I'm watching a show right now where the parents let the children decide everything...

It's the show "Motherhood" on TLC. I don't really get this parenting method.

I understand letting children become independent thinkers...however...8 choices for breakfast? Letting them choose whatever they want to wear everyday?

They have 4 daughters..they even take the 6 month old to her closet and whatever she "touches" is what she wears for the day.

Weird! I would go NUTS! The mother seems strung out, on the verge of a breakdown. Yet her and her husband decided this was a great method for them b/c they didn't like how they were raised (being told to clean their plate, given no choice for dinner).

In my family we didn't have many choices and it was fine. We got over it. If i didn't want fish for dinner, TOO BAD, lol..

Any thoughts? Just curious!


***oops...never logged out of my alternate ego, lol. Obviously i'm a frequent posting mom...

Message edited 1/10/2008 12:10:03 PM.

Re: I'm watching a show right now where the parents let the children decide everything...

There is nothing wrong with giving your kids choices like letting them pick out their own clothes to wear (as long as it's reasonable and it's ok to wear for the current season)

But letting a 6 month old pick out their own outfit... That's weird.

As for the breakfast, lunch and dinner situation I think giving them 8 choices is ridiculous! Maybe 2 choices at most but 8??? They might as well take them car shopping now while they're at it and let the kids pick out the car for Mommy and Daddy to buy...

Re: I'm watching a show right now where the parents let the children decide everything...

I'm all for letting children have options but you have to draw the line somewhere. And as far as letting a 6mth old wear whatever they touch?

Re: I'm watching a show right now where the parents let the children decide everything...

That sounds like attachment parenting (at least I think that is what it is called). I definitly don't agree with it but I guess if it works for their family.

ETA: I don't agree with giving a child that many choices, 2 I think a good amount. It gives a sence of independence and it makes them feel good too.

Message edited 1/10/2008 1:26:27 PM.

Re: I'm watching a show right now where the parents let the children decide everything...

If it works for them, great!

I don't plan on offering a choice at every opportunity. I think children crave guidance and discipline, they need boundaries and, to a degree, structure. They should know what to expect, what is expected of them, and feel safe and secure and that Mom and Dad will make most of the choices. That doesn't mean they are robbed of a creative environment where reading, imagination, playtime, etc are absent. If they want to choose ballet over gymnastics, or karate over softball, I get that kind of stuff. If they pick what to wear at a proper age (6 months??) I get that. But I think it just means they eat vegetables when asked to, wear proper clothes for the weather, go to bed when asked to, etc. I don't see how it can be choice after choice (with 8 or 9 choices) all day long IMO.

Message edited 1/10/2008 1:23:14 PM.

Re: I'm watching a show right now where the parents let the children decide everything...

8 choices for breakfast? Is she running a diner? I'd lose my mind.

Re: I'm watching a show right now where the parents let the children decide everything...

We usually go with the parenting style where you give DC choices, so they feel like they have input into what goes on, but as a parent, the 2 or 3 choices they get are all equally OK with us, so we really don't care which they choose.

For lunch, DS usually gets choices like "Soup, grilled cheese, or spaghetti in a can". Any choice is about the same amount of work, but he gets to "decide".

I usually say "Whatever works for your family is fine.", but from your synopsis, it sounds like it doesn't work for the mother. That's the biggest problem I have with that method.

Re: I'm watching a show right now where the parents let the children decide everything...

I offer my 4 y/o two choices for breakfast and usually lunch. However dinner is what ever we are all eating. For pre-k I choose his clothes. For YMCA classes I let him choose his play clothes.
I find that offering a choice whenever possible really makes things go smoother. "Would you like A or B?" He feels like he has some control I think.

Re: I'm watching a show right now where the parents let the children decide everything...

Posted by Disneygirl

I'm all for letting children have options but you have to draw the line somewhere. And as far as letting a 6mth old wear whatever they touch?

Re: I'm watching a show right now where the parents let the children decide everything...

I am all for choices but not 8. I usually give my children 2 choices and if they don't want either of them then they get nothing. As for picking out their clothes if it's making it less stressful then hey why not. My sisters girls are very picky and she was having horrible mornings trying to get them to wear certain things. Now at night she lets them all pick what they want to wear and she makes sure it's appropriate. My son is 10 and still doesn't pick out his own clothes and I feel he should be at this point. As another poster said I agree to choices but you have to draw a line some where. And a 6mo old picking out their own clothes

Re: I'm watching a show right now where the parents let the children decide everything...

M3 yr old gets to choose his own clothes as long as he dresses himself...sometimes he looks ridiculous. For breakfast he usually has several choices, eggs, waffles. After that it is what it is. We eat dinner as a family so he better eat what is served.

Iguess if it works for them.