Infertility and Social/Personal Life- Advice needed

Do you feel like it takes a toll???

I feel like wether it's a tough day b/c of a BFN, or maybe the medicines is making you sick, or bloated one day b/c of the progesterone, headaches, Early morning appts, etc...Whatever one may deal with at the time.

Do you say NO to friend and family that you can't make things and put yourself first???


I am that type of person that never says "no" to anyone and runs all over the place for friends/family. I want to just say "no" Sometimes or cancel b.c it's a tough day. I feel like I always run for everyone else and during this struggle I should put myself FIRST and my Health- BUT I DONT.

Example. Today I have a headache but still running to help a friend look for bridesmaid dress with a bunch of girls tonight. I have had a tough week, with 3 early morning appts, my HCG trigger, and starting with the Lovenox. I feel bloated, tired and have a headache. I wanted to cancel but I didn't...... WOULD IT be OK TO CANCEL?

I feel like I should be putting myself first and I'm not.

This week alone I had 3 early morning appts, Drive an Hour for passover on Tues, An hour yesterday to see a friend who was in town from Out of State, Tonight Bridesmaid dress shopping, and this weekend driving almost 2 hrs to PA. UGHHH- I think I need to start saying NO for me and my Sanity. And so I can be stress free for TTC.

Guess I just needed to vent and looking for advice on how your girls handle everything while dealing with everything that goes along with Infertility???

Re: Infertility and Social/Personal Life- Advice needed

You need to cut yourself some slack.

Are you in the bridal party?

I would decline..tell them you don't feel well. (you don't) and don't look back.

Send your regrets with a make up date.

We have to take care of ourselves. I'm just like you and I bailed on a few events because I just needed time for me.

I think it really helped me stay level.

Re: Infertility and Social/Personal Life- Advice needed

Posted by Blu-ize

You need to cut yourself some slack.

Are you in the bridal party?

I would decline..tell them you don't feel well. (you don't) and don't look back.

Send your regrets with a make up date.

We have to take care of ourselves. I'm just like you and I bailed on a few events because I just needed time for me.

I think it really helped me stay level.

Re: Infertility and Social/Personal Life- Advice needed

I agree also.. I feel like all the help others out during my 2ww during ivf left me crazy and caused it not to work.
So i would tell them... you are tired and some of the meds your doc has you on is leaving you extra tired and its not being rude...

if it helps.. dont think of it as putting you first... think of it as putting your child first.. and that is what every good parent does.

so you're not being selfish, its not for you.. its for the little one...

hope this helps

Re: Infertility and Social/Personal Life- Advice needed

Sweetie- it is absolutely ok to say NO. You sound like a great friend to have who is always available. But it is ok to take some time for you to rest. We do all this stuff to our bodies and we feel bad and cranky. I say to politely tell them you really dont feel well and take a long bath and maybe a small glass of wine (if you drink). Running all around will catch up to you.

Re: Infertility and Social/Personal Life- Advice needed

You sound like a very kind and thoughtful person - always putting everybody's needs above yours and always going out of your way to please everyone... And it's great to be this way, don't loose this trait because you are becoming an exctinct species and the world needs caring people like you But try to remember that there is someone else in this world that needs to be cared for....and that person is you Don't push yourself, know your limits - you can only do so much. That little baby is not going to come along if you're exhausted all the time. Listen to your body - you should be doing everything in moderation Don't only be sweet to others but to yourself also
Lots of

& to you!

Re: Infertility and Social/Personal Life- Advice needed

Thank you so much everyone!!! You are all right. I need to start putting myself first and my future baby!

Thank you for all the kind words!

Oh, And I did go bridesmaid shopping, I just got home. : (

This will be the last time. From now on I am learning to say "no" when it's necessary.

Re: Infertility and Social/Personal Life- Advice needed

Its hard to say no, when you are used to saying yes everytime. Just realize you will probably feel bad in the beginning saying no, but in time you will get better at it (really ).


Though try not to go the other way and stop saying yes to everything. You still need to get out there and have fun. IF can really rob your life (I know), now I am making a point to go and do things.

Best of luck this cycle.