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Interview with Jes From Rock of Love
After 11 weeks and innumerable hangovers, Bret has finally found his rock of love in Jes. Good girls rule!
After the jump, Jes talks about her attraction to Bret, what it’s like to date a man who’s more than 20 years her senior, letting her guard down and what it was like to be one of the few sane people in a house full of crazies.
Congratulations.
Thanks!
How did it feel to win?
It was a good feeling, definitely. It was weird, though, because after I won, pretty much everything stopped. The excitement was over and I was left wondering, “What do I do now?” It was a great feeling to win, but at the same time there was a sense of confusion.
From the beginning, you announced that you had no expectations when it came to Bret and the show. But you must have had something in your head. I mean, you were going on a dating show.
For the first two weeks, I was in the background. I didn’t get involved and I was just kind of reading Bret and seeing what he does. You get to know him, you see he’s a cool guy…it starts to become like a friendship. And that’s really how all relationships are: you have a weird, awkward stage, you become friends and then you start to open up and then you start to get to know a lot about each other and then come the feelings. I don’t know if it’s love.
Bret took your tears during your final dinner with him as a sign of you letting your guard down. Was he correct?
Everyone has a guard. A lot of people know that they’re guarded, but they don’t know why or what it’s for. I finally did and that was an emotional thing for me.
Is it because you were cheated on?
It was that, yes. And in relationships, I’m always afraid to say how I feel because of the fear of rejection. That was a huge thing for me from the beginning. Winning the show felt good because I didn’t get rejected, but it didn’t matter at that point anyway. I learned that I would have been OK with being rejected. I learned a lot about myself on the show.
What attracted you to Bret?
I think he’s a good-looking guy. I definitely do. I think he has a great smile, and who doesn’t love blue eyes? A lot of his physical characteristics are very attractive. And it’s all especially because for a 45-year-old guy, he’s a good-looking guy.
You were 4-years-old when “Every Rose Has Its Thorn” was released. That’s…mind-blowing.
Yeah. And it’s kinda weird that Bret is five years younger than my father. But at least, now I can say, “I made out with a guy that’s 45 years old.”
Do you usually go for older guys?
The oldest guy I’ve dated was 30. I’ve never dated anyone this old. (Laughs) But I do find myself getting along with and being attracted to older guys. More in common.
Heather put in some jabs during the finale about your age and whether or not you were ready for kids. Was that really ever presented as a possibility? Does Bret want more kids?
If he does, he hasn’t told me. He talked about his daughters and my stance was always, “Whoever you end up choosing, they shouldn’t have to be your girls’ mom. They already have a mom. But the winner should be ready to be an adult figure in their life, so that if they have a problem, they can go to that person.”
What’s interesting about your win is that it was effectively a win for the nice girls versus the more…salacious girls.
I stuck to my morals from day one. I refused to portray myself in that manner. I’m not going to sit there and show affection to a man who’s showing affection to 20 other women. I wouldn’t do that in front of chicks to make them jealous. I don’t play that game in my life and I refuse to play that game on TV.
But you had anticipated that sort of thing, right? I mean, you aren’t living under a rock. You know what happens on shows like this.
To a certain extent, but I was really naïve. When I auditioned I figured, “Oh, this will be fun. There will probably be drama, but no big deal.” I didn’t expect that certain personality types would be in the house. I should have, but I just didn’t. I also didn’t predict how involved viewers would become. It’s baffling to me.
Has your life changed?
My personal life hasn’t changed a whole lot. I’m still me. I just have a ton of strangers coming up to me thinking that they know me. I know someone called me a snot because he approached me while I was eating. I asked if he could wait till I was done and he said, “That’s pretty snotty of you.” I said, “No offense, but I’m still a real person. If I want to eat my food in peace, that’s what I’m going to do.” It’s weird.
What about the other side of the show, the competition aspect? How was it living with the girls? Did you make friends?
In my everyday normal life, I have maybe two girlfriends. Girls and I, we don’t really mesh that well. I think sometimes that I’m too blunt and people can’t stand it. On the show, that was my biggest fear: I don’t get along with chicks and I have to live with 20 of them. Today, I’m friends with every single girl from Chicago. Brandi M. and I are really close. Heather and I are friends. We just got booked a gig together in October, and I’m really excited for her because I think she’s an awesome chick. It’s surprising to me that when it’s all said and done, I’ve made a lot of girlfriends that I’m still friends with. I’m grateful for that. I think becoming friends with girls made me more sensitive instead of the wannabe badass that I think I am.
Lacey pulled you into the pool early on, but otherwise, it didn’t seem like you had much drama on the show.
They portrayed that in my favor. I did freak out and the producers rushed outside: “Jes, do not hit her.” I was screaming, “Get her the f*** out of my face right now.” But I got over that quickly. I don’t hold grudges.
Lacey perceived you as being snobby when she was trying to talk to you. Agree?
Yeah, I’ll be honest. That was the first week in the house. It all goes back to the fact that I don’t associate with people like that, meaning people who take their clothes off for guys. When she was sitting there talking to me and trying to be nice to me, I could already see through her. I knew that she was a manipulative *****. I knew it! So no, I’m not giving into you. I’m going to be me. I’m not going to give you the time of day and I’m not going to fake and be nice to you for the sake of being nice. I’m sure it came off snotty, but that was me being me.
As a viewer, I bonded with you on the very first episode when you were openly laughing at Tiffany’s antics. You reacted to the craziness like any reality-TV junkie would. Was it like entering a different dimension with all the extreme human behavior going on around you?
Yes. Words can’t describe it. You put 20 chicks in the house with completely different personalities – some are psycho, some are too sensitive – and it’s meant to be drama.
And then, whenever we’d cut to an interview featuring you, it brought like a moment of clarity. Like your comment about Heather’s tattoo.
Right after we finished filming, I stayed for another two days to do about 14 hours of interviews. I started drinking during the sixth hour and got hammered because I mentally and physically couldn’t do it anymore. It was the only way I could do it.
Was it tough dealing with the fact that you weren’t allow to see Bret for about six months after the finale taped (per the rules of the show — they weren’t allowed to be seen together so that the final result wasn’t spoiled)?
Yeah. I was in the house for five weeks dealing with the drama and all that. It was honestly a relief to come back home. Those five weeks, you have no contact with the outside world. There’s no one to convey your emotions to besides the 20 chicks you’re battling with and Bret, who’s battling with 20 chicks, himself.
How frequent has your communication with Bret been during the past six months?
Uh, once.
Earlier, you told me that you talked to Bret just once between the taping of the show and the reunion. Tell me about that conversation.
It was never a direct phone call. His manager called me and connected me with Bret. But before that, I had this cowboy hat that Bret gave me in Mexico and his manager called me: "I need his hat back, can you ship it to this address?" Oh, and you want me to pay for it, too? Great. That's why I just kind of lost it on the reunion show. He had someone call me and connect me with Bret, who then asked, "Do you want to come to the St. Louis show?" It's like no, I don't. He extended that offer to me, but I know he did the same thing for Rodeo and Brandi. He threw that point in my face at the reunion, but I didn't bring that up: Brandi was there and Rodeo was there, so it wasn't as big of a secret as it needs to be. That doesn't make me feel special.
Did you think going into it that this would be something that would last? That the six months would be filled with phone calls and text messages?
When I first started the show, I even said, "I have no expectations." I made that clear. But then once the show ended, once the cameras were off, the vibe was totally different. I could see that the situation was: go your separate ways.
Did that disappoint you?
No. I was bitter toward it by the end. People s*** on us for being there for the wrong reasons, but I wondered if Bret was the one that was there for the wrong reasons.
If you didn't have any expectations, why even do the show? Most of the girls at least expected to attempt to look for love...
That's the thing. I was approached by someone in casting. I was bartending and they drilled me: "You have to go, you have to go." I blew off my first audition and they called me: "Where are you?" So I went on the show and I just did it for the experience. Let's see what happens, was basically my attitude.
Much was made about you letting your guard down. That seemed to start on your first solo date with Bret when he played you the song onstage. Were you indeed falling for him at that point?
No. The whole entire thing was awkward. It looks like I'm gazing into his eyes, but really, it was uncomfortable. Like: I'm trying to have a serious conversation with you and you're serenading me. He agreed, too. Later he said, "I probably shouldn't have sung to you before we had an actual conversation." Yeah, probably not.
But it really did seem like you were into him. You cried in Cabo when he presented you with the needle that he'd need you to revive him with, should he fall into a coma.
After five weeks, I was mentally, physically and emotionally worn out. This guy is sitting here going, "If I go into a diabetic coma, shoot this in my *** or I could die." This was after five weeks of dealing with this s*** and then hearing that from someone you like as a person? It just made me lose it. Like, "I can't f***ing deal with it." Don't get me wrong, I cared about him as a person. But I was emotionally drained. I was done with it.
Do you regret being so competitive with Heather?
Yeah, I do. There were reasons we made it to the end, but now I feel bad because I feel like I stopped Heather from getting what she wanted if the potential was there.
Because you said on the reunion that you thought she should be with him.
And I truly do after watching the show. Just seeing how they interacted on the set of the reunion, they're still laughing. They have those stupid inside jokes that no one else gets.
You said at one point that you got to know Bret "sexually." Did you have sex with Bret?
Absolutely not. Absolutely not.
It's kind of bad-*** of you to go on the reunion and be completely honest about your feelings. I think a lot of people would have played along.
I'm not having it. I'm not putting on a facade. Before the show, I asked the producers, can I do it? Can I flip the script and say what I have to say? And they said, "Do it." I ran with it and that was me.
So you go to the reunion, and you're feeling, what? Resentment?
When I first got the phone call about the reunion, I didn't want to go because I didn't want f***ing drama with the girls. I didn't want to start it up again. To me, I was mentally and physically done with the drama and done with the show. I just didn't want to bring it back into my life six months later. But I did end up showing up. I saw some of the girls and it immediately put me at ease. I had a different vibe of energy come over me. I was scared because of the girls. I didn't have resentment for Bret or anything, I just went to say what I wanted to say.
So you go to the reunion and you're worried about the drama with the girls, but who else besides Lacey did you have to worry about? Heather?
Well, she and I talked very soon after the last episode filmed and just hashed it out. I apologized for saying the things I did. We've been emailing each other back and forth. I found out that she's not dancing and I'm proud of her. I have a lot of respect for that. Heather and I understand that we said things we might not normally say in a different situation. I think she's a great girl and I consider her a friend of mine.
While on stage [in a bit not shown on TV], Bret asked you to dinner on stage and you said that your flight was leaving at midnight. True?
Yeah. My flight left at 11:50. I was being 100 percent dead honest. I wasn't there to rekindle anything. To me, it is what it is.
How far removed are you at this point? If Bret called you tomorrow in search of closure, would you talk to him?
If he wanted to call me and ask about my thoughts, I would tell him straight-up: "I'm not bitter towards you. I'm not holding a grudge. This is what I think, take it or leave it."
And so what's your relationship status now?
I'll say I've moved on. Definitely.
And what's coming up for you? You do hair, right?
I'm a licensed hair stylist, but I'm not working in a salon. I'm just bartending. I was working in this salon for like six years and I was the head color educator for the company. I did all that by the age of 22 and I never had a life. So recently I figured, "Screw that, it's time to have a life." But in terms of other things, I'm doing club appearances. I'm endorsed by a clothing company. I might come out with my own line. We're gonna call it J Rock.
What about the entertainment industry? Are you going to stick with it?
If I can, yeah. I don't know if I'd do acting, though. If I could do modeling, I'd totally do that.
Overall, was your experience on the show bad?
It had its good points and it had its bad points. It was a good experience because I learned about myself and met some cool people. Would I ever do it again? Absolutely not. I'll make appearances on a show, but I'll never go all-out like this again. No way.
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