eight or nine years old can be left alone for up to two hours under certain conditions. Others say kids need supervision until they're 10 to 12 years of age.
From: http://www.nypost.com/seven/09282006/realestate/leaving_junior_home_alone_realestate_jane_reilly_mount.htm
New York State, like most states, doesn't have an age minimum at which children may legally be left alone. However, consensus suggests that 12 is the minimum age to consider it, depending on the maturity of the kid. Keep in mind that the absence of specifics in the law doesn't mean there's no law, and issues of neglect of a minor child are handled on a case-by-case basis.
So, it doesn't appear to be illegal, just not a good idea. I personally think 10 is much too young to be left alone, even for an hour. It only takes a few minutes to put them in the car, and then nobody has to worry.
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| Posted 1/26/07 9:46 AM |
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wowcoulditbe
wow, pic is already 1 yr old!!
Member since 1/06 6689 total posts
Name:
D
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Re: I'm so angry and upset with DH, I don't know what to do....
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| Posted 1/26/07 2:08 PM |
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Disneygirl
Disney cruise bound!
Member since 5/05 8126 total posts
Name:
D
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Re: I'm so angry and upset with DH, I don't know what to do....
Posted by prncssrachel
I think that your DH probably thought he was doing the best he could at the moment, and even though he's telling you he'd do it again, I'm sure that somewhere in that brain of his, he's thinking, "Oh sh-t!" JT does this all the time to me. Tells me something's no big deal when I freak out about something like that, but he usually learns and never does whatever it was again.
.
My DH is the same way he'll keep standing his ground because he doesn't want to admit he's wrong but he'll never do it again either.
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| Posted 1/26/07 2:27 PM |
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Little-J-Mommy
I'm a Big Brother
Member since 5/06 8041 total posts
Name:
D
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Re: I'm so angry and upset with DH, I don't know what to do....
1st
I think you're right. Even if you were comfortable with it, there definitely should've been a discussion about it 1st so it wouldn't have been such a shock.
Honestly, if it's going to be an issue, he can use his own car, not go out until you get home, or trade his car for one that works in the snow.
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| Posted 1/26/07 3:23 PM |
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sweetp
LIF Infant
Member since 7/06 304 total posts
Name:
ghfgfgh
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Re: I'm so angry and upset with DH, I don't know what to do....
I totally agree with you about leaving the ten year old with the 4 month old. But I do leave my ten year---almost eleven year ols home sometime if I need to run to the store fast. She is very mature otherwise I would never do it. I guess it just depends on the maturity level of the child.
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| Posted 1/26/07 8:43 PM |
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05mommy09
Family of 5!
Member since 5/05 15364 total posts
Name:
<3 Mommy <3
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Re: I'm so angry and upset with DH, I don't know what to do....
Posted by monkeybride
Isn't it illegal?
Maybe that's only here in CO though. Here you can be arrested for neglect if you leave a child under 12 home alone.
I would have flipped my lid too, you have every right to be furious.
Im pretty sure its illegal to leave anyone under the age of 14 home alone....
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| Posted 1/26/07 9:00 PM |
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luvsun27
Check out my cool glasses
Member since 5/05 8135 total posts
Name:
Kim
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Re: I'm so angry and upset with DH, I don't know what to do....
Well...he's agreed not to do it again. He says I should be happy...I won the war...but I don't feel like I won much of anything
Thanks everyone
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| Posted 1/26/07 9:18 PM |
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JTK
my 4 boys!
Member since 6/06 7396 total posts
Name:
Kristi
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Re: I'm so angry and upset with DH, I don't know what to do....
maybe i'm a little narotic but i wouldn't even leave my 15 almost 16 year old to watch the baby for an hour!
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| Posted 1/26/07 9:22 PM |
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mommy2bella
Where does time go?
Member since 12/05 9747 total posts
Name:
Kelly
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Re: I'm so angry and upset with DH, I don't know what to do....
I am sorry that you are going through this. I agree with why you are soooo angry. I can see moving on if he apologized and said he was wrong, but the fact that he still thinks he did NOTHING wrong!
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| Posted 1/26/07 9:41 PM |
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MelToddJulia
Love my Family!
Member since 7/05 29064 total posts
Name:
Mel
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Re: I'm so angry and upset with DH, I don't know what to do....
Wow! I would be so pi$$ed too! A 10 year old is to young to be watching a 4 month old. I would be nervous now too! Sorry you have to go through this.
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| Posted 1/26/07 9:46 PM |
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michele31
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 3372 total posts
Name:
Michele
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Re: I'm so angry and upset with DH, I don't know what to do....
you are 110% right. 10 is too young to be able to act responsibliy in an emergency. GOD forbid there was a fire or the 10 year old got hurt or the baby. Your husband was irresponsiible IMO.
I don't think he needs to sleep downstairs but if he can't see why what he did was not a good idea. He should just understand that,
HUGS.
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| Posted 1/26/07 10:06 PM |
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