I'm worried about not wanting to share my baby.

Deep down inside, I'm sure it's a normal feeling along the stages of pregnancy... like the holy cr@p am I ready to have a baby. That passed and I hope this will too.

Last night, DH told me that his OOS sister bought plane tickets for a week or two after my due date. Trust me, I'm honored and excited but it just hit me that people are going to want to touch and hold my baby, maybe even not in my presence!

Did you have a hard time overcoming the surprise visits and the pass the baby bit? Did you welcome the love or set boundaries in the beginning?

I sometimes feel like I want to lock down the house with just me, DH and our new little baby and just be US for little while.

Re: I'm worried about not wanting to share my baby.

It's normal... At some point, you'll be GIVING your DC to other people just to get a minute's peace... (That may not happen until they hit their "terrible twos", but it will happen at some point... )

Re: I'm worried about not wanting to share my baby.

DH always pointed out to me that I never gave the baby up unless someone asked. I figured- most people won't ask and then I won't have to pass her off. That lasted about 2 months. I think it's somewhat normal. Don't worry-you'll know what do in the situation and I am sure if it is an adult family member you won't mind as much as you think you will.

Re: I'm worried about not wanting to share my baby.

I was worried about people holding the baby but only because I was scared of someone getting DS sick. Being a mom is hard work, and if someone wants to take him from me for a little bit its fine with me. I will take any break I can get.

I'm still very careful about children around the baby. I don't let my neices hold him yet.

Message edited 3/29/2009 4:19:50 PM.

Re: I'm worried about not wanting to share my baby.

i was never worried...

Re: I'm worried about not wanting to share my baby.

I say just relax and enjoy the rest of your pregnancy and try to avoid this kind of anxiety, as speculation is exhausting! You might feel completely differently once that baby is actually here, you might feel like that for a few days, and after a few days, you might be offering people MONEY to hold that child for a little while. I know I was exactly like that. Don't forget, other people in your family are excited also, try not to alienate them too much, just enjoy everyones excitement for you and your husband!

Re: I'm worried about not wanting to share my baby.

I was so exhausted that I was excited when people came over and I could get a break to do things around the house. I loved that people wanted to see my baby! I know how I am when family has a baby - and I'm glad they felt the same way.

Re: I'm worried about not wanting to share my baby.

Good for you for thinking about this before hand! I didn't even consider it til family started to visit and asked to hold DD. I was like ummm no? Lol.I had no idea I would be overprotective of her. Now a days I'm fine with it, you will get over your feelings too, just give it time, your feelings are very normal.

Re: I'm worried about not wanting to share my baby.

I felt the EXACT SAME WAY when I was PG!!!! THen I had the baby and I was sooo exhausted and CONSTALTLY had her in my arms that I NEEDED someone else to hold her. I would go take a nice long shower, or eat without having to hold her, or geeez go to teh BATHROOOM without her in my arms.

After 30 min or so I was ready to have her back.....

DOn't worry about it, enjoy your pregnancy and just try and go with the flow once you have her.

This being said, she is 6 weeks now and the only other people that have held her are her grandparents on both sides and my sister (DH is an only child)

I'm not ready for "friends" to hold her yet!

Re: I'm worried about not wanting to share my baby.

I think new parents have every right to not want long visits, unexpected visits, etc. I also think it's quite normal to feel protective of your new DC and not feel ready for others to hold, touch, etc, your new baby. I felt that way and still do to some extent!

As for visits, I set boundaries from day one and whether people liked it or not, I had to do what's best for me b/c I am the mom and I was the one who had the surgery, was pg, etc.

Message edited 3/29/2009 5:50:27 PM.

Re: I'm worried about not wanting to share my baby.

Re: I'm worried about not wanting to share my baby.

I wanted NO ONE visiting for the first few weeks. I was a new Mom, not feeling 100% myself yet after my C/S and Didn't want to shower or entertain anyone.

The only people allowed over were my Mother, MIL and sister and my sister didnt stay long.

I didnt want my Mother and MIL holding the baby too...I think this was hormones, I got over that.

Basically what your feeling now is 100% normal and like Some others have said, it may not happen when the baby is here, you might feel different....or you might feel like I did .

i just told everyone to give us till DH went back to work to be a family and be to adjust and then visits would be more then welcome once I got to know my baby.

Message edited 3/29/2009 6:26:17 PM.

Re: I'm worried about not wanting to share my baby.

toward the end I felt like this too, I felt like right now he is all MINE but in a few weeks he will be everyone's!! the unannoucned visits were the most annoying thing I've dealt with. Nerve of some people just showing up. my inlaws mainly. WE had visitors every day for 2 months (literally every single day mon-sunday) I really got tired of it.

Re: I'm worried about not wanting to share my baby.

I felt the exact same way and still do to this day and he is 3.5-lol. I didnt want anyone else to hold him and I felt lost without him in my arms I was always super attached to him and still am. Im no help but Im letting you know I was the same way. He turned out to be a super kid and gets along wonderfully with everyone anyway.

Re: I'm worried about not wanting to share my baby.

I was only worried about germs, so I limited the people allowed to hold my babies to their aunts and uncles and cousins and grandparents. That was actually quite a few people. I made every one wash up first. I did not allow great aunts and others to hold the baby until after 8 wks old.

Re: I'm worried about not wanting to share my baby.

I layed down the law...me, DH and DD for a good while. Im not good with suprise visitors on a normal day, I feel like I have to entertain...
DH kept the wolves away for a while.

Re: I'm worried about not wanting to share my baby.

I felt like that but i think it had a lot to do with the fact that when they brought me my DD for the first time (i didnt get to hold her right after she was born because i was so exhausted from being up for over 24 hours plus the pushing, i couldnt keep my eyes open) my mom jumped up and grabbed the baby, then passed her off to my brother, THEN i got to hold MY baby. so that whole experience made me never wanna give her up. but by month 3 or 4 i was like TAKE HER!

Re: I'm worried about not wanting to share my baby.

Posted by GoldenRod

It's normal... At some point, you'll be GIVING your DC to other people just to get a minute's peace... (That may not happen until they hit their "terrible twos", but it will happen at some point... )

Re: I'm worried about not wanting to share my baby.

DS wanted to be held 24/7. I was happy to let others hold him so I could have a break.

Re: I'm worried about not wanting to share my baby.

You are feeling normal ~ I was the same way ~ my DS is 7 months and I sometimes want to keep him all to myself!!!

Re: I'm worried about not wanting to share my baby.

Thanks everyone for your responses and sharing your stories!

I actually had lunch today with my mom, after adding to my registery together and we discussed this very topic.

I think I'll be okay. I'm not worried at all about my family. They are after all who taught me how to be the mom I plan to be and will continue to mentor me for the rest of my life (being the youngest). They can take my baby on a road trip across country and I'd be fine. Anyone else is my worry, now. But like most of you said, it's a normal feeling now and once the baby is here it will all be fine. One can hope!

Thanks again!